Waiting (unedited)

I am waiting;

searching for truth,

reading the words of fools,

listening to the voices

of liars and thieves;

I see their agendas,

I expose their hypocrisy,

I understand their fears;

there is no love,

there is no pity,

there is only judgment,

there is only condemnation;

and still,

I wait;

one more day,

one more minute,

one more breath,

passing by unnoticed,

unknown,

unheard;

clarity has no meaning,

in this land gone mad,

insanity replaces greed

when there is nothing left,

truth does not

give up her secrets

without a fight;

we have consumed

all there is,

we have taken

until there is nothing

more to take,

we have stolen our

children’s legacy,

we have sold

our grandchildren

to the highest bidder;

it is easy

to become part of the problem,

when there is no solution,

easy to let go,

when there is nothing

left on which to hang;

I live in a world

begging for redemption,

I live in a world

searching for truth,

I live in a world

dying in its own filth,

destroyed by its own wisdom,

caught up

in its own righteousness,

floating on its own

fantasy,

I live in a world,

blinded by its own

darkness,

afraid of its own fear;

look deep,

see that which no one sees,

reach out,

touch the night,

be one with the blackness;

I have survived so many setbacks,

I have moved past

the letdowns and disappointments,

what’s one more?

eventually nothing matters,

nothing is real,

it is all a fake,

it is all just another

days work,

nothing matters,

not me,

not you,

not today,

not tomorrow,

not the day,

not the night;

nothing;

fuck all the little

piss ants everywhere,

they can take their shit

and stick it up

their lily white,

red-neck,

bullshit,

one-way,

asses;

hey,

he said fuck,

he said shit,

he is crude,

he is pathetic,

he is exciting,

he is dynamic,

he is a poet,

he is an artist,

he is shit,

he is a sad

little piece of nothing;

I am waiting;

now I write for me,

not for you,

not for others,

not for popularity,

not for approval,

just me,

life’s little dramas

play out,

going round and round,

falling down,

sinking out of sight,

forever gone;

words are never enough,

thoughts can go far,

when left to their own devices;

does anyone listen?

does anyone care?

once again,

I go into the darkness,

where madness rules,

and hope lies still,

facing the night,

waiting for the dawn,

trying to survive the fear,

searching for the light;

does anyone listen?

does anyone care?

You are all there is,

You are more than enough,

You alone hold the keys,

You are all I need,

help me now,

hear my empty cry,

save me from the enemy

waiting just outside,

when the words won’t come,

it gets hard,

down here,

in this lonely land of the dead,

where everything

is not what it seems,

as faces come and go,

and the truth lies hidden

among the lost and fallen;

for the first time,

it feels like the end.

.

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