Never Been to Prison

Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.   Luke 12:6-7

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.   Ephesians 6:12

never been to prison,

but I feel like

I’ve been behind bars,

since the day I was born,

never seen the desert,

but I think I have been

planning the trip

all my life,

now my life

is almost over,

dried up

like an abandoned well,

a gentle mist,

a fog shrouded vapor,

see it fade,

see it change,

see it rearrange,

movement becomes hard,

pain a way of life,

everything is gone,

everything is different;

everything is new;

we reap what we sow,

and I have sown the seeds

of perversion,

wallowed in the ways of lust,

fulfilled the desires of the flesh,

reveled in the excesses,

partook of the debauchery,

delighted in the thrills,

lived for the moment,

searched for forbidden fruit;

I deserve nothing;

all my life,

I have lived in worlds of fantasy,

trapped by delusions and

non-existent details,

all my life,

I have flirted with madness

and disasters beyond

mere magnitudes of mortality,

I have searched for finality,

witnessed untold destruction,

forever knowing,

continually waiting,

for moments that came

and went like liquid glass;

the night belongs to those

who have nothing else;

sadness is an art,

known by only a few,

understood by none,

without beginning or end,

without mercy or compassion,

techniques and classifications

have no hold here,

no amount of money

can buy membership here,

words can save,

words can kill;

turn around

before it is too late;

once more,

the darkness closes in,

once more,

the abyss lies ahead,

calling, beckoning, caressing;

save me Lord……………!

in the morning,

Your voice softly speaks,

telling me not to fear,

reminding me that You see

everything I do,

that not even a sparrow falls

without Your knowledge,

and that I am worth more

than many sparrows,

proving that You are real,

bringing peace

to my troubled mind,

removing the chaos and confusion,

lighting up the darkness;

thank you Lord;

help me overcome

the spiritual darkness,

help me remember

that the arrogance and hypocrisy

of others will pass,

help me turn the other cheek

when I am attacked,

silence my lips before they utter

foolish words of vanity and evil,

teach me to control this flesh,

seeking only self-fulfillment

and self-preservation,

remove anything

that is not of You,

let others see You through me;

let me be a son

of the living God.

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