My life is heading for a Jerry Springer episode,
an over-weight, middle-age, bald guy with cardiovascular disease,
who can’t stop stuffing his face with junk food and sugar,
in spite of a heart attack and diabetes,
in love with a beautiful, sexy, half-mexican, half-scottish woman
from Louisiana who he has never met in real life,
all the while keeping it hid
from the woman who has been at his side for almost 25 years,
who is the mother of his 3 children,
and grandmother to his 3 grandchildren;
yes, this is definitely Jerry Springer material.
Lately I have been thinking I need a time-out,
I was thinking that prison might be the answer,
ten years should just about cover it,
solitary confinement would be even better,
segregated from the rest of the prison population,
just as long as they let me have a word processor,
and a CD player with a good selection of music,
along with a set of headphones;
I think things would go along quite well.
I could get my eating under control,
I wouldn’t have to worry about all the debt I owe;
(what are they gonna do, throw me in prison?)
I could stop trying to keep up with all the madness,
I wouldn’t have to go to a job that I hate,
I wouldn’t have to put up with all the idiots,
sure I might have to put up with a strip search every now and then,
or a lights out at 10 policy every night,
I might even have to work a little every day at some mundane prison job,
but I think the positives far out-weigh the negatives,
and if anything came up that I didn’t want to face or deal with
I’d just hide out in my cell,
protected by the bars and locks all around me;
isn’t that what prison life is all about?
Maybe that is what we all are searching for,
a good prison where we can hide out,
safe from the world around us;
protected from reality by steel bars and walls of concrete
of our own making.
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