Never Been to Prison

Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

Never been to prison,
but I feel like
I’ve been behind bars
since the day I was born,
never seen the desert,
but I think I have been
planning the trip
my entire life;

now my life
is almost over,
dried up
like an abandoned well,
a gentle mist,
a fog shrouded vapor;

see it fade,
see it change,
see it rearrange,
movement becomes hard,
pain a way of life,
everything is gone,
everything is different;

everything is new.

We reap what we sow,
and I have sown the seeds
of perversion,
wallowed in the ways of lust,
fulfilled the desires of the flesh,
reveled in the excesses,
partook of the debauchery,
delighted in the thrills,
lived for the moment,
searched for forbidden fruit;

I deserve nothing.

All my life
I have lived in worlds of fantasy,
trapped by delusions and
non-existent details,
all my life
I have flirted with madness
and disasters beyond
mere magnitudes of mortality,
I have searched for finality,
witnessed untold destruction,
forever knowing,
continually waiting
for moments that came
and went like liquid glass;

the night belongs to those
who have nothing else.

Sadness is an art
known by only a few,
understood by none,
without beginning or end,
without mercy or compassion,
techniques and classifications
have no hold here,
no amount of money
can buy membership here,
words can save,
words can kill;

turn around
before it is too late.

Once more
the darkness closes in,
once more
the abyss lies ahead,
calling, beckoning, caressing,

save me Lord!……………

In the morning
Your voice softly speaks,
telling me not to fear,
reminding me that You see
everything I do,
that not even a sparrow falls
without Your knowledge,
and that I am worth more
than many sparrows,
proving that You are real,
bringing peace
to my troubled mind,
removing the chaos and confusion,
lighting up the darkness;

thank you Lord.

Help me overcome
the spiritual darkness,
help me remember
that the arrogance and hypocrisy
of others will pass,
help me turn the other cheek
when I am attacked,
silence my lips before they utter
foolish words of vanity and evil,
teach me to control this flesh
seeking only self-fulfillment
and self-preservation,
let others see You through me,
remove anything
that is not of You;

let me be a son
of the living God.

Thank you my Lord,
I cannot make it without You,
I cannot live without You,
I cannot breathe without You,
You are my King,
You are my Lord,

You are my EVERYTHING!!!!
.
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