This Prison/Parole

This Prison

In the dead of the hot

summer night,

the breeze finally comes,

as the heat floats gently away

like the breath of a

slowly dying man,

his soul crying out to be free

from this prison

where it has been held

for so long,

never allowed to become

all that it was meant to be,

praying for survival

among the destruction

of these decaying

prison walls,

returning to a home

it has never known;

sleep comes hard

in this lonely land of pain,

as thoughts of words

already said echo through

the silence of the mind,

remembering places nearly forgotten

by this clever disguise

called life;

the still, small voice

softly calls out,

offering a refuge of

hope and light

amidst the cold and barren darkness

of this forgotten,

forsaken cell;

I wish I could walk out

of this prison,

discard it like old clothes,

free at last,

no restrictions,

no fear or rage,

only quiet, simple thought;

this prison which holds me

to the earth,

this prison that makes me

crave depravity,

this prison in which I was born,

this prison which has

grown with me,

but has never let me

grow.

Parole

Within the conquering depths

of this cold black cell,

You bring hope and life,

from the empty solitude

of this perpetual dungeon,

You fill me with your light,

trapped in the endless despair

of this eternal bondage,

You bring freedom and peace;

this prison,

holding me captive all my life,

no longer decides

who or what I shall be,

this depraved fortress of iniquity,

filled with unending suffering and pain

where so much has been lost,

no longer shackles me

in the binding chains

of anger and fear,

the master of eternal night,

whose darkness and lies

deceive the whole world,

no longer blinds my eyes;

freed from this prison

at a cost beyond compare,

paroled by Your sacrifice and love

through Your amazing mercy and grace;

PRAISE YOUR NAME FOREVER!!!

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All There Is

From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”                                         John 6:66-69

dark clouds on the horizon,

the storm rapidly approaches,

no escape, 

no where left to run;

eventually the end

catches us all;

within Your sanctuary

I seek shelter,

You are my safe haven,

You are my only refuge,

to You alone do I run;

You are all there is.

time grows short,

soon there will be

nothing left,

I wait for the day,

I long to be

where You are,

there is nothing else,

I cannot escape

even if I wanted to;

You are all there is.

Lord, I am so lost,

I am so blind,

I am so hopeless,

I am so pathetic,

I am so helpless,

without You

I am nothing;

You are all there is.

You teach me truth,

cutting through all

the hypocrisy and hate,

giving the example;

You are all there is.

.

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Dark Day

Thus saith the LORD, thy redeemer, and he that formed thee from the womb, I am the LORD that maketh all things; that stretcheth forth the heavens alone; that spreadeth abroad the earth by myself; That frustrateth the tokens of the liars, and maketh diviners mad; that turneth wise men backward, and maketh their knowledge foolish;

                                                                                                            Isaiah 44:24-25

today was a dark day,

rainy and cloudy,

windy and cold,

gloomy and sinister;

I felt like I wanted

to do something,

but I didn’t know what,

sometimes it feels

as though this is the

story of my life;

dark days and

not knowing what

to do;

I saw a specialist yesterday

about my herniated disk,

he suggested trying a nerve block

to relieve the pain,

he doesn’t know if it will work,

but it beats the alternatives,

so I’m going to go with it;

I watched a show about Hitler

on the military channel,

it was about his rise to power

and the extraordinary events

which took place to make it happen,

it almost seemed supernatural,

which is exactly what it was;

monsters like him

only exist because God allows it;

while watching the thought occurred

that his whole purpose for existence

was to put the Jewish people

through a great refining trial

before they were allowed

to return to their homeland,

and that perhaps

the whole purpose of America

becoming a nation

almost 200 years earlier,

was to make it possible

for Hitler’s eventual defeat

and pave the way

for God’s chosen people

to return to their promised land,

just like perhaps,

the purpose of the Roman Empire

was to provide the method by which

fulfillment of a 700 year old prophecy

of the Messiah dying on a tree

could be fulfilled,

and that the subsequent news

of His resurrection could be spread

throughout the known world of the time,

through the technology of Roman roads

and transportation systems;

perhaps?

of course, I’m sure

scholars and experts,

those much wiser than I,

would laugh at such a notion,

but then it wouldn’t be

the first time

God has used seemingly

unrelated and unimaginable plans

to confound the wise and knowledgeable;

would it?

for example,

who would have thought

that a rag-tag band of uneducated

fishermen and peasants,

would confound and confuse

the educated and wise men of their day,

by witnessing and testifying

to the greatest event

in the history of mankind?

who could have imagined it?

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Everything I Need

Walking through this darkness,

the pain grows stronger,

becoming more

than I think my body can bear,

with every breath, with every step,

You teach me the value of mercy,

You show me the price of suffering;

You are the potter,

I am just the clay,

even though I have nothing,

with You I have

everything I need;

this body fades,

everything turns to rust,

being with You is all that matters,

walking with You

all that I desire,

glorifying Your name

my only purpose,

serving You my only mission;

You are the potter,

I am just the clay,

even though I have nothing,

with You I have

everything I need;

Lord I am so close,

look down on me now,

see the humility of my heart,

know the sorrow contained within,

remove the darkness,

save me from the sadness,

fill me with Your love,

lift me into Your arms;

every hour,

every minute,

every second,

everything I have,

belongs to You;

You are the potter,

I am just the clay,

even though I have nothing,

with You I have

everything I need.

.

.

Darkness

And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?                                     Luke 18:7-8

darkness,

all my life I have

known darkness,

I have flirted with it,

I have danced with it,

I have felt its intoxicating touch,

I have watched it destroy

innocent, naive fools,

I have seen it claim victims

without mercy or remorse;

darkness,

yes I know darkness,

I have seen its cruelty,

I have known its calculating coldness,

I have hid in the shadows

as it silently passed by,

I have stood at the edge

of its endless abyss,

staring into the eternal blackness,

I have been an unwitting

and unsuspecting witness to its

terrible and irreversible effects,

I have survived when so many others

did not;

yes, I have known darkness,

I have seen its writhing,

 invisible tentacles

slowly spreading across society,

quietly planting seeds of doubt,

secretly robbing the world of faith,

steadily dousing the light,

surely and confidently

waiting for the end;

soon the darkness

shall be no more,

evil shall no longer exist,

the world shall be free,

the light will shine once again,

every tear shall be wiped away;

He who testifies to these things says “Yes I am coming soon.”

Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.     Revelations 22:20

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And The Band Played On

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God – having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.       II Timothy3:1-5

Pain becomes the new laughter,

sorrow the flavor of the day,

hurtful words

the drug of choice,

lovers of self,

stone cold shells,

hearts of steel,

anything goes

in make believe worlds

where nothing is real,

sliding into depths

of decadence and decay;

and the band played on;

we soothe the fear

while hiding the emptiness,

making way for a tomorrow

full of distant despair,

time passes by,

madness breeds the future,

breathing life

into strange new creations

with no room for mercy

or compassion;

and the band played on;

we want reassurance,

we want good times,

we want vindication,

we want guarantees;

and the band played on;

inside the flesh rots

like butter in the warm

summer sun,

continually searching,

continually seeking,

new horizons among the chaos,

feeding off the lust,

surviving on the greed,

drowning in the filth,

laying waste

to all that moves,

misunderstanding the new art,

and at the end of the day

emptiness all that is left;

sometimes survival

is recreation enough;

living life in moments,

monuments frozen in time,

desperately holding on,

hopelessly watching,

slipping like smooth silky sand

through porous fingertips;

we are flawed,

everyone of us,

it is not of our doing,

but we are flawed

just the same,

imperfections within the rubbish,

scarred bloody stumps

of all that we could have been,

all that should have been,

fit for nothing

but the furnace fire,

without defense,

without hope,

pointing fingers and shaking our heads,

feeling somehow superior

above the filth,

better than the ‘sinners’,

but inside

we are all the same,

grubby little insects

seeking redemption,

crying out in pain

without making a sound,

tearing down walls

never to rise again,

replace the darkness

with the light,

let it shine into the cold

black night;

no matter how hard we try

we can never put it out;

something is lost

within this carnivorous cavern,

prosperity weakens

in the face of disaster,

with destruction

comes renewal,

with death

begins life;

won’t You help me

find the door?

won’t You show me

the truth?

won’t You rescue me

from the storm?

like a river it flows,

sometimes violent,

sometimes gentle,

on and on,

no beginning,

no end;

like a mighty wind it blows,

from here to there,

from where

no one knows;

heroes and hormones never die,

they go on forever

in this wilderness where

the sun never sets,

inside hallowed halls of glory

filled with words of hope,

the midday shadows grow long,

the hunger remains the same

despite twists and turns,

assuming new shapes,

twisting and turning,

resurfacing in different forms,

the morning grows tired of the noise,

still it goes on,

flowing like before,

blowing into the night,

still it goes on;

no one listens,

no one hears;

sleep well my friend,

the morning comes

soon enough,

the nighttime will fade

into the growing morning light;

and the band played on.

we hide inside our houses,

dreaming;

dreaming of the tomorrows,

imagining the possibilities,

running from the darkness,

mystified by the mystery,

trapped within the illusion,

waiting for the destination;

forever seeing,

but never knowing;

forever hearing,

but never understanding;

if it were up to me

I would stay in this place,

seeking shelter from the storm,

being swallowed up by the myth,

drowning in the depths,

growing cold from the emptiness,

guarding Your truth

like a rare and precious jewel,

but Your grace knows better,

You lead me past the mistakes,

through the traps and snares,

beyond myself;

and somewhere the band

no longer plays,

as the light

comes flooding through,

providing vindication

for even the weakest part,

shredding the illusions,

destroying the misconceptions;

speaking the truth.

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Creature

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.                                                                                            2 Corinthians 5:17

no longer the same,

no longer a slave

of this flesh driven body,

no longer a victim,

no longer trapped

by fear and death,

something different;

a new creation;

born of the spirit,

a foreigner

walking in a foreign land,

a child of light

called out from the darkness,

a chosen vessel;

a son of God;

let me walk

in Your holy righteousness,

teach me how to grow,

fill me with Your endless love,

guide my steps

down paths which lead me home

to You.

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