had a meeting with all the
big boys today,
it made me realize
just how small
I really am;
I sat there a long time
after that meeting,
just staring at the pages
of an open tech manual;
I thought about a good friend I
once knew,
I thought about the times we got
falling down drunk together,
laughing our asses off and
how I loved him like the brother
I never had,
I thought about how he sat in his car,
in the parking lot of the navy prototype
in upstate New York,
put a gun to his chest;
and pulled the trigger;
I thought about what he must have
felt,
all the things which went through his head
in those last few seconds;
and now I knew;
now I knew what it felt like
to have your soul raped,
and be powerless to prevent it;
fuck all the big boys everywhere,
they got it all covered,
they always did,
but they ain’t gonna take me,
they never will,
no matter how much shit they pile on,
if you wait long enough,
even this passes,
just like everything else;
this one’s for you Scott (brother).
.
.
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