Goodbye (for now)

I play the game,

but I have never been

very good at it,

just like I have never been

good at this domestication

thing,

fixing the house,

working on the yard,

making repairs to the car,

passing it on to the next generation,

growing old;

etc.

etc.

etc.;

it wasn't supposed to be

like this,

it was supposed to be

rock-n-roll,

fast cars,

faster women,

live hard,

die young;

somewhere along the line,

things changed;

I learned to cope,

I made adjustments,

I found a shelter where

I could hide;

then I fell in love with you;

things are not as they appear,

I don’t do this for a living,

in spite of bold words,

and exaggerated fantasies,

suggesting otherwise,

I’m in way over my head,

drowning in a sea,

with no land in sight,

this is not what I would choose,

if it were mine to choose,

but emotions and who we love,

is not ours to choose;

I thought I could handle it,

but I am not handling it

very well;

now, I just want to go home;

this is my problem,

I know that,

I will never blame you,

and I don’t want you

to blame yourself;

this is also goodbye,

or at least an honest effort,

I have tried before,

so goodbye;

(for now).

.

.