No More

who sees these shadows,

who knows this hunger,

every word, every thought,

every feeling;

inadequate;

the day is gone, the night moves on,

the bags all packed, waiting for the

final call, like a cancer it grows,

this monster, this disease, this curse,

toxic, poisonous, deadly, infecting

everyone it touches, destroying

everything in its path,

if I could, I would end it today,

but once you go through that door,

there’s no going back, no return,

no tomorrow;

no more;

I’ve given in to food, to television,

to non-movement, to weight,

to health, to age, to time,

there is much I haven’t seen,

even more I will never know,

I understand this, I accept this,

there is nothing I can do about this,

it doesn’t matter, I continue to get up,

I continue to breathe, I continue to carry on;

I have no choice;

every day I rise, every day I wait,

every day I wonder if today is the day,

but it never is, I am tired,

tired of the fight, tired of the struggle,

tired of temporary victories, tired of losing,

tired of the darkness;

I twist, I turn, I run, I hide;

I love her still.

.

.