This One's For You Scott

had a meeting today

with all the big boys,

it made me realize

just how small

I really am;

I sat there a long time

after that meeting,

just staring at the pages

of an open tech manual;

I thought about a good friend

I knew once,

I thought about the times

we got falling down drunk

together,

laughing our asses off, and

how I loved him like the brother

I never had,

I thought about how he sat in his car,

in the parking lot of the navy prototype

in upstate New York,

put a gun to his chest;

and pulled the trigger;

I thought about what he must have felt,

all the things which went through his head

in those last few seconds;

and now I knew;

now I knew what it felt like

to have your soul raped,

and be powerless to prevent it;

fuck all the big boys everywhere,

they got it all covered,

they always did,

but they ain’t gonna take me,

they never will,

no matter how much shit they pile on,

if you wait long enough

even this passes,

just like everything else;

this one’s for you Scott (brother).

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