No More

who sees these shadows,

who knows this hunger,

every word,

every thought,

every feeling;

inadequate;

the day is gone,

the night moves on,

bags all packed,

waiting for the final call;

like a cancer it grows,

this monster,

this disease,

this curse,

toxic,

poisonous,

deadly,

infecting everyone it touches,

destroying everything in its path,

if I could, I would end it today,

but once you go through that door,

there’s no going back, no return,

no tomorrow;

no more;

I’ve given in to food, to television,

to non-movement, to weight,

to health, to age, to time,

there is much I haven’t seen,

even more I will never know,

I understand this, I accept this,

there is nothing I can do about this,

it doesn’t matter,

I continue to rise,

I continue to breathe,

I continue to carry on;

I have no choice;

every day I rise,

every day I wait,

every day I wonder if

today is the day,

but it never is,

I am tired,

tired of the fight,

tired of the struggle,

tired of temporary victories,

tired of losing,

tired of the darkness;

I twist, I turn, I run, I hide;

I love her still.

.

.