In The End

Jesus looked directly at them and asked, “Then what is the meaning of that which is written: ‘The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone’? Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed.”  Luke 20:17-18

“What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”   Mark 8:36-37

Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”   Mark 5:36

when I was 18,

I was the real deal,

the high school, jock, superstar,

the golden boy

with the golden touch,

class president,

everything to everyone;

it was an image,

I spent most of my adolescent years

perfecting;

I could have married the hometown girl,

bought a house in my parents neighborhood,

spent the next 30 or 40 years making

a comfortable living,

gathering after work at the local bar

with all the other hometown boys,

living off old press clippings

and exaggerated sexual conquests,

collecting interest on Friday night touchdowns

and Saturday morning hangovers,

instead I did everything I could

to kill who and what I was;

I wandered,

I searched,

I smoked,

I drank,

I snorted,

I embarrassed,

I lied,

I deceived;

I failed;

I burned every bridge,

I slept with whores,

I broke man-made laws

and spiritual taboos,

I sinned against man,

I sinned against God;

I did everything possible

to commit personality suicide;

but in the end,

I was still here,

stuck in the same skin,

unable to escape,

unable to change,

unable to be anything

but what I was,

trapped by the truth

living inside;

in the end,

I became exactly

what I was destined to be,

and You were still there;

knocking,

watching,

waiting;

in the end,

You put Your arms around me,

quietly whispering:

“Don’t be afraid, just believe”;

forgiving the suffering,

forgiving the humiliation,

forgiving the beatings,

forgiving the pain,

forgiving the isolation,

forgiving the torture,

endured by You,

for the evil committed by me;

in the end,

You forgave the sins

of a world not worthy

to kiss the dust beneath

Your feet;

in the end,

You shined Your light before me,

and my eyes were blind no more;

in the end,

I will stand before the throne

of Your glory,

and the joy shall be

forever.

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