Friday, February 12, 2016

regret




















I try to sleep, but cannot,
I think of you, I think of your strength,
I think of your big city toughness;
and I only love you
more;
I think of a moment, when I
held you in my arms,
your arms around my waist,
remarking about what a strong little
shit you are, your laughter,
looking down into your eyes,
how I should have kissed you
right then and there,
told you I loved you,
carried you into bed,
made you mine,
but did not;
it is one of the biggest regrets
of my life;
later, feeling stronger,
I come to the painful
realization,
that holding on to
memories, and things
I will never control,
is doing neither you,
nor I, any good;
life goes on,
it always has,
it always will;
I have to let go;
once again,
I hold on to the one
who has carried me
through, time after time,
more than she will ever know,
more than she ever should know,
she deserves better,
but this is the best I can do,
she has known enough pain
for one lifetime,
unable to grow,
forever trapped in time,
by the monster who stole so much,
holding on to her naivety;
I will protect her with my last
breath, even if I must protect her from
myself;
perhaps some things really are
better left unsaid,
but sometimes we say them
anyway;
and for this,
there are no regrets.
.

.

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