Forever Gone

on a day such as this,
anything is possible,
everything is sharp and crystal clear,
holding your hand,
tomorrow is bright, stretching on forever,
death just a temporary inconvenience,
suffering a forgotten foe;

Friday night memories,
endless rivers, lost in depths
forever gone;

I am free.
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Through it All

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”   John 14:6-7

I have been on both sides of the fence,

I have been everywhere in-between;

physically,

emotionally,

spiritually,

financially;

I have worked for hundreds

of thousands of dollars,

I have worked for minimum wage,

I have tasted a life of privilege,

I have known the hopelessness

of poverty;

I have witnessed first hand,

the devastation of losing

everything;

I have worked at a desk,

using only my mind and fingers,

I have worked back-breaking jobs

no one should have to do;

I have seen people at their best,

I have seen people at their worst;

I have entered dark places from

which very few survive,

I have stood on the edge,

as the god of this world

quietly whispered in my ear;

“just one more step”;

I have seen demons,

dark and evil,

drive past in a car,

as I rode a bike

down the road;

laughing,

mocking;

I have talked with an angel,

her name was Vena,

she held my hand

as I lay in a hospital bed

having a heart attack;

I have seen people destroyed

by the very things from which

I was saved;

through it all,

You have been there

for as long as I can

remember,

quietly watching,

softly calling,

patiently waiting,

through it all You have

lifted me up when I could not

stand on my own,

saving me when no one

else could,

protecting me when no one

else would,

through it all You have

given me an education

that no college could provide,

no amount of money

could buy,

teaching me humility

and compassion,

helping me to stand,

allowing me to fall,

showing me the illusion

surrounding this world,

the lies that trap so many

who do not even know

they are trapped;

no one makes it out of this life

without You,

no one comes to the Father

but though You.

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Opposition

in a dream,

they gathered at the border,

old, young,

women, children,

frightened,

confused,

tears in their eyes,

fear on their faces,

mother’s begging,

father’s pleading;

passage denied;

the jets roared in from the west,

low and fast,

sleek and shining,

guns blazing,

rockets streaking;

running,

screaming,

crying,

mass extermination,

total annihilation,

complete death,

opposition crushed;

deplorable no more.

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SON

somewhere

he waits,

and I listen,

as the silence

grows painfully louder;

SON;

I wish I could tell you

that you’re mine,

but you’re not,

and never were,

but still,

there is that bond,

and I guess

that’s the way

it will always be;

SON;

I wish I could show you

the beauty

of your shining sisters smiles,

I imagine

you must be

very much like they are,

except they are mine

and you are not,

and never will be;

SON;

I make no excuses,

for the things

that took place,

and I wouldn’t have any

even if I did,

to be honest,

it didn’t have a thing

to do with you,

as hollow as it may sound,

it’s just the way

things worked out,

but still I remember,

which is more

than I left to you.

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To My Unborn Son

old memories,

too painful to remember,

realization of what was done,

on that day so long ago,

choices made in the blink of an eye,

decisions decided,

which will last a lifetime;

looking at our daughter,

I think,

he could have been like her,

proud and strong,

a warrior facing life,

confident and unafraid,

or he could have been

plain and ordinary,

either way,

he would have been

a brother,

he would have been

a son,

but most of all,

he would have been

loved;

if only he’d been

given a chance.

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Only the Wind Remains

your beauty fades,

the darkness of night

does approach,

there is no truth left,

no more hope before

the dawn,

this moment of ordinary

clarity disappears,

chance encounters inside

realms of creative laughter;

another answer,

another possibility;

only the wind remains;

words flow like delicate swans,

wrapping themselves in

royal robes of comfort,

deep within the sound of

your breath,

soft and secure,

speaking unknown mysteries and

telling tales of untold valor,

staggering like drunken sailors on

maiden voyages,

weaving inside blurred lines

of forgotten innocence,

lost upon midnight dreams,

unable to grasp even the

fundamentals;

the window is closing;

the time almost here,

the silence roars without a sound,

the hour upon which it

stands grows near;

only the wind remains;

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The Face of True Evil

For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants also masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.   2 Corinthians 11:13-15

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.   Isaiah 5:20

true evil has no face,

it shifts,

it moves,

swaying back and forth,

like grains of desert sand

in a gently blowing wind,

quietly infiltrating its way

into minds and souls,

silently settling in high and

mighty places,

enticing,

alluring;

irresistible;

the ultimate chameleon,

making changes so subtle,

they are barely perceptible,

taking shape without worry or care,

then magically disappearing,

into the thin night air,

changing evil into good,

changing good into evil;

deception in the name of innocence;

true evil has no face,

it goes by many names;

eminent domain,

manifest destiny,

god and country,

true religion,

the chosen race,

national pride,

the final solution;

to name a few;

when it has come and gone,

none but a few even realize

it has passed their way

at all.

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In The Morning

in the morning,

I remember a simpler time,

a sweeter life,

warm Florida mornings,

with air so pure

you could taste the promise

with every breath;

but none of it compares

with You;

who can speak of Your

wondrous glory and light?

what words can describe

the magnitude of

Your mercy and grace?

what sounds may be uttered

that reflect the majesty

of Your perfect love?

rain Your spirit down on me,

open my mind and eyes,

illuminate my soul,

let me find the words

which glorify

Your holy name;

lead me

when I am blind,

remind me

when I forget,

show me

that without You

I am lost;

without You,

I can do nothing at all;

restore the joy,

remove the darkness,

heal the damage,

open my eyes,

fill me with Your love,

let me shine

with Your light;

bring me home

to You.

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Anyway

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.   1 John 4:10

in the morning I search for Your light,

amidst the pre-dawn blackness,

it burns like a beacon in the night,

showing the way to freedom,

guiding the path to life;

Lord, I love You because

You loved me first,

when I broke Your heart,

You loved me anyway,

when I deserved only punishment,

You loved me anyway,

when I helped nail You to that cross;

You loved me anyway;

I stumble and fall,

You pick me up once again,

I run and hide,

You patiently stand waiting,

I spread seeds of hatred and doubt;

You love me anyway;

no one knows the struggle,

no one understands the darkness,

no one feels the emptiness,

but You;

and even though no one else sees,

it is enough that You do.

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Gulf Shores, 9 November 2010

in the morning,

we walk the beach in silence,

hand in hand,

bathed in sunlight,

surrounded by a blue, cloudless sky,

waves lapping rhythmically,

hypnotic,

echoing the heartbeat of life;

this must be heaven;

images and words

flow like electric current;

“I should have brought something to write with,” I tell her,

“I’ve written an entire poem in my head

but I’ll never remember it.”

I’ve lost so many that way,

slipping through my fingers

like liquid glass;

gone forever;

we watch a pod of dolphins,

fishing just off shore,

slowly breaking the surface,

bobbing and weaving,

the way it has been

for thousands of years,

the talk on the news is about

oil, economic crises and recovery,

but the dolphins don’t seem to care;

and neither do I.

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eventually

I cannot go where you are, in

this land of impossible perfection,

this home of beautiful dreams and

never ending fantasies, where

tears do not fall;

a world for others;

not us;

in the morning I watch your face

for the last time,

we both know words

will never be enough;

everything ends,

everything is temporary,

everything just an illusion,

always just a touch

beyond possibility,

always a bit more

than can be imagined;

this great sorrow,

this magnificent sadness,

this other reality;

eventually truth catches up

with us all.

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yin and yang

technical things are easy,

they have hard and fast rules,

well defined limits and borders,

intricate calculations and set points,

it is the soft, dark, subtle things of the soul

which are difficult,

they have no borders,

no limits,

except for those imposed by the reality

of that which is seen,

that which can be heard,

that which is known,

it becomes very difficult,

when those limits and borders are crossed,

when the edge is reached and you are standing

at the vast black hole existing in the outer lands,

places beyond reality,

beyond that which is seen,

that which is heard,

that which is known;

I paid a visit to the edge last night,

staring at the one who dwells just beyond the divide,

searching for answers to limits and reality

and choices between one or the other,

in the morning I found what I was seeking,

it was waiting in my soul as it always is,

it told me that there were no choices required,

it reminded me that in this life

there are never any real choices,

that all things have a reason,

that what will be will be,

that I can have her in my soul,

and the life I have been given,

which is what she had been trying to tell me all along,

that darkness needs light,

just as light needs darkness,

that everything is about balance,

that everything is;

yin and yang.

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Delusion

For the secret power of lawlessness is already at work; but the one who now holds it back will continue to do so till he is taken out of the way. And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will overthrow with the breath of his mouth and destroy by the splendor of his coming. The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with the work of Satan displayed in all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders, and in every sort of evil that deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.   II Thessalonians 2:7-12

Therefore in one day her plagues will overtake her; death, mourning and famine. She will be consumed by fire, for mighty is the Lord God who judges her.   Revelation 18:8

the joy does end,

here in this land

of limited sun,

cold hearted and alone,

forsaken and forgotten,

the gate is closing,

the gap is narrowing,

the light is starting to

disappear,

there are things bigger

than life,

bigger than death;

bigger than dreams;

even now they mock,

twisting the truth,

creating monuments of self-glory,

worshiping idols of their own doing,

maligning anyone and everything,

laughing at the misery and suffering,

exploiting the helpless and weak,

drowning in self-proclaimed wisdom,

unable to understand truth,

incapable of anything more

than what they are,

refusing to see past themselves,

seeking life, liberty and the pursuit

of perpetual pleasure,

blinded by their superiority,

wallowing in the fantasy,

delighting in the delusion;

finding comfort in the lie.

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Forever Gone

we are all terminal,

waiting for a final diagnosis;

transients living transitory lives,

making temporary arrangements

in a temporary world,

deciding on choices and decisions,

which fade like the early morning mist;

the choice is not ours;

this is not the life

I wanted it to be,

not the man

I thought I would be,

not the person I pretend to be,

some unknown creature,

lost and far away,

surrounded by unseen chains and bars,

the past

forever gone;

the pain grows deeper,

the suffering more intense,

the nighttime darkness closes in,

the silence quietly returns,

doors close without mercy;

we reap what we sow;

searching for a Way,

trusting in the Truth,

waiting for the Light;

today a new day dawned,

the evil dying or dead,

You have restored all that was lost,

You have pulled me from this

prison of self-absorption,

the misery

forever gone.

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Out On The Fringe

out on the fringe,

there are no easy roads;

they all look the same;

words become blurred,

friends become foes,

no one knows the darkness,

no one understands the loss;

no one sees the damage;

out on the fringe,

babies die before they are born,

seeds are destroyed before they

have taken root,

thorns choke without compassion or mercy,

players die without ever

getting in the game;

everything is lost;

out on the fringe,

failure is not an option,

it is a guarantee;

still there is the hope,

waiting for the change,

holding on to the possibility;

all things are possible

for You;

even this.

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Life

in the morning,

before the doubt,

before the poison,

anything is possible,

the world is bright and new,

fresh and alive,

but then like the morning

it is gone,

as reality sets in;

I wait outside her domain

like a dog in heat,

I listen to her voice

pounding within,

like ocean waves

on a dark angry night,

she holds me in arms

of shifting winds,

without shape or form;

life is full of so much wasted time,

wide open spaces and moments

in between the only ones that count,

long drawn out hours of insufferable

boredom, highlighted by seconds of

indescribable  pleasure;

life is a never ending orgasm,

working and struggling,

building and rising,

working for just one

short burst,

one quick release;

I want a place to hide,

a shelter from the storm,

safety in the wilderness,

a home within the night;.

what words can be said for this?

what salvation, what mercy,

what redemption?

there are places

where hope does not walk,

places where love has no home,

where light does not shine,

truth does not speak,

down here words fail,

seasons become blurred;

we come so close,

reaching and touching,

knowing and seeing,

hearing and feeling,

so close,

yet so impossibly far,

flowing like underground rivers,

hidden, alone;

silent;

fires burn bright,

stars blaze through the night,

yet we see only shadows,

moving through rising tides,

surviving extravagant excess,

hiding among the corners,

day after day we wait,

as miles become like dead stones,

wrapped around the necks

of fools and lovers,

hour by hour we survive,

selling flesh inch by inch,

smiling at reflections in the dust,

crumbling before the edges

with nothing in return.

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Everything I Need

walking in the darkness,

the pain grows stronger,

becoming more than I think

my body can bear,

with every breath, with every step,

You teach me the value of mercy,

You show me the price of suffering;

You are the potter,

I am just the clay,

even though I have nothing,

with You I have everything I need;

this body fades,

time turns everything into rust,

being with You is all that matters,

walking with You all that I desire,

glorifying Your name my only purpose,

serving You my only mission;

You are the potter,

I am just the clay,

even though I have nothing,

with You I have everything I need;

Lord I am so close,

look down on me now,

see the humility of my heart,

know the sorrow contained within,

remove the darkness,

save me from the sadness,

fill me with Your love,

lift me into Your arms;

every hour,

every minute,

every second,

everything I have,

belongs to You;

You are the potter,

I am just the clay,

even though I have nothing,

with You I have everything I need.

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Psalm 103

Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed. He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel: The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children— with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts. The LORD has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all. Praise the LORD, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word. Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts, you his servants who do his will. Praise the LORD, all his works everywhere in his dominion. Praise the LORD, my soul.   Psalm 103:1-22

when I turn to You,

light comes pouring in,

darkness slips away,

hope rises within;

I am set free;

You are a sweet summer breeze,

a clear mountain stream,

a warm, gentle touch,

innocence and purity;

truth complete;

as far as the east is from the west,

have You removed my transgressions from me,

as a father has compassion on his child,

have You had compassion on me;

through Your unfathomable sacrifice,

have I been redeemed from the dead,

by Your mercy and grace,

has my soul been restored;

forever shall I belong to You,

forever shall I sing of Your greatness,

forever shall I praise Your name,

forever shall I love You above all others;

let Your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven,

remove all that is not of You,

cleanse the filth and iniquity,

abiding within this imperfect temple,

make me into a new creation;

fill me with Your love;

You are my strength,

You are my rock,

You are my comfort and joy,

You are my God;

You are my Everything.

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Walking Through The Valley

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.   Psalm 23:1-6

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.   Ephesians 6:12

once again,

I enter this dark place,

this cold, empty, deserted place,

this place from which most

never return,

my enemies wait outside,

gloating over the misery,

laughing within at the naivety,

mocking from afar,

standing firm in their ‘moral’

and ‘intellectual’ superiority,

waiting for the fall;

once again,

You stand by my side,

letting me know You

will always be there,

helping me to rise when

so many others would not,

softly reminding me that

I never have anything to fear;

“Don’t be afraid, just believe”

once again,

You prepare me for

a battle most will

never see,

in a war that

rages continuously,

around everyone

and everything,

rescuing me from places

which no man could overcome;

teaching me that through You

I can do all things.

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American Media

American Media – proof that in today's age of sophisticated mass communications, if you say something often enough, or loud enough, eventually it becomes truth to the masses, whether it has any factual basis or not.

“Look at the nations and watch – and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.”   Habakkuk 1:5

Will not all of them taunt him with ridicule and scorn saying, “Woe to him who piles up stolen goods and makes himself wealthy by extortion! How long must this go on?” Will not your debtors suddenly arise? Will they not wake up and make you tremble? Then you will become their victim. Because you have plundered many nations, the people who are left will plunder you. For you have shed man’s blood, you have destroyed lands and cities and everyone in them. “Woe to him who builds his realm by unjust gain to set his nest on high, to escape the clutches of ruin! You have plotted the ruin of many peoples, shaming your own house and forfeiting your life. The stones of the wall will cry out, and the beams of the woodwork will echo it. Woe to him who builds a city with bloodshed and establishes a town by crime!”   Habakkuk 2:6-12

America, land of mindless sheep,

led by corrupt shepherds,

full of deceit and hidden agendas,

running to and fro, blindly searching for

the latest ‘miracle’ cure,

spending all their time and money,

listening to anyone offering answers,

speaking lies disguised as truth,

slaves to their greatest fears;

a land beyond promise or hope;

seeking shelter from the gathering storm,

not willing to accept the consequences,

unable to confess the guilt,

killing in the name of justice,

denying the greed and self-preservation,

turning a blind eye to the haves

against the have-nots,

deciding who is right and who is wrong,

deciding who lives and who dies,

a land of hypocrisy and dry bones,

dying before they are dead;

trapped within chains

of their own making.

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