The Setting Sun

there is a nastiness in the rain,

cold and numbing,

brutally reminding its victims

there are no longer any friends,

no more refuge,

against the endless, mindless world

existing within;

on tv they are arguing about

Presidential whores,

while two hundred million

are just trying to make it;

one more day;

pretending and praying,

it will all just go away,

that it will be as it once was,

fresh and alive,

something new,

nubile innocence,

lighting up the scarlet night;

but there is only death;

here below,

where even the mightiest lose their will,

the sun is setting

for the very last time.

.

.

The Speed of Sound

living life at the speed of sound,

it gets hard to remember what is real,

these disguises that I wear,

make it tough to know what I actually feel;

been moving so fast,

never had time to count the years,

I just keep on laughing in the rain,

so no one can see the tears;

there were so many women,

I always knew they’d go,

like falling autumn leaves,

when winter’s wind begins to blow;

waited for so long,

waiting for that special one,

like the darkness of the night,

waiting for the early morning sun;

the moment I saw you walking down the street,

I knew that one was you,

and though I never said it,

in my eyes you could see it too;

maybe it was a little too late,

I’d just waited for too long,

and when I finally found you,

I didn’t have the strength to be strong;

it’s so sad;

when you finally find one you could love,

only to find there’s nothing left to give,

and thoughts of what could have been,

is all you’ll ever have,

for the rest of the life you live./////

My Sister-In-Law is a Whore

my sister-in-law is a whore,

and the town drunk;

it wasn’t always this way;

I remember when she was young and beautiful,

not the tired, worn out, old woman she is now,

wild and free like the breeze,

full of laughter and excitement,

making the blood flow hot in every guy,

as she teased and captivated,

always the center of attention;

like a queen holding court

before her loyal subjects;

I knew my sister-in-law,

long before I married her sister,

and when the bar lights came on

at the end of the night,

I was right there with all the other hypnotized,

horny bastards, praying to be the one she went home with,

but time caught up with her,

as she refused to give in,

living each day for drugs, sex and rock n roll,

the laughter started sounding more like a cackle,

than some musical melody,

and no one had much tolerance,

for a loud, foul mouthed, old hag,

with spotted, yellow skin,

and rotten, missing teeth;

but every now and then,

I close my eyes and smile at the memories,

remembering that there was a time

when we were both much better;

and I realize just how much

I loved that drunken old whore.

.

.

Just Believe

Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler “Don’t be afraid; Just believe.”   Mark 5:36

in the middle of the night I awake,

gripped with fear,

overcome by the immensity,

afraid of the unknown road ahead,

thinking of all the possible dangers,

unable to control even the smallest detail,

completely inadequate and out of control,

heading on a collision course with disaster;

then I remember the places from where I have come,

all the doors that have been opened,

all the chains which have been removed,

the love and grace that has brought me to this place,

and I hear His soft, cool voice,

gently whispering in the nighttime darkness;

“Don’t be afraid, just believe.”

the fear fades away,

the doubt dissolves into nothing,

the darkness turns to light,

there is only love,

there is only Him;

and that is all that matters;

in the deepest depths,

on the highest heights,

He is there,

guiding my path,

showing the way;

The Friend who stands by my side

closer than a brother,

the King who laid down His life

that I might live;

the One who I will love

forever.

.

.

The Edge

I want to explore

the edge,

where no man goes,

and from which

no man returns,

I no longer wish

to be held back,

by places and things

that are safe

and warm,

I want to soar

to heights unknown,

caverns hidden from sight,

where creatures of the night

prowl and hunt,

as majestic gods

look down in pity,

upon frightened herds

running

from their own slaughter,

I seek a truth

that is more truthful

than that

which is offered,

by the distorted

twisted words,

of those who seek only the obvious,

oh yes,

give it all

to this simple

single wanderer;

throw it all away,

give it all back,

come run with me,

through fields of crimson fire,

caress the eternal beast,

and drink

with the thirst

of a thousand dying men;

even if for a moment.

.

.

Tell Them (12/08/03)

feel me now,

that you might know;

tell them who I was so that they may know,

tell them I was a lost and forgotten brother of the eternal flame,

a dry empty flask of flesh, filled with defiled innocent blood,

a quiet whisper in the wind, from which there is no rest,

a drifting soul of passion, with a hot burning thirst;

which can never be filled;

tell them who I was so that they may know,

that they may see that there was more,

than this cosmic shackled clown into which I was turned,

this bright speckled feathered beast upon which vultures feed;

tell them I was more;

that I was a sailor sailing into the gentle setting sun,

on eternal ships of blazing fire and steel,

adrift upon blue forgotten seas, where only few have been,

a lonely lonesome traveler, traveling down lost endless roads,

ruled by the darkness of a thousand nights,

hidden in ancient temples,

where children of belligerent gods play,

giving thanks to idols of leisure,

that they might be safe in soft warm beds of gold;

yes,

tell them;

that I was a lover,

a brother,

a son,

a man;

a poet.

.

,

The Last Emperor

the great American dream is dying,

this mysterious myth slowly fades;

say a prayer for the last emperor,

he has fallen and cannot be found,

echoes of far off victory’s song,

provide the nights only remaining sound,

survivors scream out for one last feast,

ignoring clouds of dark misery,

feeding upon themselves

like mad, crazed. wild beasts,

they have become saturated,

oblivious to the solitary silent cry,

scavengers patiently wait,

hidden in their vast glass monuments to the future,

dreaming of out of court settlements and insurance claims,

silently sliding into the concrete masses,

with neither a whimper or a growl;

fear not my child;

dreams rise and dreams fall,

burdens are great and burdens are small;

we all begin,

we all end,

in between matters not;

who has lost or who has won?

only the effort put forth until it is done;

say a prayer for the last emperor,

he has fallen and cannot be found,

echoes of far off victory’s song,

provide the nights only remaining sound;

ye must overcome.

.

.

The Light of the World

I have ran a marathon,

but what is that now?

once the old dog down the street,

humped for two days straight,

does that make him any less decrepit

or wasted?

life does not stand still,

that is not the way of things,

vision is nothing but tomorrows memories,

as reality is lost on the cutting room floor;

we spend our lives waiting

for yesterdays dreams;

standing here today,

poised on the verge of immortal madness,

such strange new beasts these are,

ready to devour the earth,

the moon,

the stars;

the light of the world has gone out,

leaving it cold and dark.

.

.

Play Ball

back at home,

it’s business as usual,

waiting for the game to begin;

looks like there will be a slight

rain delay;

a technological mind

feels clean and sharp,

with no room for rough edges or

hidden pockets of fog,

cold and impersonal,

a machine without a soul;

sometimes it gets hard

to make the transition,

there are gears to be shifted,

internal clocks to be reset,

all sorts of calibrations and calculations

to be performed;

it’s not always easy

to put the beast back in its cage,

once it has tasted freedom,

you’ve got to keep it on a short leash,

if you expect to stop it

from devouring everything in sight;

looks like a break in the clouds,

as they roll up the tarp,

and the players take the field;

Play Ball!!

.

.

Help Me to Forget

help me

to forget,

for a little while;

I have become that

which I despise,

a technician

of depraved technology,

a slave

to a corrupt system,

a friend

of a degenerate society;

a clown;

with the soul

of a beast;

help me

to forget;

for just

a little while;

let me soar,

let me remember

quieter days,

simpler nights,

lost civilizations,

where men are judged

by the content

of their soul,

not

a number

on a piece of paper;

help me to forget.

.

.

These Words

I sometimes wonder why I continue

writing these words down,

they have never earned me a dime,

never brought any notoriety or fame,

I have never had a clue where they come from,

or when they will come,

what they will say or why they say it,

they have a life of their own,

an ancient mystery, complete with their

own laws and consequences;

there is a price to be paid for these words,

a burning sadness that never quits,

a deep, lonely emptiness, quietly devouring

everything in its path, bringing you to the edge

of a dark bottomless chasm,

where untold millions flow like liquid truth

into the oblivion below without return;

they have almost destroyed me

more than once;

you have to be ready,

they come and go like ghosts,

rising from unimaginable depths,

crystal clear like glass,

bobbing and floating,

creating or destroying,

slowly sinking back into

the night without any advance

warning or consideration;

you have to be ready;

these words wait for no one,

they survive beyond this lump

of flesh we call home,

they breathe long after

we take our last breath;

these words are forever.

.

.

A Day at the Mall

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.1 John 2:15-17

He also told them this parable: “Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into a pit? The student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher.   Luke 6:39-40

I look at the latest gadgets,

the coolest toys,

the ultimate possessions;

all I see are things;

pieces of trash,

dead,

useless,

plastic,

lifeless;

my soul yearns for more,

my soul yearns for You;

I have spoken the words

You gave me,

I have shared the truth

You taught me;

I am tired,

I am worn,

there is nothing left,

nothing I desire;

I am ready for what

comes next;

blind guides leading the blind,

in love with the sound

of their own voices,

lost within the illusion,

deceived by their own vanity,

fading fountains of mist,

disappearing clouds of vapor;

here today,

gone tomorrow;

bring me home to You.

.

.

Experienced

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.   Philippians 4:12-13

have you ever been experienced? – Jimi Hendrix

the overwhelming hunger fades, the cruel,

dark night disappears, rolling like a soft, ocean wave,

into far off, distant shores, gone forever;

all your life, searching, wandering, waiting,

a prisoner of fear, a slave to desires, without fulfillment,

without satisfaction, without destination,

released by the Master, pardoned by the King;

set free by the truth;

nothing more to prove, nothing more to obtain,

the evening train awaits, the light shines bright ahead,

the dawn breaks clear, the battle already won,

the path leads to home;

I am ready.

.

.

No Other

I am the LORD, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God. I will strengthen you, though you have not acknowledged me, so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting people may know there is none besides me. I am the LORD, and there is no other. I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things.   Isaiah 45:5-7

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power.   I Corinthians 4:20

the empty highway looms ahead,

stretching on forever, no end in sight,

destinations unknown, distant and unexplored,

staring mindlessly ahead, missing the thrill of the open road,

missing the isolation of the high mountain trails,

missing the taste of a young girl’s lips,

the breathless excitement in her eyes,

the feel of her quivering anticipation;

understanding things that no longer are;

it does not matter, the past is gone,

the only truth left, shining brightly ahead,

the small, still voice, speaking deeply within,

opening your eyes, revealing things

you could never have imagined,

incomprehensible things, things of beauty, things of truth,

knowledge for which words have no expression,

leaving you humbled and in awe;

God is power,

forming the light, creating darkness,

bringing prosperity, allowing disaster,

not bold, foolish talk, not man-made traditions,

not a better way of living, not a philosophy,

far beyond anything our limited minds can comprehend,

healing the sick, giving sight to the blind,

raising the dead to life;

God is power.

.

.

Slaves

We are all slaves whether we realize it or not. You cannot be alive in this life without being a slave. Slaves to our jobs, slaves to fear, slaves to emotions, slaves to food, slaves to thirst, slaves to our bodies, slaves to all the things that make up survival. True freedom only comes when we are no longer subjects to survival.

            Imagine being a slave all your life, then dying and simply ceasing to exist, or worse yet being punished eternally for something all mankind is guilty of. I cannot think of anything more tragic or cruel than that. Living only to die, being a slave without hope of anything better. Fortunately we are creations of a God who understands how we are created, what a cruel and unusual punishment life would be if this was all there was. God did not intend for our lives to be this way. But rather than make us subservient to his every thought and will He created us with a will of our own. He allowed us to choose what path we would go down as human beings, and as a result of deceit we chose the path of sin. Once sin entered the world that God had intended for us to live in, there was no way to return to God or the perfect world He had created. God did not forget us however, He created a remedy for the choice we made. This remedy was for every human being who has been alive, for all who came before and all who would come after, the first and the last. That remedy was the sacrifice of His only begotten Son, on a cross that was foretold by prophets hundreds of years before it happened, before Rome and crucifixion had ever been thought of. This sacrifice was for the forgiveness of sin, that whosoever accepted this sacrifice would escape the penalty for sin, which is death. 

            This life does not hold the answer. This life is momentary and temporary, fading like the mist. You have the choice to decide if you want to live your entire life as a slave or be truly free, in this life, and when it is over. If you hear the voice of the Holy Spirit do not harden your heart.

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.   Revelation 3:20

As has just been said: “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion.”   Hebrews 3:15

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.   Romans 10:9

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.   John 3:16-17

Peace

By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.   Exodus 13:21

there is a peace here,

a simple elegant acceptance,

a quiet gentle calmness,

never felt before;

You are preparing me,

and I am ready;

everyday it builds a little more,

everyday a little stronger than before,

no more worry,

no more doubt,

no more fear;

Your cloud leads me forward,

Your fire lights the way,

showing me when to move,

telling me when to rest,

protecting me from the rear;

I fall down in awe before You,

there is nothing more I can do,

I put all my trust in You,

there is no other way;

You are the first,

You are the last,

You are everything.

.

.

Past Due

Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come you who are blessed by my father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you? The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine you did for me.’ Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you? He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’   Matthew 25:34-46

now it begins;

no more excuses,

no more pretending,

no more room for denial;

you watched as my children

lay dying,

broken and bleeding,

naked and alone,

crying out for justice and mercy,

you smiled as I suffered,

you laughed while I was beaten,

you turned your backs

as I slowly starved,

your pursuit of pleasure and

perpetual comfort has made

you soft and weak,

your greed has crushed you,

your delusions of grandeur

and self-importance have

blinded you,

your lack of understanding

and compassion has sealed

your fate,

your denial of truth has

damned you;

your leaders have abandoned

you to the grave;

now it begins;

your time has come,

payment is past due.

.

.

Past Due

Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come you who are blessed by my father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you? The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine you did for me.’ Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you? He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’   Matthew 25:34-46

now it begins;

no more excuses,

no more pretending,

no more room for denial;

you watched as my children

lay dying,

broken and bleeding,

naked and alone,

crying out for justice and mercy,

you smiled as I suffered,

you laughed while I was beaten,

you turned your backs

as I slowly starved,

your pursuit of pleasure and

perpetual comfort has made

you soft and weak,

your greed has crushed you,

your delusions of grandeur

and self-importance have

blinded you,

your lack of understanding

and compassion has sealed

your fate,

your denial of truth has

damned you;

your leaders have abandoned

you to the grave;

now it begins;

your time has come,

payment is past due.

.

.

Past Due

Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come you who are blessed by my father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you? The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine you did for me.’ Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you? He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’   Matthew 25:34-46

now it begins;

no more excuses,

no more pretending,

no more room for denial;

you watched as my children

lay dying,

broken and bleeding,

naked and alone,

crying out for justice and mercy,

you smiled as I suffered,

you laughed while I was beaten,

you turned your backs

as I slowly starved,

your pursuit of pleasure and

perpetual comfort has made

you soft and weak,

your greed has crushed you,

your delusions of grandeur

and self-importance have

blinded you,

your lack of understanding

and compassion has sealed

your fate,

your denial of truth has

damned you;

your leaders have abandoned

you to the grave;

now it begins;

your time has come,

payment is past due.

.

.

The Only Way Out

“The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:25

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6

I am tired,

really tired;

tired of fighting to

prove my worth,

tired of trying to be

something I will never be,

tired of caring what

the world thinks of me,

tired of being afraid,

tired of wondering what

tomorrow might bring,

tired of being a slave,

tired of the fantasies

and illusions most live under,

tired of listening to the

self-righteous, stick your head

in the sand, I’m ok,

you’re ok, look at me,

aren’t I special individuals,

who think that this world,

and the people in it

are basically good;

because they’re not;

human history

has proven that

over and over again;

this world was broke

a long time ago, and

there is only One Way

it will ever be fixed,

it will take a power

far beyond anything

this world will ever

possess.

truth?

real truth does not

change,

it never has,

it never will,

it is absolute,

it is irrevocable

it is final,

it is beyond human

comprehension or thought,

it is a rock upon which

all who fall will be broken,

and all upon whom it falls

will be crushed,

only man-made truth

changes with the wind,

bouncing from one

theory to another,

one self-created god

to the next;

what sad, pathetic fools

we truly are,

created with so much

potential,

yet settling for so much

less,

selling out for a few brief

moments of pleasure,

caving in to fears and desires,

trading truth for myth,

light for darkness;

life for death;

there is only;

One hope,

One truth,

One way:

a light set upon a hill,

an escape,

a reprieve,

a small, still voice in the

cold, dark night,

do not harden your heart;

do not turn away from the only

way out of this life.

.

.

Trap

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.   Ecclesiastes 1:9

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.   Proverbs 3:5-8

the fear grows,

the panic sets in,

another tyrant,

another war,

another group of

evil doers;

pointing fingers,

assigning blame,

passing judgment,

plotting retribution,

giving in to emotions,

deceived by the illusion;

falling into the trap;

nothing has changed,

nothing is new,

just a different name,

just another place,

what sad, pathetic fools

we are;

blinded by our own self-worth,

slaves to our preconceived ideas,

prisoners of our dying flesh,

controlled by our irrational fears,

forever repeating history,

forever trusting in our imperfect

and limited comprehension;

forever falling into the trap;

everyday Your grace begins anew,

everyday You open the door,

everyday You help me to rise,

everyday You teach me more.

.

.

What Love Really Is

some get it,

most don’t,

they think they do,

but they don’t,

their comments and words

give them away,

but it really is ok,

some of the time

I don’t get it either,

I just put on a knowing look,

and pretend with all the rest,

not knowing is bad enough,

admitting that you don’t know

even worse;

it does get hard though,

listening to all the know-it-alls

and self-proclaimed experts,

rambling on and on about

this and that,

as you patiently listen, nod

and smile,

all the while wondering

what you will eat for dinner

when you get home,

or why the One who

does know all,

puts up with all the

vanity and bullshit;

why He doesn’t just

speak and make it all

go away;

it’s realizations like this,

when you begin to understand,

what love really is.

.

.

Ice Cream and Patti Smith

I used to run marathons and hike

12 miles up into the mountains;

now I just want a bowl of ice cream;

life has very little to offer

anymore.

I bought what I thought

was a Patti Smith CD today,

it was used and priced at only $4.99,

it was only when I got home

that I realized it was Patty Smyth,

some 1980’s pop star,

not the poet;

I threw it into the trash;

Patti Smith (the poet),

has always fascinated me,

I think she’s one of the

most beautiful women

on the planet,

strong yet vulnerable,

a pioneer of the unknown,

putting it all on the line,

one of a handful,

brave enough

to venture into the shit,

so decent people like us

don’t have to;

an amazing individual;

later I got in my truck

and drove to the store;

time for that bowl

of ice cream.

.

.

Imperfection

When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will catch men.” So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him. Luke 5:8-11

Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.” Mark 5:36

my soul has tasted madness,

my soul lies dying in the dust,

choking on the excess,

drowning in the lust,

caught up in the illusion,

dried up,

empty,

no where left to turn,

no where left to run,

guilty as charged;

once again You

raise me from the depths,

once again You

wrap me in Your love,

Your righteousness and glory

more than my filth ridden flesh

can bear,

Your perfection

overwhelming the imperfection

of all that I am;

Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!

once again You quietly whisper;

Don’t be afraid; just believe.

my God,

my King,

my Everything.

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now it begins

When he opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.   Revelations 8:1

night does approach,

dreams do fade,

silence awaits,

time no more;

now it begins;

love fades,

hypocrisy rises,

iniquity abounds,

self-proclaimed children of light,

fingers of judgment,

objects of wrath,

calm,

cool,

arrogant;

no mourning,

no shame,

no remorse,

sitting as a queen;

in one day her plagues

will overtake her.

.

.

dreams

who is right and

who is wrong?

I am like a beached whale;

struggling,

turning,

pulsing,

heaving,

fighting,

rolling,

rising,

falling;

and who is right,

and who is wrong?

the silence remains,

undisguised,

unspoken,

forgotten,

hiding behind

darkened windows,

shadows within the

night,

silky smooth,

hot and bothered,

passionately pure,

blends of this,

shades of that,

pieces of the

unfinished puzzle,

none of it real,

none of it genuine,

none of it true;

who is right and

who is wrong?

within these walls

are many tales,

much laughter,

rivers of sorrow,

oceans of tears,

pools of sadness,

victims drowning

within their own blood;

we are all right,

we are all wrong;

winners and losers,

fighters and failures,

lovers and haters,

innocent and guilty,

doomed and redeemed;

together;

this is all there is,

this is all we have;

I cannot dream

what I do not know,

I cannot know

what I do not dream.

.

.

grieve

I would do it;

but the finality of it all

stands in the way;

the uncertainty;

the hesitation;

sometimes I think,

this is the way it should be,

all the time;

beyond feeling,

beyond caring,

beyond knowing,

beyond rewrites and

perfection,

beyond judgment,

beyond misery,

beyond charades,

beyond lies,

beyond self-delusion;

beyond love and fantasy,

beyond wondering and doubt;

beyond self;

every denial demands

atonement,

every question requires

an answer,

for every gift

there is a price,

for everything worth having

there is a cost;

I wish it were not so,

I wish there was another way;

madness rules,

darkness lights the way,

You are all that is left

at the end of the day,

there are things

bigger than ourselves,

beyond thinking or reason,

there are things that

matter most,

there are things that define

who we are,

the miles go by,

the years pass,

the end is near;

soon enough,

soon enough;

this poverty has

another face,

another kind of soul,

quiet and alone,

frightened and confused,

suicide can be so blind,

nothing more than

a whisper,

spitting and sputtering,

laughing and pretending;

you cannot love anyone,

until you have learned

to grieve for everyone.

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Next

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”   Matthew 14:28-33

one more lesson,

one more obstacle,

one more weakness,

one more time, I begin

to sink below the surface;

once again, You grasp

my hand,

once again, You pull

me from the depths,

once again, You teach me

to overcome,

once again, Your power sets

me free;

the world continues on,

wars and rumors of wars,

death and destruction,

joy and laughter,

greed and self-satisfaction,

vanity and pride;

none of that matters now,

the flesh slowly dies,

only a fading mist,

a disappearing shadow,

I am finished with it all,

there is nothing more

I need,

there is nothing more

I want,

all that matters now is

what comes next,

all that matters now,

is You.

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