Moments

while I was sitting in the

doctor’s office today,

a thought occurred to me,

that most of us live our lives

for moments,

a moment here, a moment there,

the two week vacation in July,

a night out on the town,

the retirement cabin in the mountains,

lying on an ocean beach,

a long, slow, walk on the boardwalk,

a moment to be away

from this charade,

passing itself off as a life,

which in fact is just a staging area,

for the moments we are

forever preparing for,

continuously planning on;

somehow it just doesn’t seem right;

living life this way,

is not living at all,

it is only a charade,

with no validity or authenticity,

a life which mirrors mediocrity,

in the name of inevitability,

for the sake of divine mockery;

in short, it sucks;

authentic lives should have meaning,

an inner code existing within,

some originality,

a refusal to settle for a moment here,

or a moment there;

sometimes I believe there are two kinds

of people in this life,

dart throwers and dart dodgers,

unfortunately, most of us fall into the latter,

continually dodging the darts,

being thrown by those who hold all

the moments in their hands;

meanwhile, the doctor is tsk tsking away,

telling me that I need to lose some weight,

(I could have told myself that),

marveling that I can work out an hour each day,

and still eat enough to be as fat as I am,

and that if I don’t do something,

I will be coming to see him for the last time,

and I quietly think to myself;

great;

one more fucking moment

to look forward too.

.

.