Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Sifted



























“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”   Luke 22:31-32
another feeling,
another emotion,
another disappointment,
another lie;
I no longer know,
who or what I am,
I no longer see,
where I belong,
or where I need to be;
the darkness grows,
swallowing everything
in its path;
I can deny myself,
but I cannot deny You,
I can run from everything
and everyone,
but I cannot run from You;
everything I know,
falls away,
everything I am,
becomes less,
everywhere I go,
is nowhere;
there is nothing
without You;
like a light shining
in the night,
You lead me back,
guiding my steps,
restoring the hope,
calming the storm,
providing the only
reassurance I will
ever need;
there is nothing
without You.
.
.


Trap


















What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.   Ecclesiastes 1:9
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.   Proverbs 3:5-8
the fear grows,
the panic sets in,
another tyrant,
another war,
another group of
evil doers;
pointing fingers,
assigning blame,
passing judgment,
plotting retribution,
giving in to emotions,
deceived by the illusion;
falling into the trap;
nothing has changed,
nothing is new,
just a different name,
just another place,
what sad, pathetic fools
we are;
blinded by our own self-worth,
slaves to our preconceived ideas,
prisoners of our dying flesh,
controlled by our irrational fears,
forever repeating history,
forever trusting in our imperfect
and limited comprehension;
forever falling into the trap;
everyday Your grace begins anew,
everyday You open the door,
everyday You help me to rise,
everyday You teach me more.
.
.



Monday, March 30, 2015

Everything I Need




















walking in the darkness,
the pain grows stronger,
becoming more than I think
my body can bear,
with every breath, You teach
me the value of mercy,
with every step, You show me
the price of suffering;
You are the potter,
I am just the clay,
even though I have nothing,
with You I have everything
I need;
this body fades,
everything turns into rust,
being with You is all that matters,
walking with You all that I desire,
glorifying Your name my only purpose,
serving You my only mission;
You are the potter,
I am just the clay,
even though I have nothing,
with You I have everything
I need;
Lord I am so close,
look down on me now,
see the humility of my heart,
know the sorrow contained within,
remove the darkness,
save me from the sadness,
fill me with Your love,
lift me into Your arms;
every hour,
every minute,
every second,
everything I have,
belongs to You;
You are the potter,
I am just the clay,
even though I have nothing,
with You I have everything
I need.
.

.

Damaged


















To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.   II Corinthians 12:7-10
it’s not easy accepting that you are
permanently damaged,
a cripple,
handicapped,
less than normal;
less than a man;
that you’ll never run again,
never move freely again,
never be fast and agile again,
never be without pain,
never be without suffering;
never be without hardship;
yes, it’s not easy
but you adjust,
you get by,
you take more pills
for the pain,
you learn to move slower,
you accept the inevitable,
you patiently wait for the
collapse,
all the time knowing,
it’s only flesh and blood,
only bone and nerve endings,
only a temporary illusion;
here today,
gone tomorrow;
you think about old girlfriends,
you think about memories
from the past,
you remember 55 yard touchdown runs
and inside the park homeruns,
you remember doing things
others can only dream about,
and you come to the realization
that all-in-all, it’s been a pretty
fair deal,
nothing to cry over,
nothing to be bitter about,
just another speed bump
along the way,
one more trial,
one more test;
one more obstacle
to overcome;
you remember the words
of the apostle Paul,
you remember that he too
toiled and suffered,
you remember that there are things
much bigger in this life,
much more important
than the bodies in which
we are housed;
that His power is made perfect
in weakness;
thank you Jesus,
for Your magnificent
mercy and grace,
thank You for my life,
thank You for making me
a son of the living God,
thank You for the peace and joy
You have placed within my heart,
thank You for the suffering and sacrifice
endured by You for me,
thank You for being my Lord,
thank You for being my King;
thank You for being my Everything.
.

.

Darkness



















And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?   Luke 18:7-8
darkness, all my life I have
known darkness,
I have flirted with it,
I have danced with it,
I have felt its intoxicating touch,
I have watched it destroy
innocent, naive fools,
I have seen it claim victims
without mercy or remorse;
darkness, yes I know darkness,
I have seen its cruelty,
I have known its calculating coldness,
I have hid in the shadows
as it silently passed by,
I have stood at the edge
of its endless abyss,
staring into the eternal blackness,
I have been an unwitting
and unsuspecting witness to its
terrible and irreversible effects,
I have survived when so many others
did not;
yes I have known darkness,
I have seen its writhing, invisible tentacles
slowly spreading across society,
quietly planting seeds of doubt,
secretly robbing the world of faith,
steadily dousing the light,
surely and confidently
waiting for the end.;
soon the darkness shall be no more,
evil shall no longer exist,
the world shall be free,
the light will shine once again,
every tear shall be wiped away;
He who testifies to these things says “Yes I am coming soon.”
Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.     Revelations 22:20
.

.

So Shall I






















it gets harder everyday,
sometimes it feels as though
my bones are on fire,
half the time I’m not sure
if the pain is physical, mental
or spiritual;
or a combination
of all three;
I know it’s the diabetes,
it’s getting serious now,
no more fooling around,
no more slight inconvenience,
it has become the monster
all the experts said it would,
a crazed killer without conscious,
a psychopathic beast who knows
neither mercy or compassion,
devouring everything
in its path;
sometimes I just want
to get a bottle of whiskey,
take a few pills,
put some Billy Gibbons guitar
on the headphones,
make the pain melt away,
drift off into the fog,
never come back,
sometimes I just want to
make it stop,
physically, mentally
and spiritually;
so easy,
so final;
but that would be the easy way,
the path of least resistance,
the broad gate,
the road that leads to destruction;
He is worth more than that;
in the evening darkness
I search for His light,
in the morning silence
I listen for His voice,
He is there by my side,
giving me strength
when there is none,
picking me up
when I am down,
He will not let me fail,
He will not let me give up,
He has defeated this world,
and through Him;
so shall I.
.

.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Sanctuary
















Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed returns to her wallowing in the mud.”   2 Peter 2:22
the touch returns,
the cold black night closes in,
dogs return to their vomit,
sows freshly cleaned,
wallow in the mire once again,
am I really so far,
will I ever escape
from these prison walls
surrounding me now?
and yes, now I see,
now I know just how
far it goes,
just how costly it becomes,
what fools we are;
trapped within snares
of our own doing;
I see my life play out,
I remember all the wrong decisions,
I relive all the wasted opportunities,
I count up all the lost minutes;
and I am so tired;
the darkness waits once more,
thick and black,
silently enveloping my soul;
does no one see?
does no one know?
does no one care?
everything fades,
everything passes by like
shadows in the night,
everything changes with
the morning dawn;
save me O Lord,
let me rest in Your
powerful arms,
let me find sanctuary
within Your sacred walls;
bring me home to You.
.

.

I Am Ready Lord





















old friends return;
wooing,
soothing,
inviting,
cajoling;
standing just outside the door,
hiding among the dark
angry shadows,
waiting for the show to begin,
patiently biding their time;
all night diners,
endless cups of coffee,
lonely highway lines,
empty roads leading nowhere;
how far is the bottom?
where do the lies end?
where does truth begin?
emotional roller coaster rides,
painful days and nights,
forgotten dreams,
silent memories;
who cares?
all I ever wanted,
was for someone to
recognize the pain,
someone to understand
the depth,
someone to salute the effort,
but no one ever does;
no one but You;
don’t let me fall Lord,
hold me above the killing zone,
keep me safe from the
slaughter below;
I hear Your precious voice;
I am ready Lord,
I am ready;
all I want is to belong to You,
all I need is You;
I am ready Lord,
I am ready.
.

.

Friday, March 27, 2015

All I Need


























That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.   II Corinthians 12:10
my eyes do not see,
but I have eyes
with which to see,
my ears do not hear,
but I have ears
with which to hear,
my mind does not understand,
but I have a mind
with which to understand;
I have You,
and that is all I need;
this fleshly body
slowly crumbles into the dust,
yet I continue to rise,
man-made ideas and thoughts
come and go,
but in the end
they mean nothing at all;
I have You,
and that is all I need;
through weakness
Your strength is made perfect,
therefore I shall glory
in all my weakness,
for when I am weak
I am made strong
by Your grace alone;
I have You,
and that is all I need.
.

.

For All My Days




















When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!”   Luke 5:8
Father, see my weakness,
forgive my iniquities,
have mercy on my trespasses,
do not leave me here to face
the fate I so richly deserve;
take pity on me Lord,
I am a sinful man;
within all the chaos and confusion,
I have but one desire,
through all the aimless drifting
and wandering,
I have loved You;
in You will I trust
for all my days;
You have rolled back
the darkness,
You have restored the joy,
You have removed the
sorrow and shame,
You have returned
the hope;
let Your light shine
through the night,
let Your glory be seen by all,
let Your kingdom rule
for eternity,
let Your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven;
let me be Your servant
for all my days.;
time moves on,
this earthly body crumbles and fades,
back into the dust from
whence it came,
the things of this world
come and go,
yet Your love endures forever;
soon the pain and suffering will pass,
soon the fear and doubt will be gone,
soon I shall be with You
for all my days.
.

.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

The Comforter

















If ye love me, keep my commandments. And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.   John 14:15-17
These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you. But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.   John 14:25-26
sometimes I am so close,
some days I am so sure,
as the words flash across my mind,
like lightning in the sky,
here and gone in the blink of an eye,
with no idea what comes next;
awed by the magnitude and depth,
humbled and amazed
by how far it truly goes,
taken aback by the wisdom
with which it speaks,
the Comforter promised
by His word;
He who testifies of the truth,
He who teaches discipline and knowledge,
He who brings all things to remembrance,
the precious gift from the Lord
of love and perfection,
the Master of truth and light,
the Holy King of the universe,
to whom I owe all that I have,
to whom I will praise,
to whom I will belong
forever;
redeemed by the power of His
marvelous love and grace,
freed from the bondage of this world
through His suffering and sacrifice,
saved from eternal darkness
by the shedding of His precious blood;
O my Lord,
my sweet, sweet Lord,
to You do I give everything
that I have to give;
how I love Your beauty and light,
how I long to see Your glorious face,
guide me down the path which leads
me home to You.
.

.

Where is Thy Sting?


























I declare to you, brothers and sisters, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.   1 Corinthians 15:50-58
we live in a world ruled by fear;
it dominates our thoughts,
it determines our decisions,
it decides how we live our lives;
fear of suffering and pain,
fear of illness and disease,
fear of losing loved ones,
fear of losing money
and possessions,
fear of being different,
fear of growing old,
fear of being sad,
fear of not being loved,
fear of rejection,
fear of the unknown,
fear of the truth;
fears so dark and deep,
we don’t even like to admit
they exist;
we live in a world that thrives on fear,
with many preying on the fears of others,
surviving on their reactions,
commercializing their existence,
capitalizing on the opportunities,
exploiting the weakness;
there is One who has conquered death,
who has overcome the fear,
through Him we are free to live again,
through Him we are free to ask;
O death where is thy sting?
O grave where is thy victory?
.

.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Psalm 103





















For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children— with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.   Psalm 103:11-18
when I turn to You,
light comes pouring in,
darkness slips away,
hope rises within;
I am set free;
You are a sweet summer breeze,
a clear mountain stream,
a warm, gentle touch,
innocence and purity;
truth complete;
as far as the east is from the west,
have You removed my transgressions from me,
as a father has compassion on his child,
have You had compassion on me;
through Your unfathomable sacrifice
have I been redeemed from the dead,
by Your mercy and grace
has my soul been restored;
forever shall I belong to You,
forever shall I sing of Your greatness,
forever shall I praise Your name,
forever shall I love You above all others;
let Your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven,
remove all that is not of You,
cleanse the filth and iniquity
abiding within this imperfect temple,
make me into a new creation;
fill me with Your love;
You are my strength,
You are my rock,
You are my comfort and joy,
You are my God;
You are my Everything.
.

.

Discipline


















Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways” declares the Lord, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.   Isaiah 55:6-9
Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.   Revelation 3:19-20
once more,
You open my eyes,
once again,
You hold up the mirror
before my wretched and pitiful face,
revealing inner things
I could not see on my own,
showing the conceit
of all my preconceived ideas,
humbling the lofty and haughty spirit
by which I have walked,
crushing the self-righteous throne
upon which I have sat,
deflating the egotistical vanity
living inside;
proving that You alone
know the hearts of men,
making me understand
that You, and You alone,
have the right to judge,
that there are ways
which seem right to a man,
but in the end lead to death;
Lord, forgive my selfish pride,
have mercy upon my wicked ways,
guide my blinded eyes,
lead me down Your holy paths,
use me for Your righteous will,
teach me Your perfect ways,
rebuke my errors and mistakes;
discipline me as a beloved son.
.

.

The Way of Truth


















“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”   Matthew 7:13-14
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”   John 14:6-7
lost in this sea of darkness,
sentenced to die from the day
we are born,
guilty as charged,
eternally separated,
forever gone;
the dreams of men
are like birds on the wind,
shifting and rearranging,
living and dying,
here today,
gone tomorrow;
there are many roads in life,
leading to far away,
unknown destinations,
creating their own specific
brand of justification,
finding their own particular
version of truth,
but no matter how many
truths we create,
no matter how many
different ways
we want to believe;
there is only one truth,
there is only one way,
there is only one road;
it does not bend to fit our
ideas or desires,
it does not go in the direction
we demand it to go,
it is final,
it is absolute;
that is how truth works;
enter through the narrow gate,
for wide is the gate and broad
is the road that leads to destruction,
and many enter through it,
but small is the gate and
narrow the road that
leads to life;
and only a few who find it.
.

.

Just Believe





















Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”   Mark 5:36
in the middle of the night I awake,
gripped with fear,
overcome by the immensity,
afraid of the unknown road ahead,
thinking of all the possible dangers,
unable to control even the smallest detail,
completely inadequate and out of control,
heading on a collision course with disaster,
then I remember the places from where
I have come,
all the doors that have been opened,
all the chains which have been removed,
the love and grace that has brought me
to this place,
and I hear His soft, cool voice,
gently whispering in the nighttime
darkness;
“Don’t be afraid, just believe.”
the fear fades away,
the doubt dissolves into nothing,
the darkness turns to light,
there is only love,
there is only Him;
and that is all that matters;
in the deepest depths,
on the highest heights,
He is there, guiding my path,
showing the way,
the Friend who stands by my side
closer than a brother,
the King who laid down His life
that I might live;
the One who I will love
forever.
.

.

Yeshua





















what words have I,
that pay honor to a King?
what gift can be given,
worthy of His name?
He who overcame,
He who defeated death forever,
He who reigns eternally,
He who is our master;
mocked and mistreated,
spit upon and reviled,
beaten and scourged,
led like a lamb to the slaughter,
sacrificed upon a tree,
for our iniquities and
transgressions,
resurrected from the grave,
that through faith in Him,
none should perish,
but all might have life;
through Him, are all things possible,
through Him, are all things made new,
to Him does all praise belong,
to Him is all glory given,
lift up His name before
all others;
Yeshua,
the Holy One of God.
.

.

Seige



















outside this worn and battered fortress,
the enemy patiently waits,
laying siege to these crumbling walls,
setting hidden traps and snares,
offering enticing lures and baits,
silently probing and testing,
continuously searching for
weakness and flaws;
preparing for the final assault;
within the darkness
I seek Your face,
through the long lost night
I wait for Your presence;
rise up O mighty Lord,
defend me from unknown enemies,
free me from unseen prison bars,
fill me with Your holy fire,
bathe me in Your glorious light,
overwhelm me with Your holy spirit;
You are all that I desire,
You are all that I need,
You are the center of my hope,
You are the answer to every question;
You are all there is;
in You shall I find relief,
through You shall I overcome,
in You shall I have victory,
through You shall I be delivered;
stay with me forever,
strengthen my weakening defenses,
prepare my heart for the coming battle,
let me be triumphant in the face of defeat;
bring me home to You.
.
.

All That Will Be Left

















Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.   John 15:13
“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.”   John 15:18-19
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.   1 Corinthians 13:1-13
love is not about telling
someone what they
want to hear,
not about being positive
or keeping your mouth shut,
not happy thoughts or
living in fantasy worlds
which do not exist;
love is telling someone
what they need to hear,
whether it means they
will love you in return
or not,
love is sometimes
struggle and pain,
sometimes sorrow
and tears;
sometimes torture
and death;
the world does not understand
love such as this,
just as it does not understand
that someday,
when the flesh has withered
and decayed,
when knowledge and wisdom
are gone,
when hope and faith serve no
purpose;
all that will be left
is love.

.
.

Monday, March 23, 2015

even Einstein knew that


























Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only changed or altered in form – a condensation of the first law of thermodynamics, and one of the principles for Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity.
I've learned a few things
in this life of mine,
things that no one else knows
or takes the time to see;
for example;
I know that rock n roll
began in 1948,
in the form of a simple
country blues song
called boogie chillun,
by a man
who would influence
a whole generation,
but never get the credit
that was his due;
and I know,
that I have seen a true prophet
of God,
walk this earth in the shape
of a man,
during my lifetime,
and that I heard his voice,
just as so many others did,
but that very few recognized him
for who he truly was,
but that someday they will;
just like all the other prophets
who came before him;
I know that this life
is not what it seems,
that it is an illusion
created to deceive and fool,
a very elaborate illusion,
but an illusion
just the same;
I know that Jesus Christ
was exactly who he said he was,
just as the words of the bible
say precisely what they mean,
and are not hiding
ancient secrets,
or theological mysteries,
despite how many scholars
say they are,
that the truth is so simple,
only the simple
can see it;
whether the rest of the world
wants to believe it
or not;
I know that nothing
in this life
is an accident,
that it was all planned out
from the beginning,
every detail,
every chance encounter,
that the energy we carry inside,
can never be destroyed,
only changed
or altered in form;
hell;
even Einstein knew that.
.

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Saturday, March 21, 2015

Next

















“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”   Matthew 14:28-33
one more lesson,
one more obstacle,
one more weakness,
one more time, I begin
to sink below the surface;
once again, You grasp
my hand,
once again, You pull
me from the depths,
once again, You teach me
to overcome,
once again, Your power sets
me free;
the world continues on,
wars and rumors of wars,
death and destruction,
joy and laughter,
greed and self-satisfaction,
vanity and pride;
none of that matters now,
the flesh slowly dies,
only a fading mist,
a disappearing shadow,
I am finished with it all,
there is nothing more
I need,
there is nothing more
I want,
all that matters now is
what comes next,
all that matters now,
is You.
.

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This Place




















every day I leave this place with
an incredible, overwhelming sadness,
my daughter says this place
is sucking the life out of
me;
perhaps she is right;
but perhaps it is something
much deeper;
I feel the fear,
I sense the hopelessness,
I understand the grief,
I know the despair;
it is almost more than
I can bear;
I am part of everyone,
I am part of no one,
I am part of everything,
I am part of nothing;
it has been a long education,
but now the end approaches,
I am done with the false hopes,
I am done with the fantasies,
this world has nothing left
to offer;
You have showed me truths
that no one else could,
You have taken me places
where very few have been,
I no longer have the strength
to fight the manipulators,
the users,
the phonies,
the fakes,
the self-righteous hypocrites;
they have their reward,
they have their world;
this place belongs to them;
I awake with pain,
my body stiff from
laying in bed,
the idea of more pain
makes me lay there for
several minutes,
eventually I move,
and it hurts worse
than I imagined,
then come the leg cramps
and loss of control
of my left leg;
the day is finished,
but still I remain.
.

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dreams

























who is right and
who is wrong?
I am like a beached whale;
struggling,
turning,
pulsing,
heaving,
fighting,
rolling,
rising,
falling;
and who is right
and who is wrong?
the silence remains,
undisguised,
unspoken,
forgotten,
hiding behind
darkened windows,
shadows within the
night,
silky smooth,
hot and bothered,
passionately pure,
blends of this,
shades of that,
pieces of the
unfinished puzzle,
none of it real,
none of it genuine,
none of it true;
who is right and
who is wrong?
within these walls
are many tales,
much laughter,
rivers of sorrow,
oceans of tears,
pools of sadness,
victims drowning
within their own blood;
we are all right,
we are all wrong;
winners and losers,
fighters and failures,
lovers and haters,
innocent and guilty,
doomed and redeemed;
together;
this is all there is,
this is all we have;
I cannot dream
what I do not know,
I cannot know
what I do not dream.
.

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Everything In Its Place




















He replied, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”   Luke 10:18-20
everything in its time,
everything in its place,
everything changes,
everything remains the same;
the wind blows where it will;
who knows the approaching shadows?
who understands the raging depths?
who can see this terrible darkness?
the growing tempest looms
on the far off horizon;
it has begun,
it is finished;
“Nothing will harm you”
everything is temporary,
everything fades,
this never ending dream
rises like some ancient
early morning mist,
building from ashes
long since past,
as the day comes for those
who hold on to tomorrow;
while the night waits for the rest;
here we shall fall,
here we shall stand,
if I only could,
you know I certainly would;
for everything there is a cost,
for everything there is a loss;
you were mine,
and I was yours.
.

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\

The Clock is Ticking





















walking this beach,
there is a feeling of incompleteness,
restlessness,
unfinished business;
paupers,
waiting for the axe to fall;
so much suffering,
so much dying,
does anyone deserve this?
like a side of beef,
she leads me to this place,
selling me to the highest bidder,
giving up without a fight,
no resistance,
no struggle;
only shame;
there is a depth here,
untold symmetry,
flapping and unfurling
with the newborn sun,
words come easy,
light and free,
no longer encumbered
by stones of inertia,
shooting through the limited
nighttime sky with
a touch of innocence;
there is a depth here;
this boiling sun
is no longer a home,
this raging sea
provides no relief,
old bones come home
to roost,
the clock is ticking;
time is running out.
.

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Never Know




















you touch me like a candle,
burning with sweet, tender, mercy,
as unseen worlds and non-existent walls,
rise up only to crumble back
into the dark, angry ground;
but you’ll never know,
you’ll never know;
like an unobtainable dream,
you flutter into the room,
unapproachable,
unrehearsed,
fresh from the kill,
hot on the trail,
one more from the road,
your face the face of humanity,
your expression all that there is;
I feel your fingertips,
breathe your aroma,
taste your skin,
imagine the unimaginable;
you’ll never know,
never know;
you ride upon a high horse,
in distant places with no name,
frustrated fires burning within,
innocent guilt replaces
moments of madness,
lost inside the maelstrom
with no way home,
rest easy my darling
soon it will be done,
soon enough it will be finished;
you’ll never know,
never know;
we scream into the wind,
searching for worlds
that do not exist,
running from the impending darkness,
unable to change,
unable to exist,
unable to love,
frustrated little rodents,
scrambling from one hole
to another,
waiting for evening meals,
complete with nighttime
wet dreams,
tucked safely in lairs of
complacent apathy,
we are nothing
but dissolving shit,
bubbling and fizzing
our way into nooks and crannies
of indelible majesty,
where only echoes may be heard,
complete with one-way dreams
of suburbia bliss,
surrounded by walls of
Utopian opulence;
innocent pawn,
rest your beautiful head
here in grieving arms,
sweet daughter of the night,
sister of the moon,
the morning sun does approach,
bringing forth its saving light,
and it is here that you belong,
where you shall shine
like the jewel you truly are,
you will never know my love,
never know.
.

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