Testimony

   Imagine standing in a corridor so dark you can barely see your hand in front of your face. As you begin walking down this corridor, you bump into walls and bang into objects, with no idea what they are or where you are going. The darkness grows until eventually you are completely enveloped by a black veil, unable to see anything at all. Then off in the distance you see a light, just a spec at first, and you slowly begin to make your way towards it. As you get closer the light grows, until eventually it illuminates the passageway that you are standing in. In the light you can see the sad, pathetic state of your life. You can see all the imperfections and mistakes. For the first time you see yourself as you really are, all the things you could not see in the dark. Then out of the light comes a voice which tells you not to fear, just believe, that He can fix all the things you see wrong, if you only trust in Him. And it is a free gift, which He has already paid for.

   This is a poetic journey from darkness to light, a journey that has been a lifetime in the making. In addition to salvation and eternal life, everything that I have, everything that I am, everything that I ever will be, I owe to the Lord Jesus Christ. Without His love and grace this story would be meaningless, just as life (any life) is meaningless without Him. All mankind owes Him more than can ever be repaid.

   I can never remember a time when I did not believe in the Lord. I accepted Jesus into my life as a child, where I periodically attended church, but I never allowed Him to become Lord of my life. Around the time I was 20, I did ask the Lord to come back into my life, and I walked with Him for several months, but I was more interested in satisfying the desires of the flesh, as many are, and I fell away once more. There are many reasons for that but none of them are excuses, eventually we all have to make our own choices and be held accountable for them. Fortunately, as He says in the bible, He never leaves us, (we leave Him), and I am here to testify that He always stands knocking just outside the door of our hearts, waiting for us to hear His voice and open the door to Him.

   For the next 28 years I lived my life without the Lord. To make a long story short, I got drunk, got high, did drugs, used prostitutes, committed fornication, dabbled in the occult, joined the Navy, got married, had children (3 daughters), had grandchildren, committed adultery and ended up making a mess of my life, and hurting everyone in it. My marriage was basically over; I was making plans to move into a motel, and just a few days away from flying to be with a woman in Louisiana who I thought I had fallen in love with. I was about to lose everyone and everything in my life that had come to mean something, everything that God had blessed me with over the years, in spite of my continuous disobedience to Him and my refusal to allow Him to be the Lord of my life. Then I went to see Mel Gibson’s “Passion of the Christ” and for the first time in a long, long time I began thinking about the Lord. For the first time I came to the full realization of just what it was He did for me, and everyone like me.

   I began to realize just how selfish and self-serving I had become. I began to see myself as I really was, not the grandiose image I had created in my mind. The next day my wife (Dodie) said she had wanted to see the movie also. I told her I wouldn’t mind watching it again, if she wouldn’t mind going with me. I didn’t expect the movie to have much of an effect on Dodie. She had never expressed the slightest bit of interest in religion during our 24 years of marriage, and had never had any exposure to Christianity growing up as a child. However, much to my surprise, the movie had a very deep and visible effect on her, (as it did on me, for the second time). Afterwards we talked a long time about Jesus and what the bible had to say about him. For the first time in a long time we really opened up to each other. I went through with my plans to move into the motel, but within a few days of seeing the movie I moved back into our home and canceled my plans to fly to the other woman. The Lord moved in our lives in a very powerful and undeniable way. Dodie began reading the bible and asking questions, which made me start reading the bible to find the answers. He made us both come to the realization of just how badly we were in need of Him and His healing power. We both began praying to Him and asking for His guidance. We began studying the bible together and eventually were led to our local Nazarene Church, where Dodie accepted the Lord as her savior, and I asked Him to come back into my life and be the Lord and master of it forever. Since then our marriage has continued to grow stronger as we both realize how blessed we are to have each other. That God brought us together for a very real and definite purpose and that marriage is a very holy and serious commitment. Is everything perfect in our lives? Do we never have problems to face, or trials to overcome? No, but not a day goes by that the Lord does not teach us something. The most important of these lessons is that we need to trust in Him completely. Proverbs 3:5-8 have become the cornerstone of everything in my walk with the Lord. Every day I try to read them or recite them to myself:

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil
It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

   In His word He says that He chastises and admonishes those who He loves so I hope that He never stops correcting me when I am wrong, because then I will always know that He loves me, and that is the only thing which truly matters in this life. I hope and pray that if you do not know the Lord Jesus that you will ask Him into your life and begin the journey that leads to eternal life, and a relationship with God that you will never regret.

Someday “every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus is Lord” Isaiah 45:23, Philippians 2:10-11