Good Friday, 2011

Again and again they struck him on the head with a staff and spit on him. Falling on their knees, they paid homage to him. And when they had mocked him, they took off the purple robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him out to crucify him.   Mark 15:19-20

When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.   Luke 23:33-34

praise to You O LORD,

on this day of days,

this dark, cold night

before the dawn,

on a tree You were hung,

like a lamb You were led

to the slaughter,

without a word, You

accepted the abuse,

suffering the torture and torment,

withstanding the isolation,

dying for us all,

giving up Your life,

that we might live,

Your love never wavering,

You faithfulness remaining

until the end;

praise to You O LORD,

let all the world proclaim

Your holy name,

let all the world fall down

before Your mighty throne,

let every creature under heaven

and on earth, worship Your

magnificent glory,

for You alone are worthy,

You alone are deserving

You alone are LORD;

my King,

my God,

my Everything.

.

.

as a child

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.   Matthew 18:1-5

no more shall we meet,

strangers on this long black road

into night,

darkness gives way to the dawn,

defeated forever by the light

of a rising Son,

illuminating the world,

with His majesty and glory;

what thanks have we,

for this gift given freely?

none be worthy,

even if we could;

as it was given,

so shall we give,

without recompense

or remorse,

honoring the One,

from whom all things

are given,

the Creator who shines His light,

on all things good and bad;

thank you Lord,

that I might have eyes to see,

and ears to hear,

as a child without question,

as a lamb without guilt;

thank You for all things.

.

.

domination

some days I am the tiger,

some days I am the wolf,

some days I am the sick, bloated whale,

lying helplessly stuck,

on the soft white beach,

as natives point fingers,

and stare mindlessly

into my soul;

I cannot make it without You,

I have always known this,

but the flesh is weak,

as the voice speaks gently inside;

“do not be afraid, just believe,

hold on to Me, you shall overcome”

I ask for nothing,

You provide all I need,

I praise Your name,

You alone are worthy;

the day will come,

when the true works of man

shall be seen by all,

the high and mighty,

the proud and self-righteous,

will cower in shame,

for all they have done in the name

of fairness and decency,

their hypocritical deeds

seen by all,

a testimony to the evil

which they truly belong,

failing to fulfill

their insatiable greed,

their burning lust for power

over other men,

domination,

in a dominating world,

where rewards

are never enough,

and death

only a heartbeat away.

.

.

Worthy

speak and I shall listen,

lead and I shall follow,

for You are my God,

and I am Your servant,

for this purpose was I born,

for this reason do I live;

above You,

there is no other,

You alone are worthy,

You alone deserve all worship and praise,

within You do all things lie,

within You are all things possible;

washed with the blood,

sacrificed for so many,

You fill us with your spirit,

that we might find true understanding,

that we might know

true knowledge and peace;

a gift so precious,

it surpasses all understanding,

given freely to all who accept,

though none deserve;

oh my Lord,

my spirit cries out for You,

speaking the love and adoration

that is Yours and Yours alone,

let the glory of Your mystery consume me,

like a  great and wonderful fire;

teach me,

guide me,

admonish me,

cleanse me

purify me,

sanctify me;

that through faith,

I might be found worthy

of one such as You

.

.

A Dark Day

“This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the LORD, the Maker of all things, who stretches out the heavens, who spreads out the earth by myself, who foils the signs of false prophets and makes fools of diviners, who overthrows the learning of the wise and turns it into nonsense, who carries out the words of his servants and fulfills the predictions of his messengers, who says of Jerusalem, ‘It shall be inhabited,’ of the towns of Judah, ‘They shall be rebuilt,’ and of their ruins, ‘I will restore them,’ who says to the watery deep, ‘Be dry, and I will dry up your streams,’ who says of Cyrus, ‘He is my shepherd and will accomplish all that I please; he will say of Jerusalem, “Let it be rebuilt,” and of the temple, “Let its foundations be laid.” ’   Isaiah 44:24-28

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.   Isaiah 55:8-11

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his generation protested? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished. He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth. Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life an offering for sin, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand. After he has suffered, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities.   Isaiah 53:4-11

today was a dark day;

rainy and cloudy,

windy and cold;

gloomy and sinister;

I felt like there was

something I needed to do,

but I didn’t know what,

sometimes it feels

as though this is the

story of my life;

dark days and

not knowing what

to do;

I saw a specialist yesterday

about my herniated disk,

he suggested trying a nerve block

to relieve the pain,

he doesn’t know if it will work,

but it beats the alternatives,

so I’m going to go with it;

I watched a show about Hitler

on the military channel,

about his rise to power

and the extraordinary events

which made it possible,

it almost seemed supernatural,

which of course it was;

monsters like him only exist

because God allows it;

while watching the thought occurred,

perhaps his whole purpose was

to put the Jewish people

through a great refining trial,

a test,

before being allowed

to return to their ancient homeland,

it made me wonder if perhaps,

the whole purpose of America

becoming a nation,

was to make it possible

for Hitler’s eventual defeat,

and pave the way

for God’s chosen people

to return to their promised land,

just like perhaps,

the purpose of the Roman Empire,

was to create the circumstances

through which prophecy was fulfilled,

concerning the Messiah suffering and being

put to death, and the news of His resurrection

being spread through the known world of the time,

by the technology of Roman roads

and transportation systems;

perhaps?

of course, I’m sure

scholars and experts,

much wiser than I,

would disagree and laugh at such a notion,

but then it wouldn’t be the first time,

God has used seemingly

unrelated and unimaginable plans,

to confound the wise and knowledgeable;

would it?

who would have thought

that a rag-tag band of uneducated,

fishermen and peasants,

would confound and confuse

the wise men of their day,

witnessing and testifying

to the greatest event

in the history of mankind?

who could have imagined it?

.

.

W.B. Yeats

welcome old friend,

come in from the cold

and rest awhile,

I recognize your voice,

it is one I have heard

many times before,

the accent was a

little different then,

from what it is now,

but still,

it is the same,

we have talked often

you and I,

during that soft

and painful transition,

as I tried to hold on

to the dark and dying night,

and you patiently waited

for the pale morning dawn,

you must tell me old friend,

have you found that precious

light of a new day,

for which you waited

and searched

for so long?

ah well;

nor could I

hang onto the darkness,

but what difference does it make?

it is in the trying

that matters most,

you and I,

were never born

to live in the black

or the white;

it is the cracks in-between,

where we belong.

.

.

O Eire

O Eire,

who could taste your sweetness,

and not cry out for more?

who could stand upon your cliff tops,

or walk the banks of the river Shannon,

and not feel your mystical magic?

your hills

breathe with life,

so young and fresh,

yet with a wisdom,

so ancient and old;

O Eire,

even the mightiest invader

is overwhelmed

by the power of your Irishness,

as they succumb

not to your sword,

but to your spirit,

you take not their lives,

rather, you take their souls,

making them prisoners

to that which they had come to imprison;

O Eire.

.

.

Pushbuttons

sports, sex and food,

those are about the only things in life

that have ever really interested me,

and I’ve only been good at two of those,

well okay,

I used to be good at two,

now,

I only do one well;

technology?

bores the shit out of me,

and on top of that,

I don’t really understand it,

yet somehow,

here I am,

a highly trained technician,

in a highly technical field,

pushing buttons,

watching red and green lights,

go on and off,

thinking about

the leftover steak in the refrigerator,

the secretary with the nice ass,

or how my daughter can improve her basketball game;

sometimes I imagine life,

living in a stone cottage,

overlooking the ocean,

on the western coast of Ireland,

writing whatever comes to mind

all day long,

then walking into the village at night

to drink a few pints,

and tell a few lies,

then stumbling home,

to crawl in bed with a good woman,

big and soft,

who moves with passion,

moaning out of control;

and keeps the house clean;

excuse me,

I have to push a button.

.

.

A New Day

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.   II Corinthians 12:9

the sun rises on the distant horizon,

a new day dawns;

searching for so long,

running from masters served,

surrounded by prison bars,

caught in unseen traps and chains,

a prisoner of this flesh and blood,

fighting a war I can never win;

do the battles never end?

then Your voice quietly speaks,

the peace and joy return,

the fear and doubt fade,

the darkness retreats,

hope grows;

a slave no more;

the pain melts away,

falling like the evening stars,

Your light shines upon me

like a beacon in the night,

there is You,

and nothing else matters,

Your glory is all there is;

Your grace is enough;

look down on me now Lord,

see the weakness hiding within,

forgive the compromise and betrayal,

remove the evil standing before me,

raise me above the destruction,

carry me through the growing storm,

protect me from the enemy waiting

just outside this door;

bring me home to You.

.

.

Nothing Left to Say

When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.   John 19:30

the morning rises,

dark and cold,

this time without sound,

this night without day,

many empty words later,

beautiful dreams fade,

broken and dead,

new visions and epiphanies

fill the void,

feeble and weak;

nothing left to say;

all the self-absorbed pity,

all the weakness and fear,

all the lost moments,

all the wasted time,

this cacophony of

endless excuses,

proud and vain within

their self-made universe,

without soul or purpose,

without depth or emphasis,

just one more day,

one more touch,

one more breath;

away;

rules have no meaning here,

fantasies move back and forth,

flying like the wind,

abandoned with the morning trash;

no one knows the cost,

no one knows the price;

before Your throne do I fall,

into Your hands do I place my life,

upon Your mercy and grace

lies my only hope;

I am Yours,

to do with as You will.

.

. 

Weakness

“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”   Mark 14:38

new beginnings,

houses swept clean,

nowhere left to run,

nothing left to give,

moments of temptation,

unkind words,

unrehearsed thoughts,

traveling into the darkness,

releasing the filth,

once again I fail,

once again I fall short,

once again the spirit is willing;

but the flesh remains weak;

You have taken me places

never before seen,

You have given me opportunities

and second chances not deserved,

standing by my side

through every raging storm,

raising me up

after every fatal fall;

disciplining me

as a beloved son;

thank you Father,

for Your unlimited

mercy and grace,

thank you for loving me

more than I could

ever love myself.

.

.

Power

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. I Corinthians 4:20

Your power is beyond all

this world can comprehend,

like a philosophy or psychology,

we try to minimize who You really are,

sweeping You under man-made rugs,

placing You inside man-made boxes,

trying to restrain You with man-made

laws and traditions,

never understanding,

never knowing,

never able to fully acknowledge,

that everything we are,

everything we know,

exists only by Your

unfathomable mercy and grace,

through the unlimited power

of Your Word alone,

that every breath taken,

is a gift which can never be repaid;

through Your power,

I am given a taste of a world

free from sin,

a world of love and hope,

stripped of all its suffering and fear;

without hate,

without lust,

without greed;

through Your power,

I begin to understand,

through the Holy Spirit,

I start to see a place

my mind cannot fully grasp,

an indescribable place,

prepared from the beginning

for those who love You,

a world that leaves me humbled,

perfect and pure,

beyond words,

without compare,

a world where I can only

fall down before You

and whisper;

my Lord,

my Master,

my King;

my Everything.

.

.

Friend

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.   1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I watch you blossom,

I hear the joy in your voice,

I see the happiness on your face,

I feel the peace inside your heart;

my beautiful desert flower,

my warm, sweet dream,

my refuge within the storm,

my last pure thought;

you are my friend,

I love you completely,

I love you unconditionally;

I always will.

.

.

Let Me Belong to You

But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!   Matthew 6:13

For thou art my lamp, O LORD: and the LORD will lighten my darkness.   2 Samuel 22:29

The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined   Isaiah 9:2

Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.   John 8:12

I am done with darkness,

done with all it’s misery and suffering,

done trying to live in it,

done trying to be a friend of it,

done trying to understand it,

done trying to please it,

done being afraid of it;

I am done with darkness;

let me live in Your light,

let me grow in Your love,

let me rejoice in Your mercy and grace,

let me be a lamp set upon a hill,

let me have the light of life;

let me belong to You;

so many have lost hope,

trapped in self-made prisons

of darkness and despair,

searching for false truths,

seeking solutions leading nowhere,

depending on man-made answers,

believing in inventions of their own minds;

let me belong to You;

You are the truth,

You are the light;

You are the Way.

.

.

Rejoice

Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.   Philippians 4: 4-7

the cold black night

quietly closes in,

the pain steadily intensifies,

blinding and overwhelming,

becoming more than I think

my spirit can possibly bear,

hope slowly fades,

rage fills my mind and heart,

bitterness and anger grow,

until it feels as though

I am about to burst;

the enemy silently waits,

ready for the final kill;

then You reach out across the

long lonely miles,

using unsuspecting and unexpected messengers,

gently reminding me that You are near,

softly speaking words of encouragement,

renewing my faltering spirit,

providing new found courage,

making it possible to rise once again;

the pain begins to dissolve,

the darkness turns to light,

hope comes flooding in like a mighty river,

Your blessed peace surrounds me like a

well worn blanket,

the enemy retreats back into the

blackness from which he came;

once more You have delivered me

from unseen traps and snares,

once more You have brought hope

where there was none to be found,

once more You have saved me through

Your never ending mercy and grace;

I will rejoice in You,

I will declare Your wondrous love,

I will praise Your holy name forever.

.

.

What Love Really Is

The LORD saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time. The LORD regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled. So the LORD said, “I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created—and with them the animals, the birds and the creatures that move along the ground—for I regret that I have made them.” But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD.   Genesis 6:5-8

some get it,

most don’t,

they think they do,

but they don’t,

their comments and words

give them away,

but it is ok,

most of the time

I don’t get it either,

I just put on a knowing look,

and pretend with all the rest;

it does get hard though,

listening to all the know-it-alls,

all the self-proclaimed experts,

rambling on and on about

this and that,

as you patiently listen, nod

and smile,

all the while wondering,

what you will eat for dinner

when you get home,

or why the One who

does know all,

puts up with the

vanity and hypocrisy,

why He doesn’t just

speak and make it all

go away;

it’s moments like this,

when you realize

what love really is.

.

.

Only the Wind Remains

your beauty fades,

the darkness of night

does approach,

there is no truth left,

no more hope before

the dawn,

this moment of ordinary

clarity disappears,

chance encounters inside

realms of creative laughter;

another answer,

another possibility;

only the wind remains;

words flow like delicate swans,

wrapping themselves in

royal robes of comfort,

deep within the sound of

your breath,

soft and secure,

speaking unknown mysteries and

telling tales of untold valor,

staggering like drunken sailors on

maiden voyages,

weaving inside blurred lines

of forgotten innocence,

lost upon midnight dreams,

unable to grasp even the

fundamentals;

the window is closing;

the time almost here,

the silence roars without a sound,

the hour upon which it

stands grows near;

only the wind remains;

.

.

Hiding in Plain Sight

they have become mesmerized

with the violence,

conditioned by the lies;

without feeling,

without joy;

without soul;

I remain silent,

because that is what

I choose;

words never mattered

anyway;

I could not save you;

you were too far gone,

too far along,

too far away;

from a dream,

I reach for you,

but you’re not there,

I call out your name,

but you do not hear,

replacing one,

without the other,

such an impossible task;

even now,

I hear your voice,

even now,

I see you your face,

even now,

I taste your skin;

a new day dawns,

old memories fade;

no return,

no mercy,

no hanging on;

forgotten memories and

empty futures,

travel down lost

and lonesome paths,

on their way to hidden

valleys,

where even the sun

does not speak;

I am tired of giving

pearls to dogs,

wisdom to swine,

tired of voices that only

know how to speak,

but have never learned

how to listen;

your judgment makes you smaller,

your expressions and excuses,

nothing more than meaningless drivel,

dead-end streets,

you use the cracks and crevices of

distant shores like common

knowledge;

platitudes and artistic differences

only go so far,

sooner or later choices

must be made;

eventually it becomes real,

eventually it slips away;

everything you know,

everything you are,

everything you ever were;

just fading vapor,

dispersing with the wind;

the higher you go,

the farther you fall,

the faster you run,

the bigger the crash.

.

.

I Dream in Words

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.   John 1:1-5

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.   John 1:14

I dream in words;

multi-colored,

multi-layered,

red, white and blue,

star spangled bannered;

words that cut,

words that whisper,

bold and beautiful,

bright and shining,

melting like candy,

dripping like honey,

flowing like a river,

on its way to the sea;

pouring down like rain,

a delightful deluge,

nourishing,

replenishing,

giving life where

there is none,

providing hope,

speaking mysteries,

hidden since the foundation

of the world,

running from the day,

disappearing into the

night,

smooth and cool,

fresh and light,

a precious gift,

tucked safely within

this secret hiding place,

like fine pearls,

or dazzling diamonds,

living,

breathing,

pulsing,

everyday a little closer,

everyday a little further,

just a little more,

just another taste;

I dream in words.

.

.

No Other

I am the LORD, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God. I will strengthen you, though you have not acknowledged me, so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting people may know there is none besides me. I am the LORD, and there is no other. I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things.   Isaiah 45:5-7

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power.   I Corinthians 4:20

the empty highway looms ahead,

stretching on forever, no end in sight,

destinations unknown, distant and unexplored,

staring mindlessly ahead, missing the thrill of the open road,

missing the isolation of the high mountain trails,

missing the taste of a young girl’s lips,

the breathless excitement in her eyes,

the feel of her quivering anticipation;

understanding things that no longer are;

it does not matter, the past is gone,

the only truth left, shining brightly ahead,

the small, still voice, speaking deeply within,

opening your eyes, revealing things

you could never have imagined,

incomprehensible things, things of beauty, things of truth,

knowledge for which words have no expression,

leaving you humbled and in awe;

God is power,

forming the light, creating darkness,

bringing prosperity, allowing disaster,

not bold, foolish talk, not man-made traditions,

not a better way of living, not a philosophy,

far beyond anything our limited minds can comprehend,

healing the sick, giving sight to the blind,

raising the dead to life;

God is power.

.

.

Adonai

The LORD says to my lord: “Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.” The LORD will extend your mighty scepter from Zion, saying, “Rule in the midst of your enemies!” Your troops will be willing on your day of battle. Arrayed in holy splendor, your young men will come to you like dew from the morning’s womb. The LORD has sworn and will not change his mind: “You are a priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.” The Lord is at your right hand; he will crush kings on the day of his wrath. He will judge the nations, heaping up the dead and crushing the rulers of the whole earth. He will drink from a brook along the way, and so he will lift his head high.   Psalm 110:1-7

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.   John 1:1-5

Adonai;

above You there is no other,

You are the beginning,

You are the end,

You are all there is;

Adonai;

You stretch out Your hand,

the raging winds become calm,

You speak and by Your words alone,

a universe is created;

Adonai;

You are truth,

You are light,

You are righteousness,

You are holy;

Adonai;

before You do I fall,

through You am I redeemed,

by Your will do I stand,

through Your love am I saved;

Adonai;

forgive my foolishness,

rebuke me as a Father rebukes a son,

fill me with Your truth and love,

teach me Your righteous ways;

Adonai;

.

.

Maybe Two

the feet burn;

cold, like blocks of ice,

dead and distant,

bloated and swollen;

movement comes hard;

the phone rings,

the VA,

telling you they got

the latest lab results,

want you to up

the dosage,

you hit ignore,

roll back over;

enough is enough;

you think about truth,

you think about lies,

you think about appearances,

you think about deception;

we all get exactly what

we deserve;

Petey lays at your feet,

quietly concerned,

understanding more

than most,

seeing things

others cannot,

it is instinctual;

it is on another level;

somehow you fight through

the stupor,

rising once more,

putting one foot in front

of the other,

until eventually

you feel the floor

again;

“c’mon Petey” you say,

who jumps quickly up,

tail wagging,

“let’s go check the mail;”

not ready to give up

just yet;

still got one more round;

maybe two.

.

.

Pence, Indiana

come, come now,

must we take ourselves so seriously?

or perhaps this is a prerequisite for

respectability,

doesn’t even the springtime breeze

laugh at its graven image?

who are we to say otherwise?

maybe we should just have another drink,

yes that’s it!

hey boy,

could you pass that silver bottle?

the one which life has chosen

to crawl into and hide,

until some poor sucker

can suck it out,

then is he ever going to be surprised,

because he’s just won,

an all expense paid vacation,

for two,

or three,

to, brace yourself Martha,

Pence, Indiana,

yes that’s right,

you and a guest, or guests, of your choosing,

you do have a guest don’t you?

will have full use,

of all the grain elevators and backseats

you can possibly fit into,

all this, and more,

courtesy of

your local ymca;

but really now,

let’s not get off the subject,

although I admit,

I never had

any particular subject

in mind,

except maybe

a few old boyhood dreams,

which remain stuck

in the cobwebs.

.

.

Verdict

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.   Ecclesiastes 1:9

“This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.”    John 3:19

everyday I prepare for battle,

everyday I fight the fight,

some days I win,

some days I lose;

some days I barely break even;

we talk of change,

we hope for a better way,

but at the end of the day,

everything remains the same;

there is nothing new under the sun;

we are what we are,

because we choose to be,

unable to be anything else,

shadows, disappearing with

the noon day sun,

fodder flailing in the wind,

failing and re-failing,

facsimiles wasting away

like rotting refuse;

guilty as charged;

where does it all end,

where does it all begin,

like a mighty, rolling river,

flowing from here to there,

without reason,

without rhyme;

where does it all end?

do not leave me here,

in this land of dying corpses,

breathe new life into my lungs,

restore the light before my eyes,

pull me from this drowning world;

bring me home to You.

.

.

Product

Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.   Isaiah 55:6-8

this life is not about;

you,

me;

not about;

self-fulfillment,

self-satisfaction,

self-righteousness,

self-improvement,

self-achievement,

self-promotion;

not about self at all;

not about money,

not about possessions,

not about fortune or fame;

no matter what you might think,

no matter what you might feel,

no matter what you might believe;

truth remains truth,

whether you discover it or not,

despite whether you

agree with it or not,

it does not change by

popular demand,

it does not bend to fit

your personal thoughts or

ideas,

it is not dependent upon

your approval;

this life is about

bringing glory and honor

to the One who created it;

He is the potter,

we are just the clay,

He is the vine,

we are just the branches;

He is the author,

we are simply the product.

.

.

Suburbia

out in the fields,

the slaughterhouse seems

so far away,

dreams still live,

the future open and free,

tomorrow certain and secure;

little do they know;

the cattle truck is on its way;

the circle is closing,

and you wonder;

is this the best there is?

or more importantly;

is this all there is?

as if it ever mattered,

one way or the other,

yet still you wonder,

and you forget,

and you remember,

over and over again;

everything changes,

everything remains the same;

the days become harder,

movement nonexistent,

just a little farther,

only a little longer,

holding on with what

little there is,

living for letting go,

waiting for the last breath,

pretending it matters,

wishing it didn’t;

knowing it never will;

in central suburbia,

the waves wash quietly

upon forgotten shores,

nothing is ever what it seems,

no one is ever who they say,

looking down from sacred ground,

privileged and blessed,

safe and secure,

flags flying high,

apple pies cooling

on kitchen counters;

‘those’ people are ruining the country,

‘those’ people don’t belong here;

and all I ever wanted was You.

.

.

Infection

Jesus looked directly at them and asked. “Then what is the meaning of that which is written: ‘The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone?’ Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed.”   Luke 20:17-18

From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life. Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!” Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”  Matthew 16:21-26

“To face what we are in the end, we stand before the light and our true nature is revealed. Self-revelation is annihilation of self.”   Kathleen Conklin – ‘The Addiction’

we all stand afflicted,

hopelessly addicted,

ravaged and abused,

scourged and inflicted;

infected by the disease;

we choose this road,

because that is who we are,

what we have become,

there simply is no other choice,

no other path;

a leopard cannot change

its spots,

nor can a flea become

a dog;

hopelessly addicted,

infected by the disease;

self-induced delusions,

self-abused illusions,

self-taught dreams,

self-righteous justification;

hopelessly addicted,

infected by the disease.

.

.