massacre

“in the end” I told her,

“I will be the biggest loser

of them all,

this is something

I have known

all my life;”

but it is okay,

it truly is,

I know who I am,

I have always known,

I just did not want

anybody else

to know,

there has always been

a barstool,

in a dimly lit,

hole in the wall,

with my name on it;

I was born

to be alone,

it is in my blood;

it is who I am;

“there are places

inside of me,”

I told her,

“that are so dark,

so alone,

that no one

can even imagine

what they are like;

places that scare

even me;

places where words

only scratch

the surface;”

I only have one purpose

in this life,

and that is

to be ready;

for the feel,

for the words,

for the voice,

for the muse,

whenever it passes

my way;

everything else

is just

passing time;

everything else

is just a dream;

a life

for everyone

but me;

my only regret

has been

sucking others

into the massacre

with me;

they never

stood a

chance.

.

.