Friday, November 29, 2013

A Black Friday Story

I have only gone shopping on the Friday after Thanksgiving once. It was many years ago, when Black Friday had not become quite the spectacle it is today. Or perhaps it was and I didn't realize it. Anyway, we were living in New Jersey, and I was off from work Thanksgiving and the Friday after it. I had noticed an ad for a cordless phone in a flyer for Best Buy, which my youngest daughter, Eileen, had wanted for Christmas. It seemed like a good deal, so I thought I'd go up to the local Best Buy in Deptford, NJ and pick one up. The reason I know Black Friday had not become the spectacle it is today, is that stores did not open up in the middle of the night like they do now. I think the flyer said the store opened at 8 am, so I got up around 7, hopped in the car and began my journey. I got to the Best Buy around 7:45 am and couldn't believe my eyes! There was a line of people starting from the door and winding around the entire parking lot, waiting for the door to open. I was shocked, I had never seen anything like it. I wasn't about to get involved in this to save 10 bucks on a cordless phone, so I turned around in the parking lot and went back out. After I got back on the road I decided to stop at Deptford Mall which was right down the road. There is a huge Sears there and I figured I could pick up a phone even if I had to pay the normal price. I noticed all the cars in the parking lot, but really didn't think much of it until I stepped inside the mall. Sears had not opened yet, their gate was still down. There was a line of people standing in front of the first floor gate, which stretched all the way down the mall to the other end. Probably about 2,000 people (rough estimate). 'Well, forget this' I thought, and started to go back out the exit door when I thought; 'there's a second floor entrance, maybe the line isn't quite as long'. So I walked up the stairs to the second floor entrance and to my amazement there was not ONE SINGLE PERSON standing in front of the second floor gate, which was still down. As I walked up to the gate it began to go up, as did the first floor gate. I walked in and looked down, and saw the people starting to shuffle in on the first floor. I walked back to the electronics department, which was on the second floor, and immediately saw a stack of the same model phones for sale at Best Buy, and they were $5 cheaper than the Best Buy advertised price. I picked one up, paid for it at the electronics register, as the first of the crowd began stumbling up the stairs and escalator to the upper level. Not being able to resist, I went down the escalator in the store, rather than go back out the second floor entrance, and made my way past the people who were still filing in the first floor entrance. I really enjoyed the amazed looks on some of the faces as I passed them with my bag in hand.

Underestimation

I have joined the ranks of the ordinary,
part of the quaking, huddled masses,
trembling in the corner,
waiting for the next handout,
wondering if the axe is about to fall,
slowly melting into the mounting oblivion,
silently wondering:
‘when does it begin?’
it’s not easy being underestimated,
it takes work,
it requires discipline,
a constant, conscious act of self-deprivation
and denial,
but it’s worth the effort,
just to watch the amazement
on their smug, simple faces,
when you blow by them like they are
standing still.
.

.

Walking Through The Valley

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.   Psalm 23:1-6
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.   Ephesians 6:12
once again,
I enter this dark place,
this cold, empty, deserted place,
this place from which most
never return,
my enemies wait outside,
gloating over the misery,
laughing within at the naivety,
mocking from afar,
standing firm in their ‘moral’
and ‘intellectual’ superiority,
waiting for the fall;
once again,
You stand by my side,
letting me know You
will always be there,
helping me to rise when
so many others would not,
softly reminding me that
I never have anything to fear;
“Don’t be afraid, just believe”
once again,
You prepare me for
a battle most will
never see,
in a war that
rages continuously,
around everyone
and everything,
rescuing me from places
which no man could overcome;
teaching me that through You
I can do all things.
.

.

Everything

O mighty Lord,
help me let go of all I have known,
give me discernment over all that I see,
purge anything that is not of You;
let me lay down this sinful robe
worn from birth,
let me walk in Your shining brilliance,
let me live by the sound of Your
wondrous voice,
let Your holy commands be engraved
in my heart,
let me be a son in which a father
may be proud;
let me be like You O Lord;
give me courage to withstand
the onslaught when my enemies
shamefully use me,
let me bring glory to Your name,
let my lips speak only of Your praise,
let my life be a living testament
to You O Lord;
for You alone are worthy;
I long for Your presence,
I delight in Your will,
I live for Your fellowship,
I find my comfort and hope in You;
You are my King,
You are my Truth,
You are my Light,
You are my Way;
You are my Everything.
.

.

Thanksgiving

thank you my precious Lord;
for the blowing wind,
for the swaying trees,
for the nighttime moon,
for the morning sun,
for this precious gift of life;
for every breath;
thank you for Your word,
for Your mercy and grace,
for the gift of Your Holy Spirit,
for the sacrifice
of Your only begotten Son;
thank you for Your truth and light
amidst the darkness and lies,
for Your precious love
when there is no love to be found;
thank you for this peace
You have placed in my heart,
for restoring all that was lost,
for allowing me to be
a son of the Living God;
let every voice sing praise unto You,
let every knee bow down
before Your glorious presence;
praise Your magnificent creation,
praise Your mighty name,
praise You forever and ever.
.

.

Jungle Law

“How long before the pizza gets here?” she asked,
“45 minutes to an hour” I replied,
“Damn! That’s a long time, I’m hungry!”
“What are we gonna do until then?”
“We could have sex” I said,
“What else are you gonna do in Cleveland
in the middle of winter?”
“Ha ha, very funny”;
so we watched TV instead;
I guess that’s the way it is when you get older,
there was a time when it wasn’t so,
but times have changed,
rules are being re-written,
everything is out the window,
take the news for example,
once we were the good guys,
we talked about justice and fair play,
now it’s kill or be killed,
do it to them before they do it to us,
the ends justify the means,
anything goes in the name of national welfare,
only the strong survive,
jungle law in a world of dog eat dog;
I suppose desperate times demand that;
there is a knock on the door,
it’s the pizza guy,
I return to the bed triumphantly,
bringing home a freshly killed
pepperoni and sausage pizza,
survival in the brutal jungle,
feeling just like Tarzan;
“Me want woman” I say proudly,
“You’re so damn strange” she laughs,
“Feed me and you can have anything you like”,
smiling I think to myself;
maybe things haven’t changed that much.
.

.

nun

I seek you out
like a beast in heat,
blindly,
passionately;
without question;
the smell,
the intoxication,
the mysterious excitement,
driving me to madness,
basic instincts
more powerful
than society,
more overwhelming
than reason,
more satisfying
than life,
sweeter
than the sweetest
night;
come,
sit with me,
let me whisper
in your ear,
alone
in our bedtime chamber,
before the burning fire,
glowing with the heat
of a million naked souls,
lay your tired head
upon my breast,
I will soothe
and make you forget,
taking you
to new and unseen worlds,
where together
we shall rule;
all that moves,
all that feels,
all that loves.
.

.

Thank you

reach deep,
search for tired, empty answers
hidden by dreams of mist,
imprisoned by bars of
golden madness,
darkness,
looking beyond the night,
deeper,
crawling into the past
to escape the future,
running from nameless faces
and silent voices;
with a soft sigh
it died,
never to return,
never to feel again,
unnoticed,
unattended,
in the end
there just wasn't
enough room,
choices made,
irreversible,
unrecoverable,
dark highways traveled
on imaginary steeds
in strange forgotten lands;
who are we to say?
who are we to know?
perhaps it is just as well,
secrets were never destined
to stand out
in the morning light;
thank you
for the time
you have given me.
.

.

Pushbuttons

sports, sex and food,
those are about the only things in life
that have ever really interested me,
and I've only been good
at two of those,
well okay,
I used to be good at two,
now,
I only do one well;
technology?
bores the shit out of me,
and on top of that
I don’t really understand it,
yet somehow,
here I am,
a highly trained technician,
in a highly technical field,
pushing buttons,
watching red and green lights
go on and off,
thinking about the leftover steak
in the refrigerator,
and the secretary with the nice ass,
or how my daughter can
improve her basketball game;
sometimes I imagine life
living in a stone cottage,
overlooking the ocean
on the western coast of Ireland,
writing whatever comes to mind
all day long,
then walking into the village at night
to drink a few pints
and tell a few lies,
stumbling home to crawl in bed
with a good woman,
big and soft,
who moves with passion,
moaning out of control;
and keeps the house clean;
excuse me,
I gotta push a button.
.

.

etc.

growing up,
I never wanted the
normal things,
money, good job, family, etc.,
my vision was always a stage,
playing rock and roll music
in front of huge cheering crowds,
with everyone who never believed (in me),
who never thought I’d be much of anything,
old girl friends, parents, teachers, etc.,
sitting in the front row;
realizing just how wrong
they had been;
it was this vision
that made me play so hard
in sports,
even though I could have
cared less about winning
or losing,
it was the roar of a crowd
during a touchdown run,
or game winning hit
that I lived for,
and even though I talked about
all the other things,
teamwork, hustle, hard work, etc.,
it was all bullshit,
it was never about anything
but adulation;
and payback;
my life was a lie then,
just as it is today,
as I go to my dead end job,
pretending to be a good husband,
father, co-worker, etc.,
talking about right and wrong,
morality, beliefs, etc.,
telling my daughter about teamwork,
hustle, hard work, etc.,
when inside I’m still standing
on that stage,
looking down on thousands
of screaming, adoring fans,
old girlfriends, parents, teachers, etc.,
screaming into the microphone;
“see!”
“you were wrong
all the time!”
.
.

Warning Labels

Some people should come with warning labels,
something like:

WARNING
This person appears to know what they are talking about,
when the truth is they don’t have a clue.
Extreme caution should be used when listening to anything
they have to say.

Or

WARNING
This person is anal retentive and argumentative.
When making observations or comments expect to become
involved in heated, often combative arguments,
regardless of what the subject matter may be.
.

.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Tales From Cowboy Billy

Tales From Cowboy Billy

let it begin today,
so many years spent waiting,
so many words left wasted,
like road kill lying
black and bloated,
alongside forgotten highways;
the time is near,
can you not feel it?
running across these open plains,
calling out,
screaming to be free,
limitless,
boundless,
no more locked doors;
no more empty rooms;
bright, light, urbane young pretenders,
searching for inside information,
from which there is no shelter,
while the curtain goes up,
revealing the hidden disease
that has haunted this town
from the beginning of time;
the dream walker enters,
back from a journey
which has no beginning,
and for which there is no end,
carrying secrets long since gone,
where the innocent hide,
deep inside,
safe and warm,
free from mind boggling death
and other insidious pieces
of shit;
meanwhile,
Cowboy Billy
rides on.

Cowboy Billy’s Still Riding

I sought you out,
but you were nowhere
to be found,
I cried out for your truth,
but darkness became my
only friend,
so it was that I realized
this door had closed
forever,
there is no return
after passing this way;
there is only tomorrow;
dreams do not die,
they remain with or without
the underlying madness
of a new day,
it is here we meet once again,
for better or worse,
till death do us part,
and all that jazz;
what road is this
that we ride upon?
full of angelic mysteries
for which there is no answer,
no mission big enough,
twisted and turning,
going down one-way streets
with the natives screaming
to turn around
before it is too late,
stirring like hideous new creatures
of the night,
lurking inside empty caves,
waiting for fresh new
flesh fantasies;
meanwhile,
Cowboy Billy
still rides on.

Cowboy Billy to the Rescue

in the morning,
before these poisons build up,
I can still hear it
talking away,
as if I never stopped listening,
Sundays,
always leave me wondering,
if I can’t be a good Christian;
can I at least be a good catholic;
calmness,
always precedes the emptiness,
as good ole boys stand around,
talking about the good ole days,
while never mentioning the past,
so here we are,
alone and wandering,
without a clue,
faces that smile back
inside this capital offense;
oh yes,
use me like a
lightning rod,
help me absorb
this incredible energy
with no thought
of a better tomorrow,
no fear of a forgotten memory
or other sordid fairy tales;
just then,
Cowboy Billy
came crashing in
with six guns blazing.

Betwixt and Between (Fuck Cowboy Billy)

I have been to these edges,
I know the subtle differences
of the middle ground,
in this place somewhere
betwixt and between,
where eventually
everything is lost;
I watch
as others pass by,
on their way to
here or there,
never taking the time
to look around these
wide open spaces,
where so many things
lie wasted and abused,
hiding from the truth,
running from the final destination;
and it is getting harder
to get back to here,
when I know
that I will never reach
there;
fuck Cowboy Billy.

Sacred Imposters

these things are not for everyone,
most cannot handle
the imperfections or misconceptions
of it all;
still,
we must be kind;
in the cool autumn sky
the answers live,
this was never about truth,
this was never about right or wrong,
this was never about black or white,
this was never about anything at all,
it was only the sound
of a soft white light,
on its silent journey
from a distant tower,
in the middle of the
cold black night;
down in faery land
they are dancing still,
carrying on,
drunken and out of control,
isn’t it grand?
see how they scatter
as the eighty foot pole
comes crashing to the ground,
aye boys,
that was a close one for sure;
oh sacred imposters,
do not strive to belong,
find that
for which there is no reply;
Cowboy Billy’s
not going to take this
lying down.

Cowboy Billy Has His Revenge

into the crimson night
goes the dawn,
never to return or
be seen again,
this then is the day,
this then is the time
for which we have
sold our lives,
however miserable
they may be,
was there ever any doubt
it would come down to this,
so full of pompous desires and
bliss ridden fuck-dreams;
it has only just begun;
even now,
the reality remains
hard to accept
among these flame-ridden ships,
sinking slowly out of sight
into the darkness
of silent ocean depths,
gasping for just one
more breath;
Cowboy Billy,
at last,
has his revenge.

Goodbye Cowboy Billy

so it would be,
without a whimper or a whine,
asking no forgiveness,
facing the fury
with nary a thought of retreat,
going slowly and completely
into the unknown tempest,
guns blazing,
a fighter
till the very end,
taking a hundred, no,
a thousand of the bastards
with him;
goodbye
Cowboy Billy;
you shall be missed.
.

.

could've, would've, should've

if I only could…
.
.
.
I would,
.
.
.
if you only could…
.
.
.
you would,
.
.
.
if we only could…
.
.
.
we would.
.
.

Friday, November 22, 2013

JFK

They are all gone now,
along with all the noble causes
and high ideals,
everything neatly tucked
out of sight,
like old bones hidden away
in a deep dark cellar,
where no one looks too hard
or asks too many questions,
out of fear they might find answers,
in the final analysis,
it was never a question of
wrong or right,
or truth, justice and
the American way,
it was really just a matter of;
who really cares?
and in the end,
nobody really did,
just like they knew
nobody would,
because truth and justice,
never put food on a table,
or clothes on a back,
noble causes and high ideals
may make for fine discussion
at dinner parties and social functions,
but they have never paid
an electric bill,
starvation does not know
right or wrong,
it only knows life or death,
and as time goes by,
this is the only truth that matters;
30 years ago on a bright November day,
in a time when people still believed
what they were told,
when innocence was a luxury
many could still afford,
he threatened to take away
the status quo,
which wasn’t good for business,
so they blew his brains out
on a cold Dallas street;
killing so much more than a man
in the process.
.

.

Every Tear

Then one of the elders asked me, “These in white robes—who are they, and where did they come from?” I answered, “Sir, you know.” And he said, “These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. Therefore, “they are before the throne of God and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will shelter them with his presence.Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat down on them,’ nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; ‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’ ‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’”   Revelation 7:13-17
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”   Revelation 21:3-4

imagine if you can,
a world where everything
is as it should be,
as it was meant to be;
no darkness,
no evil,
no fear,
no doubt,
no suffering,
no pain,
no greed,
no lust,
no jealousy,
no envy,
no sadness
no anger;
only love;
easy to speak about,
much harder to truly see,
in a world ruled by flesh and lust,
where everything is about
satisfying fleshly desires,
where self-indulgence and
carnal pleasure dominate,
with fear controlling every
thought and action,
trying to imagine such a world
is almost beyond normal
human comprehension;
but try anyway;
this is the world which was
in the beginning,
the world which shall be restored,
the kingdom that is to come,
where the only One who lived
the perfect life,
will sit on His throne and
rule with justice,
protecting all who believe in,
and belong to Him;
where hunger and thirst will no longer exist,
where the sun shall not beat nor heat scorch,
where the Lamb shall be their shepherd,
leading them to springs of living water;
where every tear shall be wiped away
forever.
.

.

The Time Draws Near

lost in the darkness,
I lie awake,
tossing and turning,
frightened and confused,
unsure of the thoughts and emotions,
unable to understand or comprehend
as this dying body of flesh
slowly grows weary and fails,
betrayed by the instincts and hungers
required for survival,
destroyed by the intoxicating poisons
it so desperately craves;
the time draws near,
the day is at hand,
soon the morning sun will dawn,
all things shall be revealed;
the light of Your glorious presence
grows brighter,
the power of Your touch
strengthens and renews,
everything changes,
everything fades;
You are all I need,
You are all there is;
lead me through this wilderness,
let Your righteousness be my guide,
let Your glory shine for all to see,
let Your holy will be done,
allow me to serve You all my days,
for in You I shall find my deliverance,
in You I shall rise from the dark,
through You I shall overcome;
You who are my Lord,
You who are my King,
You who are my Everything.
.

.

The Face of True Evil

And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants also masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.   2 Corinthians 11:14-15
‘Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man of wealth and taste, I've been around for a long, long year, stole many a man’s soul and faith,’ – Rolling Stones, Sympathy for the Devil
true evil has no face,
it shifts and moves,
swaying back and forth,
like grains of desert sand
in a gently blowing wind,
quietly infiltrating its way
into minds and souls,
entering high and mighty places,
enticing and alluring;
irresistible;
it is the ultimate chameleon,
making changes so subtle they
are barely perceptible,
deceiving in the name of innocence,
taking shape without worry or care,
disappearing like magic into
the thin night air;
yes,
true evil has no face,
it goes by many names;
eminent domain,
manifest destiny,
god and country,
true religion,
the chosen race,
national pride,
the final solution,
genocide;
to name a few;
and when it has
come and gone,
only a few even realize
it has passed their way
at all.
.

.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Walking Through The Valley

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.   Psalm 23:1-6
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.   Ephesians 6:12
once again,
I enter this dark place,
this cold, empty, deserted place,
this place from which most
never return,
my enemies wait outside,
gloating over the misery,
laughing within at the naivety,
mocking from afar,
standing firm in their ‘moral’
and ‘intellectual’ superiority,
waiting for the fall;
once again,
You stand by my side,
letting me know You
will always be there,
helping me to rise when
so many others would not,
softly reminding me that
I never have anything to fear;
“Don’t be afraid, just believe”
once again,
You prepare me for
a battle most will
never see,
in a war that
rages continuously,
around everyone
and everything,
rescuing me from places
which no man could overcome,
teaching me that through You
I can do all things.
.

.

Friday, November 15, 2013

In The Early Morning Silence

In the early morning silence,
You quietly arrive,
washing over me
like a warm ocean wave,
humbling my haughty spirit,
cleansing my filth ridden soul,
removing the darkness and dread,
renewing the faltering strength,
letting me know that I am Yours,
and You are mine;
forever;
praise Your precious name,
never leave me alone,
stay with me throughout
the cold, black night,
save me from the darkness
waiting outside,
protect me from unseen
traps and snares,
for I am just the branch
and You are the vine,
You are the one who provides life,
You are the perfect prize
waiting at the end
of this long and winding road,
without You I am so lost,
without You I can do nothing;
with You all things are possible,
with You I can do all things;
fill me with Your Holy Fire,
descend upon my head
like a powerful rushing wind,
let me shine
like a great and wondrous light,
burning for all the world to see,
guide my faltering feet,
lead me where You would
have me go,
use me for Your righteous will,
remake me in Your
beautiful and holy image;
bring me home to You.
.

.

Memories of a Warrior

late Friday afternoons,
spent lying on wooden gym floors,
whispering silent prayers of desperation
among the dark and empty shadows,
it was there
I heard your voice,
it was there I felt alive,
it was there we talked;
it was there I understood;
then one bright summer day,
I walked away,
afraid of that which
you asked me to be,
trying to run from this
raw burning power inside;
I hear you still;
I see you among the
children of today,
I watched you grow within her,
I saw you take her over,
and I knew what it was
she felt inside;
please don’t leave her.
.

.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Down The Road Where You Lead

Amidst the lost and lonely emptiness
of this long cold night,
I search for Your wonderful presence,
throughout the constant
bombardment and battering
of the enemies cruel and
vicious attacks,
I cry out for You;
O Lord,
be real within my mind and heart,
do not be distant and far away,
reach out Your mighty hand,
bring forth Your glorious
mercy and grace,
show Your servant blessed favor;
silence the careless words
of anger and hurt,
rolling off my venomous tongue,
remove the thoughts of evil and lust
clouding my flesh-driven mind,
pull me from this iniquity and filth
I find myself drowning in;
I can’t make it any other way,
I have tried so many times before;
I have searched for so very long,
I have walked in darkness all my life;
You are the only answer,
You are the only truth,
You are the only light,
You are the only way;
save me Lord,
heal my broken spirit,
shelter me from the
gathering storm,
guide my every step,
fill me with Your perfect love,
teach me Your righteous
and holy ways;
remove anything
not of You;
I will travel
down the road where
You lead,
Yours is the face
I will seek,
for all of my days.
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Romans 12:21

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.   Ephesians 6:11-12
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.   Romans 12:21
In the depths of my carnal mind,
the master of darkness softly speaks,
quietly searching for weakness and flaws,
silently planting his evil seeds;
seeds of lust and temptation,
seeds of doubt and fear,
seeds of hatred and anger,
seeds of revenge and retribution;
corrupting and twisting the truth,
clouding all that is real,
tearing down and destroying
until there is nothing left within,
building walls and divisions
between my brother and I,
putting words of venomous hate
on the tip of my imperfect tongue,
attempting to devastate and waste
all that is good,
all that is pure,
all that is holy and righteous;
all that is from God;
You patiently discipline and rebuke,
until at last I am able to understand,
providing the light for my blinded eyes
while gently holding my trembling hand,
guiding my feeble and wavering steps,
as I slowly learn to stand;
raise me up above the filth and mire,
hold me in Your mighty arms,
remove the darkness surrounding my soul;
teach me to not be overcome by evil,
but to overcome evil with good.
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Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Bon Jour

Bon Jour France

All I Ever Need

change my heart O Lord,
remove the darkness lurking within,
take away this lonely emptiness,
save me as only You can;
I know the inadequacies,
I feel the uncertainty and doubt,
I try to hide the incompetence,
I hear the rage scream and shout;
inside I am as dry bones,
my voice broken and unheard,
my skin burns with unquenchable fire,
my spirit longs for Your Holy word;
open my eyes O Lord,
reach out Your mighty hand,
remove the temptations of this flesh,
help my carnal mind understand;
allow me to overcome
all which keeps us apart,
deliver me from evil,
purify my wounded heart;
heal my broken soul,
cleanse my every thought,
sanctify every motive,
by Your precious blood have
I been bought;
fill me with Your love,
walk with me for all my days,
teach me Your discipline
show me Your righteous ways;
You are where I want to be,
Yours is the voice I long to hear,
Your love is all I need,
with You I will not worry or fear;
without You I am nothing,
with You I have all I will ever need,
You are my Savior and King,
through You I have been forever freed.
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The True Vine

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”   John 15:1-5
You are the vine,
I am the branch,
apart from You
I am nothing,
within You
I become fruitful;
within You
I am a son of
the living God;
Your light is greater
than words can express,
Your love fills
even the deepest valley,
Your words speak truth
far beyond what my
limited mind
can comprehend;
hold on to me
forever.
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Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Commodities

There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.   Luke 12:2-3
All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.   James 3:7-8 

Pride blinds the eyes
of those it fills,
creating illusions and deceptions,
turning brother against brother,
sister against sister,
breaking friendships and bonds,
destroying everything in its path;
words spoken in the darkness
find their way into the light;
you use people like
commodities,
something to hold on too
when they are useful
and serve a purpose,
something to toss out
when the usefulness is gone;
like the morning trash;
we are all filthy rags,
we have all fallen short,
eventually we all fail,
no matter how many
positive thoughts we fill
our minds with,
no matter what fantasies
we choose to live in,
no matter how much knowledge
we think we know,
no matter what bold words
our tongues spew forth;
in the end
truth is all that survives.
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Monday, November 11, 2013

Siege

Outside this worn and battered fortress,
the enemy patiently waits,
laying siege to these crumbling walls,
setting hidden traps and snares,
offering enticing lures and baits,
silently probing and testing,
continuously searching for
weakness and flaws;
preparing for the final assault;
within the darkness
I seek Your face,
through the long lost night
I wait for Your presence;
rise up O mighty Lord,
defend me from unknown enemies,
free me from unseen prison bars,
fill me with Your holy fire,
bathe me in Your glorious light,
overwhelm me with Your holy spirit;
You are all that I desire,
You are all that I need;
You are the center of my hope,
You are the answer to every question;
You are all there is;
in You shall I find relief,
through You shall I overcome,
in You shall I have victory,
through You shall I be delivered;
stay with me forever,
strengthen my weakening defenses,
prepare my heart for the coming battle,
let me be triumphant in the face of defeat;
bring me home to You.
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On Patrol

time no longer matters
in this land of no return,
where control of existence
is power;
even among the least of men;
if you listen
you can hear the thunder
of the demons beating heart,
crying out in agony
for a chance to unleash
its deadly putrid vile;
dreams fill the void,
crossing bridges of despair
over chasms of life,
goddess of the night,
come warm your icy soul
from the heat of lust,
generated by a thousand
beastly cries;
once there was honor,
now there is darkness,
cold, hard, empty,
power with no reason
other than power,
death with no meaning
other than death;
angels of light
mourn for lost lovers,
impaled by their existence
to gods who cannot hear,
sleep comes slow
for those who lay and wait
in their coffins of pain,
as silence stalks its prey,
seeking to devour
its just rewards,
waiting for a dawn
that never comes,
cast down
into pits of emptiness,
where cold hard reality lurks,
as eagles burst into flames,
and die screaming
their last goodbyes.
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The Prize

In the silent darkness,
winter stiffness takes hold,
as yesterday’s warmth gives way
to tomorrow’s cold;
the mist of time
shrouds itself
with a veil
of unseen sorrow,
as mighty gentle giants
throw stones
at posterity,
crumbling it to the ground
to make room
for another concrete
monument,
the children listen
to the voice
of their colored god,
and it tells them
who they are,
and where they are going,
and how to get there,
and why it must be so;
and it helps them forget;
seven hundred feet below,
the end quietly waits
in a world all its own;
just like the prize
in a cracker jacks box.
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Battle Stations

down here,
in the ice cold deep,
we play a game
which is supposed to be
deadly serious,
but which nobody takes
too seriously,
otherwise,
it could be deadly,
so we compromise,
and try to sleep it off,
but some still insist
on playing the game,
so we play,
and most of the time
we lose,
not that we really lose,
otherwise
we’d all be lost,
and then
there would be nobody
to play the game,
and the game
has to be played,
otherwise
it wouldn't be a game,
it would be real,
and politicians would panic,
pressing little red buttons
out of fear of losing
something which only they
have to fear losing,
because everyone else
has nothing to lose;
oh alright!
I’ll wake-up!
Yes, I’ll play the game today,
hold on to your poopie suit,
but I won’t play much longer,
so use me while you can,
because soon
I’ll be using you
to play the game
for me,
so I can sleep at night
and not dream
about little red buttons;
will somebody
please cut out
that annoying,
snickering alarm.
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Saturday, November 9, 2013

Deliver Me

within nighttime dreams,
I walk in cold, forsaken places,
dark, dead lost places;
far beyond the reach of hope;
I listen to the suffering,
I hear the sorrow,
I feel the pain,
I know the emptiness;
they are places through which
I have walked before;
when I awake,
You are there,
standing by my side,
never letting go,
never walking away,
renewing and healing me,
blessing me when I deserve nothing,
forgiving me
when I cannot forgive myself,
reminding me that without You
I can never overcome;
deliver me Lord,
from dark, dead places,
lost and forgotten places,
hidden within the shadows of dreams;
take away the emptiness
as only You can;
hold me now,
bathe me in Your light,
fill me with Your love,
surround me with Your glory,
let me belong to You forever;
my Savior,
my King,
my God,
my Everything.
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