Imperfection

my soul has tasted madness,

my soul lies dying in the dust,

choking on the excess,

drowning in the lust,

caught up in the illusion,

dried up,

empty,

no where left to turn,

no where left to run,

guilty as charged;

once again You

raise me from the depths,

once again You

wrap me in Your love,

Your righteousness and glory

more than my filth ridden flesh

can bear,

Your perfection

overwhelming the imperfection

of all that I am;

Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!

once again You quietly whisper;

Don’t be afraid; just believe;

my God,

my King,

my Everything.

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Absence

we are all murderers,

we are all criminals,

we are all killers,

we are all thieves,

we are all innocent,

we are all guilty;

we are all dying,

in this place

there is no redemption,

no forgiveness,

no hope;

without You,

there are no answers;

some realities exist beyond

the distant horizon looming

before our limited eyes,

some truths are bigger

than the capabilities

of our simple minds

to comprehend,

some questions

are better left unasked;

somewhere there is light,

somewhere there is forgiveness,

somewhere there is hope;

somewhere there is You.

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Verdict

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.               Ecclesiastes 1:9

“This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.”   John 3:19

everyday I prepare for battle,

everyday I fight the fight,

some days I win,

some days I lose;

some days I barely break even;

we talk of change,

we hope for a better way,

but at the end of the day

everything remains the same;

there is nothing new under the sun;

we are what we are

because we choose to be,

unable to be anything else,

shadows, disappearing with

the noon day sun,

fodder flailing in the wind,

failing and re-failing,

facsimiles wasting away

like rotting refuse;

guilty as charged;

where does it all end,

where does it all begin,

like a mighty, rolling river,

flowing from here to there,

without reason,

without rhyme;

where does it all end?

do not leave me here

in this land of dying corpses,

breathe new life into my lungs,

restore the light before my eyes,

pull me from this drowning world;

bring me home to You.

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Less

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.  Ecclesiastes 1:9

I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.  Ecclesiastes 1:14

with each passing day

I see the hopelessness,

I understand the futility,

I know the inadequacy;

I have been to the edge,

I have seen all there is to see,

I have known all there is to know,

I have said all there is to say;

there is nothing new under the sun;

old homes fade,

new ones crumble into the dust,

this world, this life,

no meaning, no purpose;

without You;

holding on,

waiting for a different way,

desperately searching for the light

of a brand new day,

standing accused,

guilty as charged,

nowhere left to run,

nothing more to hide,

line after line,

coming and going,

flowing like a mighty river,

and still

it is not enough;

I am less

than what You

made  me to be.

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Guilty

The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles. Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error. Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.   Romans 1:18-32

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his generation protested? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished. He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth. Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life an offering for sin, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand. After he has suffered, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities. Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors. Isaiah 53:4-12

We are all guilty, we are all without excuse. Jesus was tortured and executed for the sins of mankind, which means every one of us are to blame for His death. Every single one of us are guilty of murder. If we deny this then we call God a liar and we are just as guilty. It is not about gay rights or heterosexual superiority. Not about who leads a clean life and who doesn’t. Not about who is guiltier than the other. Not about pro-life or a woman’s right to choose. As the prophet Isaiah said; “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” God is the only One who is right. The rest of us can either accept His mercy or turn our backs on it and deny the only hope we have of escaping this life for something far better. I know I can never make anyone understand this through words. Only the Holy Spirit can provide true understanding. I pray that God will send the Holy Spirit into your life to help you understand what I am saying.

even Einstein knew that

Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only changed or altered in form – a condensation of the first law of thermodynamics, and one of the principles for Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity.

I've learned a few things

in this life of mine,

things that no one else knows

or takes the time to see;

for example:

I know that rock n roll

began in 1948,

in the form of a simple

country blues song

called boogie chillun,

by a man who would influence

a whole generation,

but never get the credit

that was his due;

and I know,

that I have seen a true prophet of God

walk this earth in the

shape of a man during

my lifetime,

and that I heard his voice,

just as so many others did,

but that very few recognized him

for who he truly was,

but that someday they will;

just like all the other prophets

who came before him;

I know that this life

is not what it seems,

that it is an illusion

created to deceive and fool,

a very elaborate illusion,

but an illusion

just the same;

I know that Jesus Christ

was exactly who he said he was,

just as the words of the bible

say precisely what they mean,

and are not hiding

ancient secrets or

theological mysteries,

despite how many scholars

say they are,

that the truth is so simple

only the simple

can see it;

whether the rest of the world

wants to believe it

or not;

I know that nothing

is an accident

in this life,

that it was all planned out

from the beginning,

every detail,

every chance encounter,

that the energy we carry inside

can never be destroyed,

only changed

or altered in form;

hell;

even Einstein knew that.

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dead poets tell no tales

sometimes it is easier

this way;

alone with dead poets

and other

night time creatures;

she lingers on

for a moment past the dawn,

stroking softly and gently,

warm and sweet,

allowing you to drink

from her soul,

in exchange for small

bodily secretions,

but then she is gone;

like a butterfly in the wind;

just when you start to become

full of yourself,

like a barroom crapper

on a hot summer night,

you remember the

old man’s words;

“fuck it kid,

just fuck it all;

don’t be so god damned concerned

about clarity or understanding,

just pull the hammer back

and let them have it;

both barrels at once;”

I don’t need any of this shit,

I got bukowski for fatherly advice

and dickinson to stroke my cock,

what the hell do I need any of this shit for?

why do I need anything at all?

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