Any Less

it’s easy to love Jesus,

when you drive a brand new F-350 diesel,

while vacationing for the winter in Gulf Shores, Alabama

in your 100 thousand dollar RV,

taking charter bus trips to Biloxi,

for a night at the casinos;

easy, when you live in middle-class America,

surrounded by all your healthy, happy children,

and your plump, giggling grandchildren,

your body free from pain,

not twisted and grotesque from cancer,

because you have health insurance and can afford

the best medical treatment available,

with all the specialists and tests

money can buy;

yes, it is easy then;

not so easy,

when you go through life,

worrying about every minute,

worrying about feeding your children,

worrying about providing a shelter over their heads,

worrying about the lump growing on your child’s arm,

because you have no health insurance to get it tested,

praying for the strength to get through one more day,

as you go to your minimum wage job,

where America’s elite treat you like a hired servant,

because they have money and drive diesel powered F-350s,

with ‘I Love Jesus’ on the front license plate;

and you don’t;

some day we will all be the same,

standing before a holy and righteous God,

I wonder how they will answer then,

when they see themselves,

speaking with derision and disgust,

at the person taking their deli order,

because their cheese was sliced

a millimeter thicker than requested,

or because they had to wait

more than 5 minutes in line,

I wonder who will be blessed then,

I wonder if their diesel powered F-350s,

with the ‘I Love Jesus’ front license plates

will mean anything then;

then He speaks to me;

reminding me that He walked this

earth with nothing,

despite being the King to whom

everything belongs,

that He endured humiliation and torment,

without ever once complaining or hating,

that even though He was the greatest,

He became the servant of many,

laying down his life for all,

paying a cost only He could pay,

doing the will of the Father,

despite the suffering and pain,

giving us the example that should be followed,

proving that He loves us all,

unconditionally and without favor,

even those who drive brand new F-350s

with ‘I Love Jesus’ front license plates;

and He asks me,

“Is the servant greater than the master?”

making me quietly think to myself;

should I do any less?

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everyday

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”   Matthew 6:25-27

“Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.”   Matthew 10:39

That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.   John 3:15-16

And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.   John 6:35

some hold on a little

longer,

some a little less,

eventually,

the sun does set

on us all,

in the end we

become equal,

as cruel as this

might seem,

at least it is

unconditional and

without favor;

God is no respecter

of persons;

I think about all the

missed opportunities,

all the special individuals,

all the moments which

slipped through my fingers,

the chances to tell them

how very unique they were,

how much I loved them,

but the time came and went;

now they are gone;

everyday I wait for freedom,

everyday I hang on for tomorrow,

everyday I fight the battle,

everyday I lose the war;

life is not about happiness and joy,

life is not about self-discovery,

life is not about self-satisfaction, or

self-motivation, or any kind of self

at all;

life is about love

and forgiveness,

life is about doing unto others

as you would have them

do unto you,

life is about coming to the

realization that we all have

fallen short,

that none of us are going

to escape on our own,

life is about loving God

with all your mind and

heart;

everyday I wait for freedom,

everyday I hang on for tomorrow,

everyday I fight the battle,

everyday I lose the war.

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unresolved

the rain comes down,

I am inert;

helpless,

hopeless,

immobile;

stuffed like a thanksgiving

turkey,

boiling in juices not

of my own,

fed from dishes

better left unserved;

a fool for the taking;

you left me here

to rot,

never looking back

on your way out

the door,

you took everything

there was,

you took more than

I had to give;

you still do,

you always will;

soon enough it

will pass,

soon enough,

what once was

will be no more,

washed away

by flowing rivers

of unrelenting rain,

all that was,

all that never was,

all that could have been,

all that never will be;

lying at your doorstep,

empty at last.

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Hiding Within Plain Sight

they have become mesmerized

with the violence,

conditioned by the lies;

without feeling,

without joy;

without soul;

I remain silent,

because that is what

I choose;

words never mattered

anyway;

I could not save you;

you were too far gone,

too far along,

too far away;

from a dream

I reach for you,

but you’re not there,

I call out your name,

but you do not hear,

replacing one,

without the other,

such an impossible task;

even now,

I hear your voice,

even now,

I see you your face,

even now,

I taste your skin;

a new day dawns,

old memories fade;

no return,

no mercy,

no hanging on;

forgotten memories and

empty futures,

travel down lost

and lonesome paths,

on their way to hidden

valleys,

where even the sun

does not speak;

I am tired of giving

pearls to dogs,

wisdom to swine,

tired of voices that only

know how to speak,

but have never learned

how to listen;

your judgment makes you smaller,

your expressions and excuses,

nothing more than meaningless drivel,

dead-end streets,

you use the cracks and crevices of

distant shores like common

knowledge;

platitudes and artistic differences

only go so far,

sooner or later choices

must be made;

eventually it becomes real,

eventually it slips away;

everything you know,

everything you are,

everything you ever were;

just fading vapor,

dispersing with the wind;

the higher you go,

the farther you fall,

the faster you run,

the bigger the crash.

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Forever Nameless

I try to hold you forever,

I want to breathe you like air,

I burn your image in my mind,

never to forget, never letting go,

but it does no good, like all things, you fade,

like all things, you disappear,

nothing lasts, nothing remains,

soon, it never will be,

tomorrow all that matters,

yesterday dead and gone;

I am tired of being on the outside,

never here, never there,

just somewhere else,

seeing what others do not,

knowing what no one should,

shadows best left untouched,

trapped within,

lost upon endless seas,

the horizon looming up ahead,

with no land in sight.

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.

US

I am tired of writing words,

almost poems,

passing thoughts.

meaningless memories,

silent dreams,

forgotten love,

wasted time,

senseless jobs;

I want more;

I want inner realities,

mysterious creations,

forbidden planets,

hidden worlds,

passionate pleas;

I want art,

I want life;

I want to rip this body open,

expose all the guts,

all the filth,

lay it bare

on the stone cold floor

for all the world to see,

watch it run slowly

down the drain,

feel the emptiness float away;

I am sick of all the bullshit,

all the hypocrisy,

sometimes it is just too much to bear,

sometimes I want to grab it by the throat,

wring its little fucking neck,

sometimes it makes me

want to puke;

I want her,

I want us.

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Cruel Intentions

words do not come easy out here

where few have ever been,

as the emptiness takes all that there is,

then cries out for more,

but there is none to be found,

(not a fucking thing);

the darkness steals away the last evening light,

it silently seeks you out,

only to find you exactly where it last left you,

gently caressing your tear-soaked cheek,

softly whispering within your well trained ear;

‘just let it go’

instead, you join all the other crustaceans,

crawling among the waste and desolation,

your soul stripped clean to the core,

left to slowly die and rot

along the deserted wayside;

movement grows difficult,

among the faithless and scattered wreckage,

strewn loosely about deeply dug graves,

where a hundred million voices ask,

was it really all about this?

could it possibly be this simple?

there are many things

I once thought I would be,

but I never thought I would become

that which I became, and

in the end it made no difference,

because eventually,

no matter how far you travel,

you wind up where you began,

with the stark, basic understanding,

that this really is

the kindest and cruelest joke

of them all.

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