soon

I’m tired of trying to determine

who is right, who is wrong,

why this happened,

why this didn’t,

who’s to blame,

who isn’t,

who should apologize,

who shouldn’t,

when none of it matters,

none of it means anything at all,

we’re all wrong,

we’re all right,

we’re all to blame;

it just doesn’t matter;

and I am tired,

and I am sick,

and I am dying;

and it just doesn’t matter;

I am tired of worrying about tomorrow,

and yesterday,

and last week,

and last month,

and 2 years ago,

and 5 years from now,

and 15 seconds from now;

I’m just tired;

I want to hold on to

the moment,

I want to experience

perpetual orgasm,

I want to make it all

go away,

I want to hold on to everybody

and everything, but no one

or anything,

I want to feel high

forever;

I want to let go

once;

just once;

soon, soon,

but not soon enough.

.

.