The Way It Should Be

I returned to the home of my parents
for a few days last week,
back to a home where I once lived
but have been gone
for over 25 years now,
while I was there I attended
my 30 year high school reunion;

it was very strange.

I’m not really sure why I went,
or what the point was,
once I was there I realized
that I spent 4 years with these people,
and 4 years seemed like such a very short time
compared to the years which had gone by,
but it was interesting to watch how quickly
everyone (myself included) returned to the roles
played back in high school,
there were so many things I had planned to say,
about places and things I have seen and done,
about all the words I have written over the years
to make up for the words which were never spoken
when I knew most of them,
but instead I became the big dumb-ass,
smiling jock again;

as if nothing had ever changed.

Most of then had ended up
exactly as I assumed they would,
lawyers,
college professors,
business people,
husbands and wives,
fathers and mothers,
grandfathers and grandmothers;

dead.

I suppose it would have been better
if I had gotten falling down drunk,
but I had already done that the weekend before,
drinking vodka and beer until I passed out,
and I’m only good
for about 3 or 4 of those a year anymore,
so I had to pass at the reunion,
but perhaps if I had
I might have shown them a glimpse
of the person who I really am,
but then again;

perhaps not.

None of them knew me then,
and none of them know me now;

which is probably
the way it should be.
.
.