Nothing At All

once more, slipping into the fantasy,

once more, drifting on the motionless sea,

searching barren skies,

waiting for the call,

holding on to nothing;

nothing at all;

waiting for dreams that

never mattered,

trying not to puke,

trying not to fall,

trying not to break down,

trying not to fail;

please see that I am trying,

please understand that this

is not the life I want,

change does not come easy (for me),

it rips and tears,

it claws and chews,

biting and scratching through

mountains of unrehearsed flesh;

inside we are all the same,

inside we are all cold, scared

and frightened,

running from darkness,

becoming entangled

in unforeseen webs,

trying to escape from situations and

circumstances beyond our control;

in this fantasy

everything is dead,

everything is cold,

no future,

no hope,

no dreams;

nothing at all;

please take me home now,

I am ready to go,

I have tried so hard to be

what You wanted me to be,

please take me home now,

.

.