Know One Knows/now I know

...................................

No One Knows

Everyone walks and talks
like they know what’s going on,
like they discovered the answers
long ago;

it took me many years
to figure out,
that no one knows
what’s going on,
that it’s all just
one big act;

all the well tanned,
perfect haircut,
confident looking,
smug faced cock-suckers,
don’t have any more answers
than some junkie
lying out cold
in a stinking alleyway,
and perhaps
they have even less,
or they might be lying
in that alleyway also;

still;

we have to go on pretending,
otherwise
there’s just no point,
so we get our hair cut,
we get up and go to our jobs,
we smile and try to look unconcerned,
all the time fighting the fear
building in our guts,
all the time thinking;

everyone knows
but us.
____________________

now I know

now I know,
why junkies stick needles
in their arms
and lie dying
in back street alleys.

now I know,
why death comes
before the body
actually dies.

now I know
what Christ felt.

now I know,
where people go
when there is
nothing left.

now I know,
just how black
the darkness of the night
can be.

now I know,
just how deep
the bottom
really is.

now I know,
and the needle,
and the powder,
and the shots of whiskey,
and death,
only make it

legitimate.

now I know;

and have lived
to tell about it.
.
.