So Shall I

It gets harder everyday,
sometimes it feels as though
my bones are on fire,
half the time
I’m not sure if the pain is
physical, mental or spiritual;

or maybe a combination
of all three.

I know it’s the diabetes,
it’s getting serious now,
no more fooling around,
no more slight inconvenience,
it has become the monster
all the experts said it would,
a crazed killer
without conscious,
a psychopathic beast
who knows neither mercy
or compassion,
devouring everything
in its path.

Sometimes I just want
to get a bottle of whiskey,
take a few percocettes
with some Billy Gibbons guitar
playing on the headphones,
make the pain melt away,
drift off into the fog,
never come back,
sometimes I just want to
make it stop;

physically, mentally
and spiritually;

so easy,
so final.

But that would be
the easy way,
the path of least resistance,
the broad gate,
the road that leads
to destruction;

He is worth more
than that.

In the evening darkness
I search for His light,
in the morning silence
I listen for His voice,
He is there by my side,
giving me strength
when there is none,
picking me up
when I am down,
He will not let me fail,
He will not let me give up,
He has defeated this world,
and through Him;

so shall I.
.
.