Nothing At All

once more slipping into the fantasy,

once more drifting on the motionless sea,

searching barren skies,

waiting for the call,

holding on to nothing,

nothing at all;

waiting for dreams that never mattered,

trying not to puke,

trying not to fall,

trying not to break down,

trying not to fail;

please see that I am trying,

please understand

that this is not the life I want,

change does not come easy,

it rips and tears,

it claws and chews,

biting and scratching

through mountains of unrehearsed flesh;

inside we are all the same,

cold, scared and frightened,

running from darkness,

becoming entangled

in unforeseen webs,

trying to escape from situations and

circumstances beyond our control;

in this fantasy

everything is dead,

everything is cold,

no future, no hope, no dreams,

nothing at all;

please take me home now,

I am ready to go,

I have tried so hard to be what

You wanted me to be,

please take me home now.

.

.