Words

“You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will give account on the day of  judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”   Matthew 12:34-37

when it comes to words,

it has always been all or nothing,

words have been my best friends,

my only companions,

my slaves,

my sluts,

my bitches,

my lovers,

my fantasies,

my obsessions,

my masters;

my salvation;

I have used words

like a healing salve,

spreading them like butter

on unseen cuts and gashes

until there was nothing left,

a silent barrier

behind which I could bury

all the loneliness and tears;

words have been there

when there was nothing else;

words should not be wasted

on summer roofing jobs

or dead Italian uncles,

but then again one MFA

is worth about 2 nights

in the gutter,

following 5 day benders

which you can barely remember,

or one week

in a cock-roach infested hotel,

with rats so big

they stand on their hind legs

and beg like trained circus seals,

all the while

daring you to do

something about it,

all the while knowing

that you won’t;

it’s moments like that

when you understand words

you never knew existed,

words you will never learn

at Harvard, or Princeton,

or Vassar,

as you slowly sip a bottle

of Wild Irish Rose, or Thunderbird

or Mad Dog 20/20;

of course

I have used words to describe

every act of perversion,

every known degradation,

every dark empty thought

existing with the human soul;

so who am I to judge?

words are clay

in the hands

of a skilled artist,

waiting to be sculpted

into an unknown beauty

that defies description,

they are the face

of a tragic cruelty,

beyond the limits

which our relatively simple minds

can even begin to fathom;

words are nothing,

words are everything,

by your words

you will be condemned,

by your words

you will be freed;

choose your words

wisely.

.

.