Sunday, August 28, 2011

Blessed
































When I look up and see the green mountain tops, I am home. When I cross the James River and look down on its mighty flowing waters, I am home. When I feel the cool breeze blowing across the valley floor, I am home. And when I realize that this is only a taste of the home to come, merely a shadow of that which You have prepared for those who love You, I am left humbled beyond words or comprehension. Thank you Lord.

You have blessed me
beyond all that my mind
can comprehend,
You have led me through
traps and snares I could not see,
bringing me to perfect places
I never knew existed;

to You do I owe
all that I have to give;

Your mystery is unfathomable,
Your glory beyond mere words,
You stretch out Your hand
and all creation is silenced,
You speak and Your word
becomes reality,
the Holy King of the universe,
the Lord of all there is,
the Great I Am,
Ruler of Heaven and Earth,
my God,
my Everything;

let me praise You
forever.
.
.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Better Left Unsaid

There are many things I could
say to you,
there was a moment,
in the fading sunlight
of a quiet summer day,
an inner softness revealed,
beauty not seen from the outside,
unguarded, unexpected,
private,
just a passing touch;

but it was enough.

In a different time,
a different place,
another life,
things might have been
very different,
but the time is now,
the place is here,
the life is already lived,
but still,
there will always
be that moment;

some things are better
left unsaid.

When you walk into my mind
the sparks begin anew,
there is a hunger
for everything that is you,
I want to feel you
from the inside out,
I want to pour out
everything that I am,
I want to be possessed by you,
I want to explode within you,
I want to tell you all that I feel,

but;

some things are better
left unsaid.
.
.

Final Stand

At last the sun begins to set,
the night does approach,
and it is here by your side
where I shall face
all that it has to bring,
it is here where I shall make
my final stand;

no more running,
no more hiding,
no more interference,
no more pretending;

no more fear.

Traveling the miles and years
without understanding or direction,
without purpose or clarity,
once again the bullshit and
all that is unimportant
begins to fade,
the uncertainty passes,
withering roots come back to life,
brave new universes patiently wait,
seeking shelter within cool pockets
of summer shade,
the land of promise lies ahead,
we have come home
to live;

we have come home
to die.

Take my hand,
together we will survive
the destruction,
together we shall face
the final storm;

together we shall
make this final stand.
.
.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Weakness

“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” Mark 14:38

New beginnings,
the past swept clean,
nowhere left to run,
nothing left to give,
moments of temptation,
unkind words,
unrehearsed thoughts,
traveling into the darkness
of this world surrounding
my every side,
releasing the filth
lurking within,
once again I fail,
once again I fall short,
once again the spirit is willing;

but the flesh remains weak.

You have taken me places
never before seen,
You have given me opportunities
and second chances
not deserved,
standing by my side
through every raging storm,
raising me up
after every fatal fall;

disciplining me
as a beloved son.

Thank you Father,
for Your unlimited
mercy and grace,
thank you for loving me
more than I could
ever love myself,
I cannot survive
without You;

my life is nothing
without You.
.
.

Home

Today was Petey,
my Jack Russell terrier’s
third birthday,
we took him to Pet Smart,
got him a full grooming,
bought him 2 squeaky toys
and some pet treats,
when we left he pissed
on my shoe and pant leg
in the parking lot;

my wife thought
it was very funny.

I am ready to go home,
everyday I become more and
more aware as the desire
grows stronger and stronger,
tired and sick of the daily struggle,
disgusted at the lust and greed,
worn and wearied by the inequity
and unfairness of it all,
appalled by my own inability
to overcome this fleshly prison
surrounding my every side,
slowly killing me with its constant
cravings and depravity,
ready to put my soul in the hands
of the only One who
can save me from this
life that is no life,
in this place that is no home;

I am ready.

But it is not my decision to make,
just as this life is not my life to live,
I have been bought and paid for at a price,
a price I could never afford,
with a love I cannot even fathom,
by a Master who laid His life down
that I might find the way back
to my true home,
the one He has created
for all who love Him;

everything I am is because of Him,
everything I have belongs to Him,

He is where my true home lies.

I Am Going

The rain outside reflects the mood;
cold, wet and tired,
the world slows down,
unable to sustain the momentum;

we hardly take notice.

Moments pass us by
until there is nothing left,
betrayal becomes inevitable
behind treacherous walls of
sardonic infidelity,
complacency swallows up her victims
like leftover children
in lonely dumpsters,
filled with jewels of the night
and other bedtime stories;

I am going,
but I’m not going
quick enough.

Youth lies wasted,
energy a one-way street,
we can never go back,
we can never return to places
lost among the shadows.

Somewhere within the ruins
strangers lie empty and drained,
hidden by lost memories
and walls of battered abuse;

forever searching,
forever wondering
forever knowing.

Sometimes we become so baffled
by the bullshit,
we forget about the clarity,
losing sight of the prize,
forever lost in the fog;

sometimes it’s nothing more than words,
sometimes words say it all,
sometimes words are all there is;

sometimes words aren’t enough.
.
.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Never Been to Prison

Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

Never been to prison,
but I feel like
I’ve been behind bars
since the day I was born,
never seen the desert,
but I think I have been
planning the trip
my entire life;

now my life
is almost over,
dried up
like an abandoned well,
a gentle mist,
a fog shrouded vapor;

see it fade,
see it change,
see it rearrange,
movement becomes hard,
pain a way of life,
everything is gone,
everything is different;

everything is new.

We reap what we sow,
and I have sown the seeds
of perversion,
wallowed in the ways of lust,
fulfilled the desires of the flesh,
reveled in the excesses,
partook of the debauchery,
delighted in the thrills,
lived for the moment,
searched for forbidden fruit;

I deserve nothing.

All my life
I have lived in worlds of fantasy,
trapped by delusions and
non-existent details,
all my life
I have flirted with madness
and disasters beyond
mere magnitudes of mortality,
I have searched for finality,
witnessed untold destruction,
forever knowing,
continually waiting
for moments that came
and went like liquid glass;

the night belongs to those
who have nothing else.

Sadness is an art
known by only a few,
understood by none,
without beginning or end,
without mercy or compassion,
techniques and classifications
have no hold here,
no amount of money
can buy membership here,
words can save,
words can kill;

turn around
before it is too late.

Once more
the darkness closes in,
once more
the abyss lies ahead,
calling, beckoning, caressing,

save me Lord!……………

In the morning
Your voice softly speaks,
telling me not to fear,
reminding me that You see
everything I do,
that not even a sparrow falls
without Your knowledge,
and that I am worth more
than many sparrows,
proving that You are real,
bringing peace
to my troubled mind,
removing the chaos and confusion,
lighting up the darkness;

thank you Lord.

Help me overcome
the spiritual darkness,
help me remember
that the arrogance and hypocrisy
of others will pass,
help me turn the other cheek
when I am attacked,
silence my lips before they utter
foolish words of vanity and evil,
teach me to control this flesh
seeking only self-fulfillment
and self-preservation,
let others see You through me,
remove anything
that is not of You;

let me be a son
of the living God.

Thank you my Lord,
I cannot make it without You,
I cannot live without You,
I cannot breathe without You,
You are my King,
You are my Lord,

You are my EVERYTHING!!!!
.
.

Agendas

Sometimes it becomes hard
separating friends from foes,
good intentions from bad;

truth from lies.

In a world ruled by flesh,
humility is sometimes replaced by pride,
issues clouded by agendas,
clarity overcome by confusion;
egotism and self-glorification
hidden within the face of love.

You have witnessed it all;

every dark, angry thought,
every sinister, evil plot,
every treacherous betrayal,
every late night denial;

remaining silent at the accusations,
withstanding the pain and lies,
loving when there was no love in return,
giving when there was nothing left to give,
forgiving when you had every right to hate,
walking the path
that no one else could;

sacrificing yourself
for the sake of the whole world.

Lord, I have nothing worthy of You,
I am but filthy rags in Your presence,
fit only for death and destruction,
Your love goes beyond my comprehension,
Your mercy more than I could ever deserve,
help me to forgive those with selfish motives
and hidden agendas,
help me to love those
who do not deserve my love;

help me to be like You.
.
.

Greater

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37


Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26


You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. I John 4:4

I awake in the middle
of the dark and silent night,
helpless and afraid,
surrounded by the still
and quiet depths,
overcome by the worries and cares,
reminded of an uncertain tomorrow,
fearful of all that lies
beyond my control,
then You softly speak,
filling me with Your love,
overwhelming me with Your grace,
cleansing me of sin,
restoring my soul,
reminding me
that I will never be alone;
that with You
there is no condemnation,
no rejection.

I sometimes wonder
just where this road is leading,
and I know no matter
what lies ahead
You will see me through,
You will be by my side,
You will provide a way,
through every trial,
through every test,
You are there,
holding me up
when I can no longer stand,
providing strength
when there is nothing left;

through You I am more
than a conqueror,
through You all things are possible,
through You I am greater
than the world.
.
.

Sitting in a Mall While Growing Old

“For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?” Matthew 16:25-26


“The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:25


“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he as done has been done through God.”
John 3:16-21


“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

It’s not easy growing old,
but then again
it’s not so bad either,
there’s a calm sort of peace
sitting on a bench
in the middle of the mall,
drinking a cup of coffee,
watching people pass you by,
knowing that it will soon be
all over.

You start to see the egotistical ness
in it all,
for the first time
you begin to understand
the futility;

and it’s just not so bad.

The curtain is pulled back,
the illusion disappears,
the Holy Spirit speaks
and you realize;

nothing of this world matters,
that everything is temporary,
everything is changing,
yet everything remains the same,
that there is a truth much larger
than life or death,
all the selfishness,
pride,
ego,
emotions,
feelings,
lust,
fear,
anger,
frustration,
greed,
are just a bunch of
self-absorbed hypocrisy,
coming and going,
growing and dying,
fading with each passing moment
of time.

We fail
because we choose to fail,
drowning in the madness,
running from the light,
blaming it on destiny,
making friends
with the prince of this world,
wallowing in our self-pity,
crying at the hopelessness,
preferring the darkness;

hiding from the truth.

Without Jesus there is nothing,
He is the vine,
we are the branches,
the beginning and the end,
the Alpha and the Omega,
the great I AM,
the Truth,
the Light
and the Way,
through Him
are all things possible,
and no man cometh to the Father
but through Him;

praise His holy name forever!
.
.

My Cup Runneth Over

In the quiet
of the slowly setting sun
lie answers hidden so deep,
far from knowing eyes
or understanding minds;

there are stories
no man can tell,
there are places
no man can go.

You looked for the light
but it was only darkness
which you found,
you searched for redemption
yet it was only condemnation
that you deserved.

And yes there are stories
that no man can tell,
and there are places
where no man can go,
but still you held on,
waiting for an uncertain future,
following unsettled clues,
living without validity,
settling for pennies on the dollar,
surrendering to an enemy
already defeated,
making a home in the middle
of celestial wastelands.

I dreamed dreams,
wrestled with demons,
witnessed angels,
ran from the blackness
of the approaching night,
faced the wrath
of an undeniable truth,
now I finally belong to You,

what more could I ask for?
what more could I ever need?

My cup runneth over,
surely goodness and mercy
shall follow me
for all my days,
and I shall dwell
in the house of the Lord
forever.
.
.

Why The World Cannot Receive by A. W. Tozer

“The Christian faith, based upon the New Testament, teaches the complete antithesis between the Church and the world.

“The trouble with most of Christianity today is that we have tried to bridge the gulf between two opposites—the world and the Church—and have performed an illicit marriage for which there is no biblical authority. Actually, no real union between the world and the Church is possible. When the Church joins up with the world it is the true Church no longer but only a pitiful hybrid thing, an object of smiling contempt to the world and an abomination to the Lord.

“The mixture of darkness and light in which many (or should we say most?) believers walk today is not caused by any vagueness on the part of the scriptures. Nothing could be plainer than the pronouncements of the Scriptures on the Christian’s relation to the world. The confusion results from the unwillingness of professing Christians to take the Word of the Lord seriously. Christianity is so entangled with the world that millions never guess how radically they have missed the New Testament pattern. Compromise is everywhere. The world is whitewashed just enough to pass inspection by blind men posing as believers, and those same believers are everlastingly seeking to gain acceptance with the world. By mutual concessions men who call themselves Christians manage to get along with men who have for the things of God nothing but quiet contempt.

“This whole thing is spiritual in its essence. A Christian is what he is, not by theological ideology, but by the new birth. He is a Christian because of a Spirit which dwells in him. Only that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. The flesh can never be converted into spirit, no matter how many church dignitaries work on it. Confirmation, baptism, communion, confession of faith—none of these nor all of them together can turn flesh into spirit nor make a son of Adam a son of God.

“‘Because you are sons,’ wrote Paul to the Galatians, ‘God has sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father’ (Galatians 4:6).

“And to the Corinthians he wrote: ‘Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith; test your own selves. Don’t you know that Jesus Christ is in you, unless you are reprobates? (2 Corinthians 13:5).

“And to the Romans: ‘But you are not of the flesh, but of the Spirit, if the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if any man does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ (Romans 8:9).

“That terrible zone of confusion so evident in the whole life of the Christian community could be cleared up in one day if the followers of Christ would begin to follow Christ instead of each other. For our Lord was very plain in His teaching about the believer and the world.

“On one occasion, after receiving unsolicited and carnal advice from sincere but unenlightened brethren, our Lord replied:

“‘My time is not yet come; but your time is always ready. The world cannot hate you; but me it hates, because I testify that its deeds are evil’ (John 7:6-7).

“He identified His fleshly brethren with the world and said that they and He were of two different spirits. The world hated Him but could not hate them because it could not hate itself. A house divided against itself cannot stand. Adam’s house must remain loyal to itself or it will tear itself apart. Though the sons of the flesh may quarrel among themselves, they are at bottom one with each other. It is when the Spirit of God comes in that an alien element has entered. The Lord said to His disciples:

“‘If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you were of the world, the world would love its own; yet because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you’ (John 15:18-19).

“Paul explained to the Galatians the difference between the slave child and the free: ‘The child born after the flesh always persecutes the child born of the Spirit. It is the same now’ (Galatians 4:29).

“So throughout the entire New Testament a sharp line is drawn between the Church and the world. There is no middle ground. The Lord recognizes no good-natured ‘agreeing to disagree’ so that the followers of the Lamb may adopt the world’s ways and travel along the world’s path. The gulf between the true Christian and the world is as great as that which separated the rich man and Lazarus. And furthermore, it is the same gulf, that is, it is the gulf that divides the world of ransomed from the world of fallen men.

“I well know and feel deeply, how offensive such teaching as this must be to the great flock of worldlings which mills around the traditional sheepfold. I cannot hope to escape the charge of bigotry and intolerance which will undoubtedly be brought against me by the confused religionists who seek to make themselves sheep by association. But we may as well face the hard truth that men do not become Christians by associating with church people, nor by religious contact, nor by religious education; they become Christians only by an invasion of their nature by the Spirit of God in the new birth. And when they do become Christians they are immediately members of a new race, a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people...which in times past were not a people, but are now the people of God (1Pet. 2:9-10).

“In the verses quoted, there has been no wish to quote out of context nor to focus attention upon one side of truth to draw it away from another. The teaching of these passages is altogether one with all New Testament truth. It is as if we dipped a cup of water from the sea. What we took out would not be all the water in the ocean, but it would be a true sample and would perfectly agree with the rest.

“The difficulty we modern Christians face is not misunderstanding the Bible, but persuading our untamed hearts to accept its plain instructions. Our problem is to get the consent of our world-loving minds to make Jesus Lord in fact as well as in word. For it is one thing to say, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and quite another thing to obey the Lord’s commandments. We may sing, ‘Crown Him Lord of All,’ and rejoice in the tones of the loud-sounding organ and the deep melody of harmonious voices, but still we have done nothing until we have left the world and set our faces toward the city of God in hard practical reality. When faith becomes obedience, then it is true faith indeed.

“The world’s spirit is strong, and it clings to us as close as the smell of smoke to our garments. It can change its face to suit any circumstance and so deceive many a simple Christian whose senses are not exercised to discern good and evil. It can play at religion with every appearance of sincerity. It can have fits of conscience (particularly during Lent) and even confess its evil ways in the public press. It will praise religion and fawn on the Church for its goals. It will contribute to charitable causes and promote campaigns to furnish clothing for the poor. Only let Christ keep His distance and never assert His Lordship over it. This it will positively not endure. And toward the true Spirit of Christ it will show only antagonism. The world’s press will seldom give a child of God a fair deal. If the facts compel a favorable report, the tone is apt to be condescending and ironic. The note of contempt sounds through.

“Both the sons of this world and the sons of God have been baptized into a spirit, but the spirit of the world and the Spirit, which dwells in the hearts of twice-born men are as far apart as heaven and hell. Not only are they the complete opposite of each other, but they are sharply antagonistic to each other as well. To a son of earth, the things of the Spirit are either ridiculous, in which case he is amused, or they are meaningless, in which case he is bored.

“‘But the natural man cannot receive the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned’ (1 Corinthians 2:14).

“In the first epistle of John, two words are used over and over, the words ‘they’ and ‘ye,’ and they designate two wholly different worlds. ‘They’ refers to the men and women of Adam’s fallen world; ‘ye’ refers to the chosen ones who have left all to follow Christ. The apostle does not pay homage to the little god ‘Tolerance’ (the worship of which has become in America a kind of secondary surface religion); he is bluntly intolerant. He knows that tolerance may be merely another name for indifference.

“It takes a vigorous faith to accept the teaching of the man John. It is so much easier to blur the lines of separation and so offend no one. Pious generalities and the use of ‘we’ to mean both Christians and unbelievers are much safer. The fatherhood of God can be stretched to include everyone from Jack-the-Ripper to Daniel the Prophet. Thus no one is offended and everyone feels quite snug and ready for heaven. But the man who laid his ear on Jesus’ breast was not so easily deceived. He drew a line to divide the race of men into two camps, to separate the saved from the lost; those who shall rise to eternal reward, from them that shall sink to final despair. On one side are ‘they’ that know not God; on the other ‘ye,’ and between the two is a moral gulf too wide for any man to cross.

“Here is the way John states it: ‘You are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. They are of the world; therefore they speak from the world’s viewpoint, and the world listens to them. We are of God, he that knows God listens to us; he that is not of God does not listen to us. This is how we know the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error’ (1 John 4:4-6).

“Such language as this is too plain to confuse anyone who honestly wants to know the truth. Our problem is not one of understanding, I repeat, but of faith and obedience. The question is not a theological one, ‘What does this teach?’ It is a moral one, ‘Am I willing to accept this and abide by its consequences?’ Can I endure the cold stare? Have I the courage to stand up to the slashing attack of the ‘liberal’? Dare I invite the hate of men who will be affronted by my attitude? Have I independence of mind sufficient to challenge the opinions of popular religion and go along with an apostle? Or briefly, can I bring myself to take up the cross with its blood and its reproach?

“The Christian is called to separation from the world, but we must be sure we know what we mean (or more important, what God means) by the world. We are likely to make it mean something external only and thus miss its real meaning. The theater, liquor, gambling—these are not the world; they are merely an external manifestation of the world. Our warfare is not against merely an external manifestation of the world. Our warfare is not against mere worldly ways, but against the spirit of the world. For man, whether he is saved or lost, is essentially spirit.

“The world, in the New Testament meaning of the word, is simply unregenerate human nature wherever it is found, whether in a tavern or in a church. Whatever springs out of, is built upon or receives support from fallen human nature is the world, whether it is morally wicked or morally respectable.

“The ancient Pharisees, in spite of their zealous devotion to religion, were of the very essence of the world. The spiritual principles upon which they built their system were drawn not from above but from below. They employed against Jesus the tactics of men. They bribed men to tell lies in defense of truth. To defend God, they acted like devils. To support the Bible, they defied the teachings of the Bible. They scuttled religion to save religion. They gave rein to blind hate in the name of the religion of love. There we see the world in all of its grim defiance of God. So fierce was this spirit that it never rested till it had put to death the Son of God Himself. The spirit of the Pharisees was actively and maliciously hostile to the Spirit of Jesus as each was a kind of distillation of the two worlds from whence they came.

“Those present-day teachers who place the Sermon on the Mount in some other dispensation than this and so release the Church from its teachings little realize the evil they do. For the Sermon on the Mount gives in brief the characteristics of the kingdom of renewed men. The blessed poor who mourn for their sins and thirst after righteousness are true sons of the kingdom. In meekness they show mercy to their enemies; with guileless candor they gaze upon God; surrounded by persecutors they bless and curse not. In modesty they hide their good deeds. They go out of their way to agree with their adversaries and forgive those who sin against them. They serve God in secret in the depth of their hearts and wait with patience for His open reward. They freely surrender their earthly goods rather than use violence to protect them. They lay up treasures in heaven. They avoid praise and wait for the day of final reckoning to learn who is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

“If this is a fairly accurate view of things, what can we say then when Christian men vie with one another for place and position? What can we answer when we see them hungrily seeking for praise and honor? How can we excuse the passion for publicity, which is so glaringly evident among Christian leaders? What about political ambition in Church circles? What about the fevered palm that is stretched out for more and bigger ‘love offerings’? What about the shameless egotism among Christians? How can we explain the gross man worship that habitually blows up one and another popular leader to the size of colossus? What about the obsequious hand kissing of moneyed men by those purporting to be sound preachers of the gospel?

“There is only one answer to these questions; it is simply that in these manifestations we see the world and nothing but the world. No passionate profession of love for ‘souls’ can change evil into good. These are the very sins that crucified Jesus.

“It is true also that the grosser manifestations of fallen human nature are part of the kingdom of this world. Organized amusements with their emphasis upon shallow pleasure, the great empires built upon vicious and unnatural habits, unrestrained abuse of normal appetites, the artificial world called ‘high society’—these are all of the world. They are all part of that which is flesh, which builds upon flesh and must perish with the flesh. And from these things the Christian must flee. All these he must put behind him and in them he must have no part. Against them he must stand quietly but firmly without compromise and without fear.

“So whether the world presents itself in its uglier aspects or in its subtler and more refined forms, we must recognize it for what it is and repudiate it bluntly. We must do this if we would walk with God in our generation as Enoch did in his. A clean break with the world is imperative.

“‘You adulterers and adulteresses, don’t you know not that friendship with the world is hatred towards God? Whoever therefore, that is a friend of the world is the enemy of God’ (James 4:4).

“‘Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world’ (1 John 2:15-16).

“These words of God are not before us for our consideration; they are there for our obedience and we have no right to claim the title of Christian unless we follow them.

“For myself, I fear any kind of religious stir among Christians that does not lead to repentance and result in a sharp separation of the believer from the world. I am suspicious of any organized revival effort that is forced to play down the hard terms of the kingdom. No matter how attractive the movement may appear, if it is not founded in righteousness and nurtured in humility it is not of God. If it exploits the flesh, it is a religious fraud and should not have the support of any God-fearing Christian. Only that is of God, which honors the Spirit and prospers at the expense of the human ego. ‘That, according as it is written, He that glories, let him glory in the Lord’ (1Cor. 1:31).”

©A. Tozer

3/7/1950

Just One More Breath

I am tired of living a life
in a world where nothing
really matters,
whose only function
is self-satisfaction,
where goodness is measured
in terms of self-indulgence
and self-glorification,
success by total net worth;

I am tired of a life
without You.

I think about
how wonderful it will be
when I am where You are at,
no more worry,
no more fear,
no more disappointment,
no more turmoil,
no more struggle,
no more doubt.

I think about
how I long to leave this life behind,
step out of this fleshly prison
and walk into Your waiting arms,
but then I remember
how you lived Your life for me,
without ever once
thinking of Yourself,
struggling and sacrificing
through the agony and pain,
bearing the isolation and shame,
giving up Your life
that I might live,
and I realize that You deserve
every minute of my life,
every thought,
every action,
every breath,
that You and You alone
are my Lord and King,
that You have so much more
for me to do,
so many things left unfinished,
so much wasted time
to make up for,
so I ask for just
one more breath,
that I might serve You,
just one more breath
that Your name might be glorified;

just one more breath
that I might breathe it
for You.
.
.

All I Really Want

The world as we know it
is ending,
all the fear,
all the worry,
are becoming reality.

My life goes by,
I eat,
I sleep,
I work,
I laugh,
I scream,
I find fault,
I point fingers,
I criticize,
I am right,
I am wrong,
I am filthy rags,
I am nothing;

all I really want
is You.

Look down on me now,
see the hope
growing inside,
see what no one else
can see,
see beyond the façade,
see beneath the veneer,
see that all I really want
is You.

Reach out Your mighty hand,
pull me from this pit,
save me from the enemy
waiting to conquer and destroy,
remove all the iniquities and impurities,
help me rise
above the stench and filth,
let all the world see;

all I really want
is You.
.
.

A Long Road

I think I am ready,
yes, this time
I think I am finally ready,
it has been a long road,
full of humiliation and degradation,
holding back at the hypocrisy,
turning the other cheek
to the self-righteous,
listening to the babble of fools,
remaining silent
in the face of
man-made knowledge
and wisdom;

it has been a long road.

I hear Your voice,
softly calling
in the middle of the night,
asking if I am ready
to let go,
asking if I am ready
to follow;

and yes,
this time I think
I am finally ready.

Lord, stay with me now,
stay with me forever,
reach out
and touch me
with Your blessed hand,
heal my wounds,
forgive my transgressions,
open my eyes,
fill me with Your light,
guide my paths,
overflow my cup,
restore my soul;

bring me home to You.
.
.

Ready

I search for answers and truth
among the shadows and fringes,
I travel through this land
of dying dreams and false hopes,
and no matter where I turn
it always comes back to You;

You are every answer,
You are every truth,
You are all I need.

When nothing seems right,
when the light no longer shines,
when the whole world
comes crashing in,
You are there
like a cool springtime breeze,
when no one hears,
when no one cares,
You stand by my side
closer than a brother,
the King who laid down His life
to save a wretched piece of filth
like me.

In this life I have become a joke,
a fool without hope,
a lost ship tossing and turning
upon raging ocean waves,
look inside and see the sincerity,
see the passion,
see the desire,
see the love.

I am ready Lord,
ready to do Your will,
ready to belong to You,
ready to come home to You.

Make my life fruitful,
make me a well from which
living waters flow;

make me a son
in whom a father
may take pride.
.
.

Bring Me Home to You

Stay with me Father,
hold my head above the fray,
protect me from unseen enemies,
let my eyes see the light
of one more day.

Lead me through this darkness,
help me to make a stand,
for I have forsaken Your
wisdom and righteousness,
I have wandered far
from Your protective hand;

bring me home to You Lord,
bring me home to You.

Never let me go,
never let me forget,
that for You
all things are possible,
that there is nothing
You do not know,
that there is nothing
You cannot do;

bring me home to You Lord,
bring me home to You.

When hope has died
and tomorrow seems so far away,
You are there like
a mighty beacon of light,
gently leading the way;

bring me home to You Lord,
bring me home to You.

This world deceives
even the best,
the deceit and lies
bring down even the strongest,
without You there is no hope,
without You there is nothing;

bring me home to You Lord,
bring me home to You.

Praise You above all others,
praise You with every voice,
praise You with every breath,
praise You forever;

bring me home to You Lord,

bring me home to You.
.
.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

You Are All There Is

From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”    John 6:66-69

Dark clouds on the horizon,
the storm rapidly approaches,
no escape,
no where left to run;

eventually the end
catches us all.

Within Your sanctuary
I seek shelter,
You are my safe haven,
You are my only refuge,
to You alone do I run;

You are all there is.

Time grows short,
soon there will be
nothing left,
I wait for the day,
I long to be
where You are,
there is nothing else,
I cannot escape
even if I wanted to;

You are all there is.

Lord, I am so lost,
I am so blind,
I am so hopeless,
I am so pathetic,
I am so helpless,
without You
I am nothing;

You are all there is.

You teach me truth,
cutting through all
the hypocrisy and hate,
giving the example;

You are all there is.
.
.

You Who Are My King

Without You,
the words no longer
have meaning,
without You,
the world is dark and cold,
without You,
there is no meaning;

without You,
there is no purpose.

You have led me
through the land of shadows,
where hope does not exist,
You have brought me up
from the depths and pits
of death and despair,
You have saved me
from the destruction
of my wayward ways.

To You
does everything belong,
in You
will I place
my hope and trust,
through You
shall I be redeemed;

You who are my King,
You who are my Lord,
You who I shall serve
forever.
.
.

Knowledge of God

O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! For who hath known the mind of the Lord? Or who hath been his counsellor? Or who hath first given to him, and it shall be recompensed unto him again? For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen. Romans 11:33-36

Wandering alone,
destroyed by the moment,
overcome by the magnitude,
afraid of the consequences;

eternally gone.

I have fallen short,
I have been less,
I have not been
all that You created
me to be.

I don’t comprehend the reason,
I can’t explain the why,
I only know through You
it will all work out
in the end.

Without suffering and pain
there would be no relief,
without sadness and sorrow
there would be
no happiness and joy,
without darkness and evil
there would be no
light and righteousness;

and without You
there would be no hope.

Thank you Lord,
rebuke me when I am wrong,
discipline me as a beloved son,
praise Your holy name,
to You belongs the glory;

to You shall I belong
forever.
.
.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Creature

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17

No longer the same,
no longer a slave
of this flesh driven body,
no longer a victim,
no longer trapped
by fear and death,
something different;

a new creation.

Born of the spirit,
a foreigner
walking in a foreign land,
a child of light
called out from the darkness,
a chosen vessel;

a son of God.

Let me walk
in Your holy righteousness,
teach me how to grow,
fill me with Your endless love,
guide my steps
down the paths
which lead me home
to You.
.
.

A Dark Day

Thus saith the LORD, thy redeemer, and he that formed thee from the womb, I am the LORD that maketh all things; that stretcheth forth the heavens alone; that spreadeth abroad the earth by myself; That frustrateth the tokens of the liars, and maketh diviners mad; that turneth wise men backward, and maketh their knowledge foolish;   Isaiah 44:24-25

Today was a dark day,
rainy and cloudy,
windy and cold,
gloomy and sinister,
all day long.

I felt like I wanted
to do something,
but I didn’t know what,
sometimes it feels
as though this is the
story of my life:

dark days and
not knowing what
to do.

I saw a specialist yesterday
about my herniated disk,
he suggested trying a nerve block
to relieve the pain,
he doesn’t know if it will work,
but it beats the alternatives,
so I’m going to go with it.

I watched a show about Hitler
on the military channel,
it was about his rise to power
and the extraordinary events
which took place
to make it happen,
it almost seemed supernatural,
which is exactly what it was;

monsters like him
only exist
because God allows it.

While watching
the thought occurred
that his whole purpose
for existence
was to put the Jewish people
through a great refining trial
before being allowed
to return to their homeland,
and that perhaps
the whole purpose of America
becoming a nation
almost 200 years earlier,
was to make it possible
for Hitler’s eventual defeat
and pave the way
for God’s chosen people
to return to their promised land,
just like perhaps
the purpose of the Roman Empire
was to provide the method by which
fulfillment of a 700 year old prophecy
of the Messiah dying on a tree
could be fulfilled,
and that the subsequent news
of His resurrection could be spread
throughout the known world of the time,
through the technology of Roman roads
and transportation systems;

perhaps?

Of course, I’m sure
scholars and experts,
those so much wiser than I,
would laugh at such a notion,
but then it wouldn’t be
the first time
God has used seemingly
unrelated and unimaginable plans
to confound
the wise and knowledgeable;

would it?

Who would have thought
that a rag tag
band of uneducated
fishermen and peasants,
would confound and confuse
the educated and wise men
of their day,
by witnessing and testifying
to the greatest event
in the history of mankind?

Who could have imagined it?
.
.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Everything I Need

Walking in the darkness
the pain grows stronger,
becoming more
than I think my body can bear,
with every breath, with every step,
You teach me the value of mercy,
You show me the price of suffering.

You are the potter,
I am just the clay,
even though I have nothing,
with You I have
everything I need.

This body fades,
time turns everything into rust,
being with You is all that matters,
walking with You all that I desire,
glorifying Your name my only purpose,
serving You my only mission.

You are the potter,
I am just the clay,
even though I have nothing,
with You I have
everything I need.

Lord I am so close,
look down on me now,
see the humility of my heart,
know the sorrow contained within,
remove the darkness,
save me from the sadness,
fill me with Your love,
lift me into Your arms,
every hour,
every minute,
every second;

everything I have
belongs to You.

You are the potter,
I am just the clay,
even though I have nothing,
with You I have
everything I need.
.
.

In the Morning

In the morning,
I remember a simpler time,
a sweeter life,
warm Florida mornings,
with air so pure
you could taste the promise
in every breath;

but none of it compares
with You.

Who can speak of Your
wondrous glory and light?
what words can describe
the magnitude of
Your mercy and grace?
what sounds may be uttered
that reflect the majesty
of Your perfect love?

Rain Your spirit down on me,
open my mind and eyes,
illuminate my soul,
let me find the words
which glorify
Your holy name.

Lead me
when I am blind,
remind me
when I forget,
show me
that without You
I am lost,
without You
I can do nothing at all.

Restore the joy,
remove the darkness,
heal the damage,
open my eyes,
fill me with Your love,
let me shine
with Your light;

bring me home
to You.
.
.

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