grieve

I would do it;

but the finality stands

in the way;

the uncertainty,

the hesitation;

sometimes I think,

this is the way it should be,

all the time;

beyond feeling,

beyond caring,

beyond knowing,

beyond rewrites and

perfection,

beyond judgment,

beyond misery,

beyond charades,

beyond lies,

beyond self-delusion;

beyond love and fantasy,

beyond wondering and doubt;

beyond self;

every denial demands

atonement,

every question requires

answers,

every gift has a price,

for everything worth having

there is a cost;

I wish it were not so,

I wish there was another way;

madness rules,

darkness lights the way,

You are all that is left,

at the end of the day,

there are things

bigger than ourselves,

beyond thinking or reason,

things that matter most,

things that define

who we are,

the miles go by,

the years pass,

the end is near;

soon enough,

soon enough;

this poverty has

another face,

another kind of soul,

quiet and alone,

frightened and confused,

suicide can be so blind,

nothing more than

a whisper,

spitting and sputtering,

laughing and pretending;

you cannot love anyone,

until you have learned

to grieve for everyone.

.

.