Etc.

Growing up,
I never wanted the normal things:

money, good job, family, etc.,

my vision was always a stage
playing rock and roll music
in front of huge cheering crowds,
with everyone who never believed (in me),
who never thought I’d be much of anything,
old girl friends, parents, teachers, etc.,
sitting in the front row;

realizing just how wrong they had been.

It was this vision
that made me play so hard in sports,
even though I could have cared less
about winning or losing,
it was the roar of a crowd
during a touchdown run
or game winning hit
that I lived for,
and even though I talked about all the other things:

teamwork, hustle, hard work, etc.,

it was all bullshit,
it was never about anything but adulation;

and payback.

My life was a lie then
just as it is today,
as I go to my dead end job,
pretending to be a good husband, father, co-worker, etc.,
talking about right and wrong, morality, beliefs, etc.,
telling my daughter
about teamwork, hustle, hard work, etc.,
when inside I’m still standing on that stage,
before thousands of screaming, adoring fans,
looking down at old girlfriends, parents, teachers, etc,
screaming into the microphone;

“See!
you were wrong all the time!”
.
.