fading fast

I sleep a sleep that is no sleep,

I live a life that is no life,

I die a death that is no death,

I dream a dream that is no dream;

I am fading fast;

all my life, spent trying to write

the ultimate line,

the perfect poem,

the last word,

the final solution;

there is nothing left;

I am tired,

everyday, the same old thing,

words nauseate me,

food and breathing have become

unnecessary burdens,

my guts are rotting from the inside out,

my teeth are grinding into dust,

my brain is turning to mush,

I am sick of objects,

repulsed by their touch,

their sight,

I want to walk naked into the desert,

no destination,

no return,

I want to write words that will bring

tears to a blind man,

I want to dance with queens and

other fantasies,

run with wolves and ghosts,

I want to slip quietly away,

like a beast in the night;

I am fading fast.

.

.