Through It All

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”   John 14:6-7

I have been on both sides of the fence,

I have been everywhere in-between,

physically,

emotionally,

spiritually,

financially;

I have worked for hundreds

of thousands of dollars,

I have worked for minimum wage,

I have tasted a life of privilege,

I have known the hopelessness

of poverty,

I have witnessed first hand,

the devastation of losing

everything,

I have worked at a desk,

using only my mind and fingers,

I have worked back-breaking jobs,

that no one should have to do;

I have seen people at their best,

I have seen people at their worst;

I have entered dark places, from

which very few survive,

I have stood on the edge,

as the god of this world

quietly whispered in my ear;

“take one more step”;

I have seen demons,

dark and evil,

drive past in a car,

as I rode a bike

down the road,

laughing,

mocking,

I have talked with an angel,

her name was Vena,

she held my hand,

as I lay in a hospital bed having

a heart attack,

I have seen people destroyed,

by the very things from which

I was saved;

through it all,

You have been there

for as long as I can

remember,

quietly watching,

softly calling,

patiently waiting,

through it all, You have

lifted me up when I could not

stand on my own,

saving me when no one

else could,

protecting me when no one

else would,

through it all, You have

given me an education,

that no college could provide,

no amount of money

could buy,

teaching me humility

and compassion,

helping me to stand,

allowing me to fall,

showing me the illusion

surrounding this world,

the lies that trap so many,

who do not even know

they are trapped;

no one makes it out of this life

without You,

no one comes to the Father,

but though You.

.

.

You Alone

From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”   John 6:66-69

changes;

once again;

flesh and weakness

stand in the way;

when everything

has been stripped clean,

when all the filth has been

washed away,

when every word has been said,

when every thought has been thought,

when every breath has been breathed,

when every beat has been beat,

when there is nothing more,

nothing at all;

there is You;

I am ready to live,

I am ready to die,

I am ready to do

Your will;

there is no other truth,

there is no other way;

You alone have the words

of eternal life,

You alone, are the

Holy One of God;

where else would I go?

to who else would I turn?

You alone.

.

.

Nothing Left to Say

the morning rises,

dark and cold,

time without sound,

night without day,

forty years and twenty million

empty words later,

beautiful dreams fade,

broken and dead,

new visions and epiphanies

fill the void,

feeble and weak;

nothing left to say;

all the self-absorbed pity,

all the weakness and fear,

all the lost moments,

all the wasted time,

this cacophony of

endless excuses,

proud and vain within

their self-made universe,

without soul or purpose,

without depth or emphasis,

just one more day,

one more touch,

one more breath;

away;

rules have no meaning here,

fantasies move back and forth,

flying like the wind,

abandoned with the morning trash;

no one knows the cost,

no one knows the price;

before Your throne do I fall,

into Your hands do I place my life,

upon Your mercy and grace

lies my only hope;

I am Yours,

help me do Your

glorious will.

.

.

A New Day

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.   II Corinthians 12:9

the sun rises,

a new day dawns,

searching for so long,

running from masters served,

surrounded by prison bars,

caught in unseen traps,

a prisoner of flesh and blood,

fighting a war I can never win;

do the battles never end?

Your spirit quietly speaks,

the peace and joy return,

the fear and doubt fade,

the darkness retreats,

hope grows;

a slave no more;

pain melts away,

falling like the evening stars,

Your light shines upon me,

like a beacon in the night,

there is You, and nothing

else matters,

Your glory all there is;

Your grace enough;

look down on me Lord,

see the weakness,

forgive the compromise and betrayal,

remove the evil hiding within,

raise me above the destruction,

carry me through the storm,

protect me from the enemy,

waiting just outside door;

bring me home to You.

.

.

Getting By

the hunger burns,

forcing consumption to

the point of nausea, until

there is no more room,

as you are left there lying

in a pool of your own puke,

all the time quietly thinking,

I know I can squeeze just

a little more in;

everyone wants to be a success,

except me;

I just want to get by.

.

.

Cancer Would Be Quicker

cancer would be quicker,

with just a touch of

quiet lingering,

along the way;

taking away some of

the uncertainty, removing

all doubt, while helping to

keep the focus,

as you slowly fade away,

like a ship in the

midnight fog;

never to be seen again;

instead, we trudge along,

never quite sure when it

will all end,

packing our bags along

the way;

just in case;

as we take our shots,

firing wildly at anything

that moves,

very rarely making

them count.

.

.

Next

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”   Matthew 14:28-33

one more lesson,

one more obstacle,

one more weakness,

one more time, I begin

to sink below the surface;

once again, You grasp

my hand, once again,

You pull me from the depths,

once again, You teach me

to overcome, once again,

Your power sets

me free;

the world continues on,

wars and rumors of wars,

death and destruction,

joy and laughter,

greed and self-satisfaction,

vanity and pride;

none of that matters now,

the flesh slowly dies,

only a fading mist,

a disappearing shadow,

I am finished with it all,

there is nothing more

I need, there is nothing

more I want,

all that matters now is

what comes next,

all that matters now,

is You.

.

.