SON

For those of you who have read my book you know that this poem is from that. What you don’t know is the story behind it. In September of 1978 I had a son born who was put up for adoption. His birth mother was named Jacquelyn Emanuel Magee. She was a woman who I had lived with for approximately a year prior to joining the Navy. We met at the Whitehouse Nightclub. She was from Eau Claire, Michigan. She graduated from Eau Claire High School in 1972. She was short (about 5’) and had red hair. At the time she had just completed a divorce from a man named Marshall Magee who lived in Eau Claire. She had a son from that marriage named Danny who was living in foster care. She had a brother named Richard Emanuel . Her mother was married to a man who was the father of Terry Diltz who went to Brandywine High School. His name was George. When I first began seeing her she was living with her Grandparents on Naomi Road in the St. Joe/Benton Harbor region. After I joined the Navy she was living with friends who I did not know.

I talked to her on the phone shortly after the birth and she told me she had only gotten to hold the baby for a few minutes, that it was a boy and she had named him John (I don’t know if that was the name that stayed with him or not, I doubt that it did). The baby was put up for adoption by an agency out of Grand Rapids, Michigan (I don’t remember the name). I only know they sent me a form to fill out with my family history and a consent form I signed, allowing the baby to be put up for adoption. At the time I was in the Navy where I was a student at the Naval Nuclear Training Facility in West Milton, NY. Years later (around 1984) while on patrol on the USS Georgia, SSBN 729, a trident submarine, I wrote this poem.

Over the last 32 years I have made several attempts to locate this son without any success. I thought my best hope would be to locate the mother (Jackie), but I haven’t been successful there either. Recently I filled out an application for the tv show ‘Searching For’ on the Oprah Winfrey Network to enlist their help in locating this child. I don’t know if I will be selected or not. But then I thought what can it hurt to put this information on this blog? I know the odds are stacked against it but if there is a chance that any people on facebook or any of the thousands of people who have viewed my blog(yes, I am amazed at the stats on my blog also) (It’s not just in this country either) know something about this it might help. So if anyone does have any information please contact me. Thank you.

SON

Somewhere he waits
and I listen,
as the silence
grows painfully louder.

SON;

I wish I could tell you that you’re mine
but you’re not and never were,
still there is that bond
and I guess that is the way
it will always be.

SON;

I wish I could show you
the beauty of your shining sisters’ smiles,
I imagine you must be
very much like they are,
except they are mine
and you are not;

and never will be.

SON;

I make no excuses
for the things that took place,
and I wouldn’t have any
even if I did,
to be honest
it didn’t have a thing
to do with you,
as hollow as that may sound,
it’s just the way
things worked out,
but still I do remember;

which is more
than I left to you.
.
.