Trap

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.   Ecclesiastes 1:9

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.   Proverbs 3:5-8

the fear grows,

the panic sets in,

another tyrant,

another war,

another group of

evil doers;

pointing fingers,

assigning blame,

passing judgment,

plotting retribution,

giving in to emotions,

deceived by the illusion;

falling into the trap;

nothing has changed,

nothing is new,

just a different name,

just another place,

what sad, pathetic fools

we are;

blinded by our own self-worth,

slaves to our preconceived ideas,

prisoners of our dying flesh,

controlled by our irrational fears,

forever repeating history,

forever trusting in our imperfect

and limited comprehension;

forever falling into the trap;

everyday Your grace begins anew,

everyday You open the door,

everyday You help me to rise,

everyday You teach me more.

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What Love Really Is

some get it,

most don’t,

they think they do,

but they don’t,

their comments and words

give them away,

but it really is ok,

some of the time

I don’t get it either,

I just put on a knowing look,

and pretend with all the rest,

not knowing is bad enough,

admitting that you don’t know

even worse;

it does get hard though,

listening to all the know-it-alls

and self-proclaimed experts,

rambling on and on about

this and that,

as you patiently listen, nod

and smile,

all the while wondering

what you will eat for dinner

when you get home,

or why the One who

does know all,

puts up with all the

vanity and bullshit;

why He doesn’t just

speak and make it all

go away;

it’s realizations like this,

when you begin to understand,

what love really is.

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Ice Cream and Patti Smith

I used to run marathons and hike

12 miles up into the mountains;

now I just want a bowl of ice cream;

life has very little to offer

anymore.

I bought what I thought

was a Patti Smith CD today,

it was used and priced at only $4.99,

it was only when I got home

that I realized it was Patty Smyth,

some 1980’s pop star,

not the poet;

I threw it into the trash;

Patti Smith (the poet),

has always fascinated me,

I think she’s one of the

most beautiful women

on the planet,

strong yet vulnerable,

a pioneer of the unknown,

putting it all on the line,

one of a handful,

brave enough

to venture into the shit,

so decent people like us

don’t have to;

an amazing individual;

later I got in my truck

and drove to the store;

time for that bowl

of ice cream.

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Imperfection

When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will catch men.” So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him. Luke 5:8-11

Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.” Mark 5:36

my soul has tasted madness,

my soul lies dying in the dust,

choking on the excess,

drowning in the lust,

caught up in the illusion,

dried up,

empty,

no where left to turn,

no where left to run,

guilty as charged;

once again You

raise me from the depths,

once again You

wrap me in Your love,

Your righteousness and glory

more than my filth ridden flesh

can bear,

Your perfection

overwhelming the imperfection

of all that I am;

Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!

once again You quietly whisper;

Don’t be afraid; just believe.

my God,

my King,

my Everything.

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now it begins

When he opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.   Revelations 8:1

night does approach,

dreams do fade,

silence awaits,

time no more;

now it begins;

love fades,

hypocrisy rises,

iniquity abounds,

self-proclaimed children of light,

fingers of judgment,

objects of wrath,

calm,

cool,

arrogant;

no mourning,

no shame,

no remorse,

sitting as a queen;

in one day her plagues

will overtake her.

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dreams

who is right and

who is wrong?

I am like a beached whale;

struggling,

turning,

pulsing,

heaving,

fighting,

rolling,

rising,

falling;

and who is right,

and who is wrong?

the silence remains,

undisguised,

unspoken,

forgotten,

hiding behind

darkened windows,

shadows within the

night,

silky smooth,

hot and bothered,

passionately pure,

blends of this,

shades of that,

pieces of the

unfinished puzzle,

none of it real,

none of it genuine,

none of it true;

who is right and

who is wrong?

within these walls

are many tales,

much laughter,

rivers of sorrow,

oceans of tears,

pools of sadness,

victims drowning

within their own blood;

we are all right,

we are all wrong;

winners and losers,

fighters and failures,

lovers and haters,

innocent and guilty,

doomed and redeemed;

together;

this is all there is,

this is all we have;

I cannot dream

what I do not know,

I cannot know

what I do not dream.

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grieve

I would do it;

but the finality of it all

stands in the way;

the uncertainty;

the hesitation;

sometimes I think,

this is the way it should be,

all the time;

beyond feeling,

beyond caring,

beyond knowing,

beyond rewrites and

perfection,

beyond judgment,

beyond misery,

beyond charades,

beyond lies,

beyond self-delusion;

beyond love and fantasy,

beyond wondering and doubt;

beyond self;

every denial demands

atonement,

every question requires

an answer,

for every gift

there is a price,

for everything worth having

there is a cost;

I wish it were not so,

I wish there was another way;

madness rules,

darkness lights the way,

You are all that is left

at the end of the day,

there are things

bigger than ourselves,

beyond thinking or reason,

there are things that

matter most,

there are things that define

who we are,

the miles go by,

the years pass,

the end is near;

soon enough,

soon enough;

this poverty has

another face,

another kind of soul,

quiet and alone,

frightened and confused,

suicide can be so blind,

nothing more than

a whisper,

spitting and sputtering,

laughing and pretending;

you cannot love anyone,

until you have learned

to grieve for everyone.

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