had a meeting today, with all the big boys,
it made me realize, just how small
I really am;
I sat there a long time after that
meeting,
just staring at the pages of an open tech manual;
I thought about a good friend I
knew once,
I thought about the times we got falling down drunk together,
laughing our asses off and how I loved him like the brother
I never had,
I thought about how he sat in his car, in the parking lot of
the navy prototype,
in upstate New York, put a gun to his chest;
and pulled the trigger;
I thought about what he must have
felt,
all the things which went through his head,
in those last few seconds;
and now I knew;
now I knew what it felt like,
to have your soul raped,
and be powerless to prevent it;
fuck all the big boys everywhere,
they got it all covered,
they always did,
but they ain’t gonna take me,
they never will,
no matter how much shit they pile on,
if you wait long enough,
even this passes,
just like everything else;
this one’s for you Scott (brother).
.
.
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