massacre

I stopped posting in January of this year after I hit 50,000 page views. I'm back.

“in the end” I told her,

“I will be the biggest loser

of them all,

this is something

I have known

all my life;”

but it is okay,

I know who I am,

I have always known,

I just did not want

anybody else

to know;

there has always been

a barstool

in a dimly lit

hole in the wall

with my name on it,

I was born

to be alone,

it is in my blood,

it is who I am;

“there are places

inside of me”

I told her,

“that are so dark,

so alone,

that no one

can even imagine

what they are like,

places that scare

even me,

places where words

only scratch

the surface;”

I only have one purpose

in life,

to be ready,

for the feel,

for the words,

for the voice,

for the muse,

whenever it passes

my way,

everything else

is just

passing time,

just a dream,

a life

for everyone

but me;

my only regret

has been

sucking others

into the massacre

with me;

they never

stood a

chance.

.

.