Never Been to Prison

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

 Ephesians 6:12

Never been to prison,
but I feel like
I’ve been behind bars
since the day I was born,
never seen the desert,
but I think I have been
planning the trip
all my life.

Now my life
is almost over,
dried up
like an abandoned well,
a gentle mist,
a fog shrouded vapor,
see it fade,
see it change,
see it rearrange,
movement becomes hard,
pain a way of life,
everything is gone,
everything is different;

everything is new.

We reap what we sow,
and I have sown the seeds
of perversion,
wallowed in the ways of lust,
fulfilled the desires of the flesh,
reveled in the excesses,
partook of the debauchery,
delighted in the thrills,
I have lived for the moment,
searching for forbidden fruit;

I deserve nothing.

All my life
I have lived in worlds of fantasy,
trapped by delusions and
non-existent details,
flirting with madness
and disasters beyond
mere magnitudes of mortality,
searching for finality,
witnessing untold destruction,
forever knowing,
continually waiting
for moments that came
and went like liquid glass;

the night belongs to those
who have nothing else.

Sadness is an art
known by only a few,
understood by none,
without beginning or end,
without mercy or compassion,
techniques and classifications
have no hold here,
no amount of money
can buy membership here,
words can save,
words can kill;

turn around
before it is too late.


once more
the darkness closes in,
once more
the abyss lies before you,
calling, beckoning, caressing;


save me Lord!……………
.
.